Name: Bill Burr | Sleep Sex & Other Activities
Uploaded: 2020-12-09T12:00:31.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr | Sleep Sex & Other Activities' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-12-09. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr | Sleep Sex & Other Activities' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-12-09. Transcript available.

sleep sex and other activities all right hey billy boy um long-time listener
and first-time
writer i recently heard you talk about three-year-old episode i recently heard
about
your three-year-old episode regarding sleep sex and i wanted to write you i don't
even remember
that three years ago i i talked about sleeps what is sleep sex a couple years
ago i found out i too
have that issue sleep sex you have sex while you're sleeping when the fuck did
i ever say i had that
i gotta look this up i gotta see what the fuck this is first sleep sex you guys
are fucking killing me
the shit that i search on my sleep sex one sleep disorder you might not be
familiar with is sleep
sex or sexsomnia sexsomnia like sleepwalking is a type of parasomnia
what in the fucking love of god is this so you're asleep and you're fucking
something
parasomnia is the result of your brain being caught between sleep stages this
in-between phase
may make you act like you you're awake when you're still asleep oh jesus christ
people with sexsomnia experience sleep-related sexual behavior these behaviors
reign from from
masturbation to sexual intercourse treatment for underlining sleep disorder or
behavioral issues
may treat sleep sex to what in the fuck symptoms
you're waking up with jizz on the front of your pajamas you don't know how it
got there uh sexsomnia is a
different i don't want to read about this okay whatever i i mean obviously i
must have been i was talking
about this i i never suffered from this how do you know bill you were asleep
good point good point look at
joe biden joe biden with the mask on and his cia fucking aviators get ready to
fucking go after iran
uh a couple of years ago i found out i too have that issue and i found out
because i had started dating my
girlfriend and she would often mention how great last night was and i'll have
no recollection of what
she's talking about oh my god dude you got like a billy valentine this is like
the nutty professor
at first i was hesitant to talk about it but as i became it became more
frequent i started asking
more details she'd mentioned i lasted far longer than usual and the sex was rougher
than average
too but she claims to have enjoyed it dude you got a demon in you man i think
you might need a priest
uh the the power of price compels you suck it bitch uh so one day i decided to
admit
to her that i had no recollection of any of these encounters and such
activities she has mentioned
she has mentioned and didn't know what to tell her about it at first she did
not take
me seriously and simply refuse but then she came back with some medical related
research and we sat down
to talk about it as it is a legit thing people go through slash suffer from
holy shit and dude post
me too and all of this stuff what in the what if your girlfriend does that and
you think she's awake and you
banged her oh my god then what happens then what is that
all right guys what you gotta you gotta bring a cold bucket of water
in with you into the bedroom and if the middle of the night your girlfriend
reaches over and grab
your dick you gotta dump it over her head and she'll get mad and everything but
you know afterwards if
she still wants to fuck you know that she's awake and that's really her all
right there you go see
you know what that is you know what that is huh that is come on play it oh why
won't anything work
on this fucking computer
ah that's there we go
if I'm somebody you fucking cunt that's it was supposed to do this come here
come on
why won't you work
it's time
hey
that's me and you should bring a cold bucket of water and dump it over her head
before you fucker
all right um here we go needless to say I was very wait I reached out to my to
my parents oh my god
you talked to them about that I inquired them if I had any sleepwalking issues
and they reluctantly
said yes oh boy oh boy they sounded worried and asked if something had happened
oh my god
did you walk around with your dick in your hand while you were still living
with your parents and
they never said anything oh jesus now that's a tough fucking I bet they had
arguments it comes from
your side of the family how dare you put that on me I did not tell them because
our religion does
not allow premarital sex
oh good old religion
you know anytime you want to stop the lines of communication just bring just
bring in a hardcore
religious person
anyway um
I did not tell them because our religion does not allow premarital sex or even
sharing the same roof
with another gender to live under
I just expressed that I was curious
they told me of times when I wanted to go
grocery shopping in the middle of my sleep and a few
other times when I would got up early got ready for school at 3 and m 3 a.m.
and just sat outside the house waiting for the bus to show up
dude that is fucking frightening
it's not as scary as this fucking dude from england good lord how about a
little fucking hair gel
he looks like he just walked in from the outside took off a knitted hat and
decided he was going to address the whole fucking nation
anyway they told me
they also mentioned situations as bizarre as me trying to fly a kite in the
middle of the night
the list goes on
some of the sleep stuff has been productive
needless to say I was very worried and decided I would sleep in a separate
bedroom than my girlfriend
and also installed cameras to see if I can catch myself doing things
sure as hell one day I woke up to find motion alert through the night
and long and
and long behold
isn't it low and behold
I had caught myself trying to cook in the kitchen and proceeding to eat
there have been other harmless activities too such as me unlocking and locking
the doors
holy shit
but the ones that bother me the most
if getting to my girlfriend's bedroom and of course proceeding to have sex with
her
I have however moved away
now wait a minute is your girlfriend helping you out with this
because if you're dicking her down as the sleep guy
you know
I think you're putting her in a tough spot here
I have however moved away to a different city for work this year
and have managed to avoid this behavior
I don't think this sleep sex bothers my girlfriend
it doesn't sound like it
it's not like you're getting the job done
but other things will likely drive us apart
but that's a topic for another day
anyway hope you and your family stay safe and uninfected
thank you for your time
yeah dude I gotta ask you
you know what are the
if there's a follow-up to this
like what can people do if they suffer from this
I mean that's terrifying
I can't imagine if you like
if you like sleepwalk
like legit sleepwalk
to the point you're unlocking and unlocking shit
if you got an apartment like a couple floors up
I mean
could be a problem right
walk right off the balcony
or the mock balcony
I love when they have like
like the little fucking thing
like it looks like a balcony
but it isn't
you can't even stand sideways on the fucking thing
It's like, what is what is that for?