Name: Bill Burr - FMTV | Failed Vasectomy Part I With Josh Adam Meyers
Uploaded: 2021-02-06T12:00:01.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - FMTV | Failed Vasectomy Part I With Josh Adam Meyers' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-02-06. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - FMTV | Failed Vasectomy Part I With Josh Adam Meyers' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-02-06. Transcript available.

um i'm 28 years old and my 26 year old girlfriend just found out she's pregnant
now you're saying
this dude like you didn't blow the load in her she found out she's pregnant
like she got shingles
or something uh this came as a big shot because i previously had a vasectomy
when i was 22. ah
there's the answer jesus christ at 22 you either had nine kids by then or you
never wanted any
he had a vasectomy at 22 said and never had never wanted kids after she told me
i went to a
urologist who told me i had regained a sperm count although rare it was not unheard
of when i met this
girl she changed my life i never trusted or loved any woman the way i do her
she's the light of my
life but weren't planning on this we both have okay jobs but living in california
is expensive
and adding a third mouth to feed and paying for doctors visits will crush us
financially she doesn't
have health insurance do you have any advice for me my fear is losing the
chance to have kids with her
as this may be a miracle considering my vasectomy and considered you waited a
long time to have kids
i want to know if you think this would be good for someone in my position to go
through this
thanks for taking time to read this poorly and probably not understand my
situation you old great
cunt uh the old great cunt he ate what he used to be love your shows and i hope
you hear i hope to hear
more of your ramblings from you best to you the baby and go fuck yourself and
your gay ass patriots all
right um can i can i take this because i think that he should do it yeah i
think you do don't don't wait
on life for your financial situation man if if if you guys will make it work
that's what you will make
it work you'll figure it out you might not think that you have enough money
right now but something
like life is constantly changing and evolving and it's just like yeah lay off
the micro bruce and have
the kid yeah exactly like you'll make it work just i think you should have a
kid you should consider it
a miracle just like you said i think it's a great thing i'm actually really
happy for you and i think
put it this way i wish you know i wish i didn't wait as long as i did and the
other day i was watching
this i was watching this uh this kid's song um it's just as simple as it's like
snowflake snowflake
little snowflake snowflake snowflake snowflake da da da da da and my daughter
was trying to sing it
and she was throwing her head back going snowflake i think wasn't quite in pit
dude i i had to fight
off getting emotional just watching her do that i bet it's the most beautiful
thing in the world ever
and there's nothing up until then anything i've done madison square garden was
not as good as that
not and not even remotely it's like little madison square i was like wow that's
amazing but that
moment with my daughter was like this is what life is all about 100 this is
what it's all about and
then another great thing is you become a dad and one of the greatest fucking
things ever and some sage
advice i learned from a good dad is he said how awesome is because he goes it's
not about you anymore
and at first i kind of took that as like you know because i'm a very like like
don't tell me what the
fuck to do idiot sometimes and then i i realized uh uh how great that is like
the other day i finally
had a day off and my wife wanted to go out and go get some breakfast she goes
you want to do that
i was like no i'm finally home i want to stay home so that was just like all
right fuck it that's what
she wants to do and we just went out and i said yeah it's not about you they
want to go out to
breakfast take them out to fucking breakfast and i went out to breakfast and i
had a great fucking time
and i had a great time and it's weird when you're home you're a dad or whatever
blah blah but when you go
out you kind of feel more like a dad i don't know yeah well no it's like you
can take them out to
dinner you're taking them out of the car you're walking she's holding your hand
or you're carrying
her you go in you get her in the little booster seat you get her whatever like
it's usually like
a mac and cheese or like a cut up hot dog or some shit i assume that she's at
that age and you did you
just people are looking at the kid look how beautiful the kid is and you're
like oh i know it's just like
dude you're in your element man yeah no it's awesome and what's cool is she's
really really
beginning to talk now yeah so uh yeah it's getting to the point where i can
actually convey to her and
she will understand how much i love her which is going to be great because that's
incredible yeah
because i always say you're very much i love you do you understand that and she'll
just be looking at
you smile or whatever but i'll be i'll actually be able to say it she'll be
able to understand it
yeah i can't wait can't wait to play catch with her i'm gonna teach her how to
drive my truck