Name: Bill Burr | Bill vs Tiny Living
Uploaded: 2021-02-17T12:00:19.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr | Bill vs Tiny Living' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-02-17. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr | Bill vs Tiny Living' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-02-17. Transcript available.

I'll tell you right now people be careful what you wish for you know I'm really
starting to see
the genius of uh those people who live in those little fucking like they
somehow turn a walk-in
closet into like a house um how insufferable is someone who lives in a fucking
house like that
you know they have this big fucking ear-to-ear grin when you come walking in
there
because they love being the center of attention which is why they bought that
little house to
begin with now look if you're doing it for financial reasons okay you're off
the hook but
if you're fucking doing it to make a statement that you're a minimalist okay
that's great I think
it is a good thing it is good for the fucking environment but I don't want to
come over I don't
want to talk to you as you come walking in there waiting to blow my mind at how
little you can live
with and be happy be happy with you know okay like I'm just picturing a guy
with a beard and his hair
pulled back in a ponytail you sort of saw that brillowy hair you know looks
like the drummer in
faith no more except like smarmy a smarmy version of that guy that's who I
picture when I walk in
he's not wearing a shirt with his dumb yoga body you know he's basically doing
everything right
and it's fucking annoying me you know and then you're in that little house and
you know you can't
you can't do anything you're just in that little house everybody's gonna see it
if you have a fight
it's gonna be like raising Arizona you're gonna come out the side of it
I don't know if I didn't have kids I really think and I look at those things
sometimes as I'm sitting
here looking around my fucking office and over the years every gig I've done
somebody gives me
something somebody gives me this I get a free t-shirt and all this shit and the
next thing you know
next thing you know you just have a mountain of fucking shit
minimalist living okay for those of you who didn't listen the last time I was
making fun of those
people that live in small houses not that it's a bad thing to do I think it's a
great thing to do
but actually going into that house and having to listen to that person
fucking sit there like they crack the code of living I don't know I forget what
I said I probably said
something fucked up and I imagine this is somebody who lives in a little house
gonna give me shit
all right dear Billy acetate I heard you shitting on tiny homes a couple of
podcasts ago
as an owner of a fabulous 400 square foot tiny home I was triggered
I'm sorry that I got 99% of America
oh I'm sorry I'm oh I'm so sorry that I in 99% of America
can't afford your 4000 square foot old house
hey buddy
buddy
I was you
okay that I just didn't accept a fucking tiny house
go write some jokes and get on stop acting like I'm some trust fund kid
um
he goes
I have everything I ever needed
consolidated into one small area
this is why I don't want to go into these people's houses
if you came into my house
I wouldn't sit there and tell you talk to you about the square footage and all
the stuff I had
I would ask you what you want to drink
this is you're proving my point
if I went into your fucking house
I'd have to sit there and listen to you telling me how fucking great it is the
whole time
uh
minimalist living isn't just about housing
housing it's a lifestyle
see see see see what I said
I share a smart car with my wife
and I own
I only own three outfits of clothing
even my dog is small
uh let me guess
you probably waste food
and are too good for leftovers
dude
let me tell you something
I am a fucking animal
my wife gives me shit
I go into the goddamn fridge like a fucking bear
do you know I was on my way to eat something
and there was a little salmon cake
left in this little sad plastic bag
I'm like that might be going bad
I don't give a shit
I don't want to waste it
but I just fucking ate it
and it tasted like shit
and I still finished it
so fuck you
and your little fucking house
and your oversized ego
um anyway
how about you start
you know I
if everybody's like you
then little houses are for quitters
um
how about you start
thinking about the environment
and your overall impact
why don't you go
break down some more boxes
for Nia
and leave us minimalist alone
ah shit
sir
I'm sure
now that you have
you know only three outfits
you have time to sit around
and think about what your dream is
and why don't you go after it
okay
there's that right there
is the exact
I literally said on the podcast
I wouldn't want to go into
some guy's little fucking house
because I'd have to listen
to his fucking ideology
and then you send me an email
I was making fun of the ideology
not that you're doing it
at what point did I
did I put my fucking house
in your house's face
I didn't do it
I love when that happens
come on
I want to hear from more
you little house
fucking
holier than thou
fucking assholes
I love how you think
because I live in this
fucking house
that I don't
you know what my house
even looks like
that you think that
I don't fucking recycle
anyway
any shit I don't want
I just bring it over
to the fucking homeless people
or I sell it on eBay
you don't know me
you fucking dickhead
you're in this
you little ass fucking house
and all of a sudden
you're better than me
fuck you
alright
enjoy your walk-in closet
go fuck yourself