Name: Bill Burr | Gold Digging Dad
Uploaded: 2021-02-24T12:00:11.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr | Gold Digging Dad' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-02-24. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr | Gold Digging Dad' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-02-24. Transcript available.

gold digging dad hey Billy dad ass you are a father and I want to know your
opinion on on
how you think this should be handled for context I am a female in my late 20s
and have an older
sister who has the same concerns about our dad that your dad's a gold digger is
this your
biological father this feels like one of those fucking Jerry Springer things
starting off here
you know what I need I need a sip of water here um all right let's see what we
got here all right
my dad has just gotten engaged to his soon-to-be third wife let's call her
Sally uh they are around
60 years old and he's had a bad track record track record when it comes to
relationship I asked him
once what is it that changes after you get married everyone always says after
you get married everyone
always says after you get married things change so she asked him what is it
that changes after you get
married his answer to this question was uh the woman always tries to control
you they think that they own
you after you get married uh hey you know that's that's not a hundred percent
false uh in his situation
I think the in his situation I think the opposite is true he has admitted to
things here and there
that support that uh like when he told my sister that he wouldn't let my mom go
to nursing school
when they were together because he liked having her under his thumb his word oh
is this one of these
fucking assholes who doesn't like to be controlled but then controls other
people I don't get those
people um you would think if you don't like to be controlled that you would
then understand that
other people don't either and you would have empathy because you don't even
have to put yourself in
their shoes because you feel the same way they do strange strange but I would
be lying to you if I
didn't say that I knew a lot of people like that anyways he said and when he
also said that he told
his last serious girlfriend that he had erectile dysfunction but really he just
didn't find her
attractive yeah there you go he has always been super vain and really he's
really only dates super
small women with big tits
this dude sounds like a guy's guy from the mid-1970s probably still drinks beer
with a pull tab
um so anyways he he meets he met sally several years ago and they dated for a
short time before he
broke up with her he told her that it was because he was scared of falling in
love with her after a year
after about a about a year ago sorry he was talking to my sister about how we
started talking to her
again and that if he married sally he would be set for life because she has
money yeah he this is the
problem with this guy is he he goes he gets into relationships for wrong
reasons other wrong
reasons money tits those are all dumb reasons to marry somebody you know those
are good reasons to
to fuck around and have a fling she's got big tits those would be fun all right
great you know what i
mean i mean i don't i i don't like mooching off people though i draw the line
on money now anyway
they began dating he began dating her a few months ago a few months later sorry
uh they are engaged and
he is chomping at the bit to get the marriage over and done with good i'm glad
he's chomping at the
bit she'll probably sense that and call it off hopefully my question is should
i bring this up with him
and see if he really is in love with her should i try and contact her and feel
out how things are
going with them i have never even spoken to this woman should i just say fuck
it if she's dumb enough
to get herself into this situation then it's on her i disagree with they always
say that well you're
the one who married her it's like if somebody's lying to you and saying that
they love you
you know how are you supposed to know uh anyway she has kids and would hope
that if they thought it was
fishy they would talk to her about their concerns if it were my mom i would be
all over her telling her
wait until she really knows what she's getting into yeah but if you were her
daughter you know the guy
that she was marrying wouldn't come up to you and say hey you know i'm trying
to marry your mother so i can
be set financially you know huh huh you're with me i'm taking part of your
inheritance there little
sweetheart right uh should i insert myself into the situation or should i leave
it be i've only been
close with my dad for a few years when i was a teenager and since then it's
just been a distance
relationship i would really love some advice from you and the lovely nia if she
is available i'm a huge
fan and wish you and your wonderful family the best of luck thanks and go fuck
yourself i would say it all
depends on what sort of relationship you want to have with your dad because he'll
get fucking he will
be fucking livid if he finds out that you fucked this thing up um but it is
kind of weird to just
stand back and it's just like if he's going to take her for money you know what
about those kids and
they're in their 60s but even then some people that just not good at reading
people and if he's just
telling her all of this shit but he said he didn't bring i don't know your dad's
a weird dude he doesn't
really say what he's really thinking he's like you know he got erectile
dysfunction and then goes like
i you know i don't find you attractive so that wasn't really what was going on
and then he said he
broke up with her because he was afraid he was going to fall in love with her
so maybe he's a there's
there's a world where he could be afraid to tell you how much he loves her and
missed her when they
were broken up so he's just acting like it's about money or he really is like
that so you have to figure
that out considering this guy doesn't seem to be the most honest dude out there
and then
you have to kind of i mean there's there's no one of my favorite expressions no
good deed goes unpunished
all right um oh speaking of which thank you to everybody who watched the patrice
o'neill documentary
uh killing is easy if you want to see the full unedited edit they had to take
14 minutes out
uh it's on comedycentral.com it's on their their um their website and i was
very i was thrilled with
the feedback that i got from fans of his and especially from other comics um
and i'm telling
you it was all mike bonfiglio is just a friggin genius um i feel like uh
you know people were giving me too much credit all i did was he just called me
up and was saying
hey do you have this con this comedian can you i'd like to get him in can you
do that that's all i did
like he i didn't sit in the edit room he did he put mike bonfiglio did the
thing all right there we go
okay uh boyfriend says i'm getting cankles um wait did i finish with that yeah
so that's what i would do
and i would just
you know
you know there's ways to do it anonymously
you know i don't know i don't know
personally i would probably just stay out of it
uh that's one of those things it's just one of those fucking things if you don't
know the other
person how do you fucking bridge that gap and then the other person you're
related to
like how do you call somebody up and say hey just let you know my dad's kind of
a selfish asshole
and he said uh if he gets with you he'll be financially all set i mean you know
what you
probably maybe you can do it anonymously
do it anonymously and then just deny it and just see what the fuck happens that's
that's the closest
thing you could do but i i wouldn't insert maybe there's a way to do it that
way i don't know