Name: Bill Burr - FMTV | Throwing Cheese in a Baby's Face
Uploaded: 2021-03-12T12:00:07.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - FMTV | Throwing Cheese in a Baby's Face' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-03-12. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - FMTV | Throwing Cheese in a Baby's Face' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-03-12. Transcript available.

cheesing babies uh dear billy badge have you seen these pussies throwing cheese
onto their kids faces i saw one of them it's just the fucking desperation for
people to get views
um on the internet to the point i mean look i'm a performer i have a
desperation for it i get it
on some level but when you start like the amount of videos i just see of like
parents with like
their kids right and they're starting to fall and they don't do anything and
they just film it so
they can laugh and they just like let their kid get hurt is you know the real
ones like you can tell
it wasn't set up is because right as the kid starts to fall like that you see
the fucking phone flies
out of frame and you actually miss the kid falling down you can tell the parent
lunged and tried to
save the person but um yeah i don't get it anyways it's like how much the
person said uh
how much do you hate yourself that you'd throw cheese on a baby's face just
imagine what type
of memory is sublimely stored where a baby sees a camera and then something hit
their face i'd arrest
all these asshole parents and throw fire hose water in the at their faces um
yeah i mean i don't know if
it does like psychological damage to the baby if you can even fucking remember
it like someday it's going
to be in philly and they're like hey you want to get a cheesesteak it's like
hey jesus fucking
it starts slamming the sandwich into its face um i don't know that it does that
there is just a thing
where when you are you become a parent just how like defenseless and helpless
your kid is
um look i'm not advocating being a helicopter parent i'm not saying that but
there's just something
about filming it like because it's the kid obviously doesn't enjoy it it
obviously startles the kid
and the fact that you're putting your own fucking adult needs ahead of that i
mean i i all of that
that whole category is giving your kid a stupid fucking name like coat hanger
or some dumb hollywood
celebrity fucking name or or or putting your fucking political agenda like your
kid is gonna live your
political agenda i'm raising my kid gender neutral and then all of a sudden
your kid has your son has
to wear a fucking dress just so you you can show off how fucking progressive
you are rather than asking
the kid if he just wants a football instead you know what i mean like you're
gonna make that decision
i i think all of that stuff is um i don't know what the i'm not a psychologist
i i just it's not how i
would do it you know i think you should if your kid starts to fall you should
try to catch your kid
i think if there's cheese you should hand it to your child if your kid wants to
eat it they eat it if
they don't then you finish it and gain a few more pounds like a dad right um i
don't know and i also i
also just like if your kid fucks up and then you put it on the internet it's
just like it exists forever
and kids are already mean you're literally giving like
um ammunition
like somebody showed me this video this woman
her kid was being a class clown and dancing at school
and she gave him the option she says i'm either going to give you the belt
or you can dance
so the kid is crying because he's scared and he's sitting there doing this half-assed
like dancing while he's crying and everybody thinks it's funny it's like this
fucking kid has to go to school
not to mention you shouldn't hit a kid with a belt there's like so many fucking
things that are wrong with it
um
i don't know so yeah i don't
i don't like and i think you know
your instincts that you're that mad that you
you i can feel the anger that you have towards it yeah
like you shouldn't do that i imagine with your level of anger like some shit
was done to you
um
as was done to me and i think you go one of two ways you either repeat it
slash try to take it to the next level or
you just go back to like oh i remember what that felt like
yeah i'm not doing that why would i do that
um but you know there's a lot of morons that um
you know you don't have to be smart to know how to fuck that's the thing
if they just made it like something like uh like if it was as difficult
as getting like a degree in something
i think the world would be a better place but anybody can be like
oh my dick's standing up i want to stick it in there
next thing you know you have a fucking kid you're throwing cheese at it and you're
filming it
um
i don't know i it's i wouldn't do it
we'll see we'll see what the fallout is but my kid's not going to be part of
that fucking experiment