Name: Bill Burr - FMTV | Advice: High School Sweetheart Reaches Out
Uploaded: 2021-04-16T11:00:08.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - FMTV | Advice: High School Sweetheart Reaches Out' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-04-16. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - FMTV | Advice: High School Sweetheart Reaches Out' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-04-16. Transcript available.

high school sweetie reached out to me oh jesus dear bill long time listener of
the podcast seen
all your specials look forward to season four of f's for f's for family i am 22
and have been
listening to the podcast for the last five years tremendous uh the other day i
literally put myself
in in i put you in my shoes like if all of a sudden if you were 50 and your
high school
sweetheart reached out to you how weird that would be because both of you would
be married or
divorced it would be crazy um anyways i am 22 and i've been listening to the
podcast for the last
five years the other day my high school sweetie texted me out of the blue
explaining that i was
on her mind and she couldn't hold back her feelings of curiosity so she texted
me well that was smart
that's what she should do you're young this is all this is all above board no
no biden no biden
um no side boo i now live in a different city have a new girlfriend and my ex
and i
haven't spoken in over a year oh so you only broke up with her a year ago i
thought you haven't talked
to her since high school okay in the past she has reached out to me when she's
having difficulties in
her current relationship and in my opinion would text me to test the waters to
see if i was ready to get
together with her and of course things would always escalate to the bedroom her
text went on to say
that the next time i was in town we should get together for coffee or something
and quote catch up
uh i was skeptical but played along and agreed wait you have a new girlfriend
here man i don't know
about this but you're young this is what you do i was skeptical but played
along and agreed she then
went on to say that she has the cutest puppy and i just have to meet all right
now she's drawing you
into her house or apartment and i was even more skeptical of her true
intentions jesus you're acting
like the white guy in every fucking horror movie when i was growing up i need
to investigate
i asked her if she still lived with her current boyfriend and she said no it's
complicated
so bill would i just be dumb to actually meet up with her and chat with the
thought that maybe she
actually wants to catch up or should i just stay away reaching out to you
because you've always been
great with advice and relationship which wish you and your family all the best
all right
let me get to the top of this thing here um i now live in a different city and
have a new girlfriend
all right you have a girlfriend dude so you should know you should not be doing
this would you be
cool if your new girlfriend was fucking catching up with her old old boyfriend
who got a new goldfish and wanted her to come by his apartment to check it out
you know what she
wants to do i know my listeners know and you know your dick is taking you over
there buddy you
don't seem like you you didn't mention one time that you still have feelings
for this woman at all
i think it's some fucking throwback pussy that you're going to uh it's not fair
to your new
girlfriend you shouldn't fucking do it unless you still have feelings for this
woman at which point
you should not be in a relationship with this other new girlfriend you should
figure that out but
all is forgiven because you're only 22 years old you know and you have a dick
so these are tough
years as a guy you don't know what the fuck to do so no i would not go i i
would you know
if i could go back and talk to the 22 year old me i would say don't do shit
like this
um especially now
okay where you have social media and all that and there's nothing preventing
her after you hook up
with her which you know you're gonna do there's nothing preventing her from
fucking you know when
she finds that she know you have a girlfriend she probably doesn't and if she
finds out there's
you know you're gonna get caught the whole fucking thing's gonna blow up in
your face you know
and that's gonna be it so i would not do it i wouldn't do it it's not fair to
the girlfriend
that you have but um i don't know you the weird thing about all of this is i
don't think you're
into either one of these women i think you should be single because you have a
new girlfriend you
didn't say that i love that's fucking awesome and blah blah blah blah you didn't
say that and then
you didn't say that you still love your ex um i think you're trying to fuck
both these chicks
is what i'm thinking i i wouldn't do it i wouldn't do it and i would also try
to assess how you feel
about your new girlfriend before you waste her time and break her heart you
might want to be single
is what i'm i'm leaning towards that i don't have enough information here but
that's
i didn't see any sort of uh you know my high school sweetheart i felt like i
could be with her
i thought this was the one i never heard that and i never heard that about the
new one so i'm just
going to keep saying the same thing over and over again so good luck with that
situation sir
um it's a tricky one all right that's the podcast everybody um i'm going to
watch the moto gp and
get caught up in support some sports and try to catch the uh tiger woods
masters at least some
fucking highlights something of it um once again travis roy tickets foundation
tickets go on sale
uh the pre-sale uh the pre-sale is this freaking wednesday and thursday i'm
going to tweet tweet uh
sorry tweet the link instagram it and all of that shit facebook it and uh
please come down it's going
to be a great great night a stand up for um a great foundation and uh that's it
go fuck yourselves
and I'll check in on you on Thursday.