Name: Bill Burr | Heaven & Hell
Uploaded: 2021-04-21T11:00:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr | Heaven & Hell' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-04-21. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr | Heaven & Hell' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-04-21. Transcript available.

i had a freaking great i had a great day a great day yesterday um i was uh it
first of all it was
the perfect day out here and i was just thinking wouldn't it be great if every
day was like this
then i realized if every day was like that then it'd just be like you know you'd
get bored
you'd be praying for an earthquake or uh or a rainstorm which is why heaven the
concept of
heaven has never made sense to me just every day is just amazing ever forever
you just walk around
happy all the time there's the way human beings are your brain would just level
off
you know like when you're in them clouds you don't know which way you're going
the equilibrium tells
you upright when you ain't right you would be sitting there just thinking like
after a while
like you know and it's great it's great yeah it's great it's fucking heaven it's
amazing
fucking month in ah and i tell you it's every day every day it's gonna be like
this everybody's gonna
have their eyebrows up just walking around like oh my god this is so fucking
great um
jeez that's a scary thought because the whole concept then when you start
thinking about that
the whole concept of forever is just like it just it it seems worse than this
shit
because no matter what the you're going through in this life it's gonna end
at least it's gonna there is an ending to the movie
don't take that ending um
hardcore mash fans know why i just sang that theme song um you know that there's
a fucking ending
um but with that shit there's like no ending but then if you went to hell oh
you're gonna burn me
again well you know yeah hell elbow hell for some reason hell like i can
picture that better
i don't know what that says about me i can picture just being tortured for the
rest forever
i don't know i just can't imagine just hanging out you know i'll say what you
want about hell i bet
there's a lot of funny bastards down there um making fun of the way you scream
when you're in fire versus
the the ball breaking would start and then the devil would get mad hey i said
no down here oh dad's home
what are you gonna do send me to hell again you fucking red cunt um
hey man like why can't we all just sort of you know clean up down here and just
realize we all
fucked up on earth and uh let's just make the best out of it can you imagine
that can you imagine if
you unionized hell down there and everybody just thought all right i don't know
but then you'd have
like rapists and pedophiles down there you'd have to watch out for that's a
stupid idea that'd be like
if you could somehow get everybody in a jail if you were in prison to all of a
sudden just be cool to
each other make everything else go away you can't do it that'd be like uh get
in the middle east
everybody to settle down that'd be like getting the corporations to actually do
something right for
the people rather than their own fucking wallets hey it'd be like the nfl
taking responsibility for
the help of the players