Name: Bill Burr Thinks He Was in a Porno
Uploaded: 2021-05-26T11:00:19.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr Thinks He Was in a Porno' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-05-26. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr Thinks He Was in a Porno' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-05-26. Transcript available.

i think i was in a porno i really thought about what i was talking about the
other day i think
i'm in the opening the cold open to a porno all right and i want you guys to
find it
here's the deal i was driving my car up on mulholland i'm telling this story
again in
case you missed the last episode and i came around the corner and there was two
chicks
wearing next to nothing oiled up walking a dog down the street i mean they were
basically naked
right and i was like what the fuck i immediately thought it was like a prank
show
um and the more i thought it i was like that they were stealing a shot stealing
a shot means you
don't have a permit to shoot so they probably just pulled up and said okay you
know we're gonna do
like a drone thing or something or somebody was shooting it from somewhere and
they just had
i'm walking down the street so if you see a porno and it starts off it was a
black chick and either a
latin latin chick or an italian chick or something like that and i'm on the
same side of the street
it's a green jaguar and if you see some bald freckled guy like oh god like what
the fuck is that
that's me and i want credit that i'm in that fucking video um so there you go
see now back in the day
you know there was a thing where i don't i don't know if it ever worked but you
always heard these
stories of how these beautiful women got discovered like you know uh this or
like even like guys like i
remember that that kid from the terminator we saw him in a mall casting
directors saw him in a mall
we're like oh let's make this person famous and you know possibly fuck up their
life you know their
lives right and there was always these stories about like um i wasn't even in
show business i was just
pretty and they noticed me right so people were like you know it's not the way
it is now where the
kardashians showed you what you have to do is fucking blow somebody on camera
and then you'll be a
billionaire right that that that option didn't exist back then all right you
were either a commercial
actor a tv actor a movie star or you were in porn you couldn't just jump all
around like these free
agents in the fucking nba going where's the best deal for me right so there was
this thing out here
where women would go dress hot because they knew that fucking agents were down
there and managers and
shit right and then the managers would go down there dude you gotta go down
there there's a bunch of hot
chicks right and they when they would go down there and then then it was that
weird dance right the weird
dance like i want to rep you slash fuck you i want to be represented but i don't
want to fuck you there
was this whole fucking game that was going on so back in the day if i saw that
like when i lived out
here in the 90s i would have been like if i saw that i would be like oh well
they're going extra hard
trying to get a fucking agent um or a manager but now it's like well they could
just do that
on instagram from the safety of their own home start their own brand and not
have a manager or an agent
and just be like you know like oh yeah here's my titties you like these yeah
you fucking like them
you know whatever the fuck they do and make fucking a whole bunch of money and
become like an
influencer all right there's no reason to do that anymore unless they didn't
pay their cable bill
but even then they'll their cell phone bill i don't know i'm convinced it was a
porno i have no idea