Name: Bill Burr | Bill Goes Off: Passive-Aggressive People
Uploaded: 2021-06-02T22:30:19.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr | Bill Goes Off: Passive-Aggressive People' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-06-02. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr | Bill Goes Off: Passive-Aggressive People' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-06-02. Transcript available.

hey what's going on it's bill burrow and it's time for the monday morning
podcast for monday
uh may 31st flying through this year 2021 what's going on how are ya how's it
going i hope you're
good i hope you're doing well and all of that shit i'm doing pretty good here
um
that's oh man i something happened to me this fucking morning that i swear to
god man
back in the day all right meaning about fucking six months ago oh i would have
carried this one
oh i would have carried this one this if there's one thing i cannot fucking
stand it's a passive
aggressive cunt and you know what sucks is for some reason when i'm on stage if
someone tries and pull
that tries to pull that shit or play the victim or whatever i don't know what
it is i'm fucking locked
in and very rarely does it get past me but the second i get off stage i am defy
i mean you just
all day long i'm a day late and a dollar short by the time i figure out wait a
minute that person was
being a fucking asshole i fucking i gotta get better at that shit listen to
this right
so um i'm hanging out with my daughter we're having a great time we're riding
bikes and all
that type of stuff and she goes hey can you take me to this park and this park
she likes
it's you know it's a ways away we went there the other day there was a bunch of
traffic yada yada yada
so i go hey why don't we go you know if we're gonna drive that far you know let's
go over to this other
place right it has these fucking rides and all of this shit right so like an
idiot i forgot that it
was sunday and i also forgot that it was memorial day weekend so i go over
there and anybody with the
kid is just there and there just to the ticket booth is like a fucking it looks
like an hour long line
right hour and a half long hour hour and a half right and you know but you know
once the kid sees
the ride it's it's fucking over you can't be like you know you can't be like oh
you know the lines are
too long we're gonna come back tomorrow the next day they're not having it so i'm
like all right here
you know one of these dad things all right so i stand in this fucking line and
we're standing there
standing there standing there standing there finally get the fucking tickets
then you get the tickets and
then you're standing there standing there all of this shit um finally got to go
on some rides and
stuff like that or whatever we have a good time i get i get a little fucking
snow cone and we're walking
back to the car as we go to get to the car there's this couple just rushing i
mean like they robbed a
bank they put their bicycles on top of the car or whatever they had the doors
open they're glancing
at me and they're right next to my car all right so i open up you know the kid's
seat you're supposed
to have the kid's seat on the same side you drive because they say god forbid
somebody comes at you
there's a tendency to save yourself just instinctually and you don't want to
turn the car broadside and
have them t-bone your kid so you want your kid to be with you getting the fuck
out of the way so
you know i see the woman sort of clock me trying to get in there and she's you
know doing her shit
right um they close up they're really like rushing to get the fuck out of there
right so
i'm like all right whatever you know and i open the door and i'm putting my kid
in and the guy
walks by me he goes we're about to leave he looks at me goes we're about to
leave you know as i'm
opening the door fucking face all red sweaty cunt right and i fucking i'm
thinking like all right so i
close the door you know so they can get past and i got in the other side of the
car to like strap her
into the thing and they're like backing up he sort of looks at me you know of
course he's not driving
his wife is fucking pussy right and they drive away and then it just hits me
like we're about to leave
the fuck does that mean i'm about to put my kid in the car you fucking cunt we're
about to leave what
the fuck does that mean right so now i'm fucking driving the car
i don't give a fuck you're about to leave what the fuck is we're about to leave
somebody for fucking for the love of god explain to me what the fuck we're
about to leave means
that means don't open the fucking door i want to back out i don't want to
fucking wait for you
because i got shit to do
right
old stupid freckles figures this out after he gets out of the way like i work
for the guy
oh god you ever watch sports and the guy you know he really he really wishes he
could have that one
back once you guys write me in to moments like this you wish you could have it
back what you did
or what you said and what you wished you did and what you wish you said because
this is what i wished
i didn't wish i what i wished i said oh jesus
we're about to leave i i wish i wish i said yeah i'm about to put my kid in the
car
what are you telling what am i what am i supposed to be documenting what you're
about to do
with your red sweaty face why don't you sit down before you
off see i can't say because my kid was there this is what i'd say my kid wasn't
there
you know my kid couldn't hear if he had the fucking earmuts like vince vaughn
and fucking uh
old school we're about to leave yeah i'm about to put my kid in the fucking car
all right you sweaty cunt why don't you get in your fucking car and shut the
fuck up and when i'm done
you fucking back up oh god that fucking pissed me off after after but in the
moment what did i do
okay like close the fucking door and i got around he fucking gives me a look as
he fuck he's giving me
a look oh jesus christ that fucking pissed me off and here's the thing but here's
the fucking thing
okay if i said what the fuck i wanted to say
oh really what my temper makes me say because he reminds me of people from my
childhood that's what's
really going on there what i what i if i said well whatever i'm gonna put my
kid in the car you sweaty
fucking cunt then everybody looking at me is like i can't believe the guy just
snapped like that he just
said that in front of his kid and then i'm the fucking asshole right and that's
what i hate about
passive-aggressive people
we're about to leave we're about to leave and he's watching me put a child in
the car and he's such a
selfish cunt he doesn't give a fuck he doesn't want to deal with me opening the
door and them having to
slowly back out of the fucking space
dude you should have seen them rushing out of there it was like the they found
out you know they've been
stealing money and the feds were about to get to their house they were trying
to beat them there
so they could start shredding documents
so i guess empathetically maybe they had somewhere to be i don't know
but there was no please
hey sorry man we're about to leave is there we just like back i know you put
your kid in i'm really sorry
it's just we're late just something like that we're about to leave
what the fuck is wrong with me that that's all he needed to say to me and i
turned into like his fucking servant