Name: Bill Burr | Girlfriend Doesn't Want To Go On A Trip
Uploaded: 2021-07-07T11:00:01.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr | Girlfriend Doesn't Want To Go On A Trip' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-07-07. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr | Girlfriend Doesn't Want To Go On A Trip' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-07-07. Transcript available.

All right, girlfriend pissed at me for her selfishness.
Oh, Jesus.
Dear Billy, Gina Comastia.
Look it up.
All right, I'll look it up.
There's some doctor laughing right now.
Gina Comastia is a condition of over-dell.
Oh, my God.
You intellectual cunt, you.
It's a condition of over-development or enlargement of the breast tissue in men
or boys.
The breasts become larger.
They may grow unevenly.
Often happens when a preteen or teenage boy is going through hormonal changes
or puberty.
Oh, that's fucking terrible.
Somebody have to go through that.
All right.
Now you know what?
I fucking lost my questions.
Where the fuck are they?
Now I have to click on every window.
All right.
Girl, okay.
Okay.
So you just called Billy, Billy Fat Tits.
You know, Gina Comastia.
All right.
I recently got into an argument with my girlfriend over a vacation pitch I made.
We've been dating for over a year and are both medical students.
Look at you guys.
Rolling in the dough.
But do you have time to see anyway?
You see each other?
And want to practice in Montana or Colorado when we finish school.
I asked her if she wanted to go on a week-long vacation to Colorado this winter
in order to see what it's like.
She's been twice before and I've never been.
She replies with, well, you don't like skiing as much as I do.
And if we're not going to be skiing every day, then I don't think it's worth
the money for me to go.
She's also rich as fuck, so money is not an issue.
I told her we can go skiing three out of five days.
We're there, but there's plenty more to do besides that, like breweries, snowshoeing,
snowmobiles, etc.
Well, that sounds fun.
You go to the brewery, right?
Then you go snowshoeing, hammered.
You fucking, you know, work off the booze, wait.
Then you get on a snowmobile and you ride home.
Anyways, he goes, silly me for thinking that being a compromising person was a
good idea
because she hit me with, that's not something I want to do, so I'm not going.
So I replied, okay, sorry I even asked.
She proceeded to say, no need to have an attitude.
Buddy, I'm going to stop right here and remind you of how many women out there
would love to be married to a doctor.
This chick is, the way you're, I mean, granted, this is just your side of the
story.
This chick is a fucking nightmare.
Anyway, and I would like to revoke her medical license
because she's too fucking up her own ass and she's going to be taking care of
people.
Anyway, all a medical degree is going to do to this person is make her even
more arrogant.
Anyway, and then when I tried to change the subject to something else,
she got mad at me saying that I shouldn't be mad at her.
Now she's been ignoring me for two days because I asked her to go on a Colorado
vacation with me
and do multiple activities instead of just, yeah, one thing, the fucking thing
she wants to do.
In the meantime, I've talked to my buddies
and the five of us are going to go instead.
Whoa!
Oh!
Oh, hey, you know what?
You got balls.
I don't get too mad at that.
You're like Christopher right now.
Hey, Tommy, why don't you go fuck yourself?
That's what you just said.
That's exactly what you need to do with a fucking woman like that.
Well, go fuck yourself.
I'll go with my friends anyway.
So she can just sit at home and be surprised when my Instagram posts are of me
and the boys
having cold ones in Boulder.
Love the podcast and can't wait to see you in Atlanta in October.
Ah!
Is there anything better than self-esteem?
And before I get trashed by the women out here, is if a guy did that to you,
that's exactly
what the fuck you should do.
This is how you set up a healthy fucking relationship.
Okay?
You made a suggestion.
She said she didn't want to do it because of this, this, and this.
You offered a compromise.
Not only did she not want to do it, she acted like a fucking child.
So what did you do?
Did you sit there and be hostage to her fucking own goddamn emotions?
You said, no, fuck it.
And you're going to go anyway.
And you know what that's going to do?
That's going to make her either grow the fuck up or break up with you, which is
perfect.
She's either going to become an adult and realize that she was in the fucking
wrong and
needs to not be such a fucking baby, or she's going to leave you and you can go
find somebody,
a woman that is an adult.
Who doesn't want to go to Colorado?
I want to go to Colorado and go to the fucking, that hotel where they shot The
Shining.
I didn't realize it was only an hour and a half northwest of Denver.
I want to go check that thing out.
Stand outside of it and just yell,
- Wendy!