Name: Bill Burr | Drugged Up Guy Tries To Sell Bill Gold
Uploaded: 2021-07-23T11:00:02.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr | Drugged Up Guy Tries To Sell Bill Gold' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-07-23. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr | Drugged Up Guy Tries To Sell Bill Gold' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-07-23. Transcript available.

let's get back to the drugged up guy who approached me after the show shall we
people
let's get back to the drugged up guy um so i did the supernova show great
fucking show great people
people who run the show they know what the fuck they're doing uh it's just it's
awesome right
so i go down there i do the show i went on last after the great jeff ross
so i fucking run out of there because the crowd's coming out and where i parked
my car was right
where the crowd was coming out so i couldn't like run over anybody because you
know i know what the
headline's going to be the next day it's going to have the comedy and tragedy
fucking picture
first he makes you laugh then he runs you over um so i'm sitting in my car
nobody can see me it's
nighttime but this guy's on coke so they have like fucking terminator vision i
use that a corner
he fucking comes up to my goddamn car he's like hey bill hey bill i'm ignoring
him so i'm like well
if i just let him keep yelling people are going to see me and then i'm going to
track more of this
because all nice people are just going to be like well i don't want to bug him
that's what makes him
nice right so i just go i go what
he goes hey man and he had like a fucking i don't know if it's a hawaiian shirt
and it was some crazy
pattern shirt cargo shorts he's on his cell phone and he's sweating so i'm like
this isn't going to be
good i go what and he goes he goes hey i'm on fox like five times a week he
goes you want to buy gold
you're interested in buying gold it's in a parking lot i just go no
he's like all right man all right he just walks away and i put the fucking
window up and i'm like
why was he sweating so much i'm like putting it together
you mean somebody come up to you sweaty saying i sell gold it's like dude you
look like you stole it
you sell it what in a parking lot
did you rob some fucking old people after you killed them what what do we do
what are we doing
here so finally there's a break in the crowd and i inch my way up not because i'm
courteous i don't
want to get sued so i inch my way out and i'm fucking driving out of the
parking lot and of course
you know the thing about crazy people is there's always a sequel you never just
you're never rid of
them they're coming back again right so i'm pulling out of the parking lot and
there he is pacing back
and forth right on the exit on his fucking phone and what's hilarious is there's
a person trying to
drive into the parking lot and he walks perpendicular right in front of their
car never looks at him as
he's on the phone and just holds his hand out like he's a fucking traffic cop
telling him to stop
so he's on his phone so for half a second i have hope that he's not going to
see me again i'm like
but he's gonna because he's crazy and he's fucking coked up he's got the terminator
vision so of course
as i'm pulling out he's then fucking he sees me i just yeah just bill hey bill
bill
he goes i just made a half a million dollars said something like that just made
a half a million
bill and i just look over and i just go shut up
i drove away
and because i let go of a lot of anger i was only annoyed
till about halfway down the block which is really great progress for me
and i just started laughing just going like am i really gonna let this guy ruin
my night
i'm on my way over to the comedy store my favorite place to perform in the
fucking world
and i you know i'm driving and i just drove over there and i just i don't know
i just kind
of let the whole fucking thing go but you know you guys listen every week i got
to share the story with you
uh just made a half a million dollars how fucking hilarious is that
um shout out to fox news because i trashed cnn all of a sudden they carry it i
didn't even listen to
it they left out the part where i fucking said that you know both cnn and fox
news should be broken
up and they should go back to rules of media ownership so americans will stop
screaming at
each other and we can actually fucking hang out so you don't have to do blow
and try to sell coke in
in a parking lot of a fucking comedy show.