Name: Bill Burr | School Bans Laughter
Uploaded: 2021-08-11T11:00:12.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr | School Bans Laughter' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-08-11. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr | School Bans Laughter' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-08-11. Transcript available.

laughter band dear billy boo well people gonna call me billy boo who the amount
i'm going off
on fucking cyclists um dear billy boo i like billy boo who dear billy boo who
what are you
bitching about this week on the podcast um i'll tell you what i'm bitching
about is i ever since
i've signed up for watching the red sox online they can't win a fucking game
they just lost
three or four to toronto they lost two or three to the tigers they got swept by
tampa and i'll tell
you the schedule doesn't get any easier we got tampa coming up we're now in
second place
oh yeah yeah yeah yeah um but what's his face sale is uh rehabbing i think he
had a start last night
in triple a or something like that when he gets back he'll be able to help us
stop the skip we'll
get it going again hey better to have this kid now than in october doesn't
everybody make the
playoffs now playoffs uh dear billy boo a few months ago a reader wrote into
the podcast about
censorship and some crazy stuff that was happening at their kid's school last
week i got a letter from
my kid's school it was basically an outline of what kids and parents should
expect going into the new
school year all right tucked away in the middle of the covid protocol and
exciting school activities
was some new guidelines on joke making
it essentially says that kids are not to make any jokes and parents should
instruct children not to
provoke laughter oh my god do you see what happens do you see what happens when
unfunny people get a voice
on social media wow they're gonna get rid of class clowns i thought that this
was maybe some bullying
related stuff and wrote it off later in the week i ran to my neighbor who has a
kid in the same school
school system he's a real nice guy and loaded and does a lot of volunteering in
town i.e organizing leagues
and raising money for families who need help real salt of the earth he tells me
that he ran into the
principal at a recent outdoor event and asked about the bullying clause in the
email specifically if this
was provoked by any serious bullying of a child the principal proceeded to tell
him that laughter had
nothing to do with education and jokes of all types were offensive
this sounds like a bad movie my neighbor asked if knock-knock jokes were okay
and he said absolutely
not he he went even further to say that teachers were instructed to discipline
any child
who was laughing or being silly
this is great i mean they are they are creating the incubator for the next
generation
of comedians possibly the greatest comedians of all time
um i had a hard time believing this so i did some something i've never done nor
thought i'd ever do
i called the school and talked to the principal i had to know for myself
this sounds like clickbait after a few questions about what prompted the no
jokes allowed policy
he accused me of being an educational detractor who was promoting archaic
tendencies in my own children
what was your response oh big words i wear a tie uh because he said this to him
he said because i said
that laughter is an important part of life even then quickly chain he then
quickly changed the subject
and asked what my political affiliation was i said what oh in a high screeching
voice what
like you would say playoffs he responded to my what by saying he had the
ability to contact child services
if he felt any child was in danger of mental abuse
wow yeah this guy's handling his position of power really well needless to say
my blood was boiling and i hung up the phone
i have a few ideas about how to handle this i don't want to stir things up
but also it seems unwise to let someone threaten me with child services and
call me archaic
for wanting my son to be able to laugh and not be a drone while in school how
would you handle this
um
all right i don't want to handle this uh
i don't know how do you handle this
how how how do you do this now with like all of these fucking people out there
that just
ruin all of this shit i don't know
i mean you can't
get your kid kicked out of school
i mean this sounds like a great clickbait piece
for uh a newspaper or something but that always seems like a bitchy move to me
to just
fucking rat somebody out like that um
i don't know you know what i would actually do i think i might go above the guy's
head
and just say that i was simply i think you have somebody who's wildly out of
control with his own
power i simply asked what you know why my kid couldn't laugh in school and he
threatened to call
child protective services first of all dude i i wouldn't i mean it's the only
thing that should
make you mad is the threat of that that he actually is just threatening you but
what are they gonna do
they're not gonna do anything they can't take your kids away because you
questioned why my son can't
laugh at school he's gonna have no bruises or anything like that
but it's that's that is a full-on fucking crazy person
is this real are you are you just trolling me i can't believe this is true
if this is if this is a joke that is really well written i gotta look it up all
right i'm
tell you i'm you fished me i'm not fucking taking the bait here laughter ban in
schools
speech code of the month drexel university's harassment policy bans inconsiderate
jokes
and inappropriate inappropriate inappropriate jesus christ i'm done inappropriately
directed laughter
wow
wow
mom i got suspended for three days for inappropriately directed laughter
but where were you directing this inappropriate laughter i don't know i turned
my head in the
face of the janitor i was looking away from the fat kid and it turns out he was
missing a leg
i was i was trapped in a triangle um
to janica laughter epidemic
what is this
tanganica laughter epidemic of 1962 was an outbreak of mass hysteria i'm on wikipedia
now
or mass psychogenic illness rumored to have occurred in or near the village
of kashasha nothing i've read in the last 20 minutes has seemed real on the
western coats
of lake vittoria in tagganica which was once united with zanzibar this is none
of this is true
became the modern nation of tanzia near the border of uganda
history the laughter epidemic of what do they have rabies on january 31st 1962
at a mission
run boarding school for girls in kashasha it started with three girls and
spread throughout the school
the school affected 95 of 159 pupils other is the laughter epidemic obviously a
slang for whatever
disease they had symptoms lasted from a few hours to 16 days the teaching staff
were unaffected and
reported that students were unable to concentrate on their lessons the schools
closed on march 18th
the epidemic spread to somewhere else the village where several women lived
mostly young villagers had
laughing attacks
all right what happened did somebody light a giant
fucking bong and the cloud went over the over the this
true or false here we go laughing epidemic true or false
it was no joke the 1962 laughter epidemic was no joke according to
some stupid website the chicago tribune
oh jesus christ i i this is the internet i i don't believe anything on the
internet anymore
i just i just don't i just i'm not gonna sit here wasting my time looking up
the laughter epidemic did it happen did it not happen um what would i do with
that guy um
well in a perfect world you could walk up to him
and be like hey fatso whatever the he looks like hey baldy
you know i would i would approach the guy just like you know something you
threatened to call child
services you know i i gotta be honest with you dude i i i never do this i would
go above that guy's head
and i would i would file a complaint and what's the worst that's going to
happen your kid can't
go to that school this guy
this guy if this is actually real that guy i would go above the guy's head
and just say you know in a very calm way
you know i mean that person should not have that job nor should they ever have
any power
um i'm trying to think what happened to that person
as a kid you know what i mean had man boobs it was shirts and skins and gym
class and they made
him take his shirt off some sort of uh what was that that that movie where they
dumped the blood
over the uh the prom queen carry this guy had some carry happen to him
so now your kid can't have any joy um yeah i would go over his head that's what
the i would do
i would i would not tolerate that um
oh man that reminds me of a landlord of mine that helped break into my
apartment when i was on the road
they they were checking the smoke detectors and i was on the road for three
weeks so they had
evidently the right to go into my apartment to make sure that there was no uh
you know there was
nothing wrong with this you know smoke detectors working because if they weren't
there was a fire that
could affect the whole building so under that they came in and uh i remember i
came to my apartment
i just felt like something was wrong because it was a notice but i just felt
and i just started looking around
and uh they had stolen a camera they had picked through my cds they just took
some knick-knack
and i went downstairs and told the guy and the guy immediately goes you know i
don't appreciate you
coming down here accusing my staff that he immediately got defensive and i was
just like
you idiot now i know you did it but there was really nothing i could do i
called the cops and they
said well unless you have like you know they dusted for fingerprints or
whatever they there's nothing they
could do and uh so i just stood down there in front of the office just told a
few people not to rent from
there that's all i had i was like dude i'm a comedian i can do this all day and
the reality was i had to go
on the road the next day so my you to them was i changed the locks and then i
moved out
i moved out and then left the real lock in the middle of the apartment but then
years
late i realized well when they couldn't get in they just called the locksmith
so the locksmith
what i basically did was i gave a locksmith some money i cost them that money
and they never gave
me my uh security deposit back or anything there just was a crooked place well
that takes me to a bad place all right let's plow ahead