Name: Bill Burr | Listener Thinks Bill's Fear Of Sharks Is Ridiculous
Uploaded: 2021-08-25T11:00:01.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr | Listener Thinks Bill's Fear Of Sharks Is Ridiculous' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-08-25. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr | Listener Thinks Bill's Fear Of Sharks Is Ridiculous' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-08-25. Transcript available.

sharks and helicopters deer spotted scrotum scalp jesus christ
going for marrow on that one uh i'm a huge fan jesus are you and a gen and
generally agree with
your point of view but your most your recent rant about shark attacks is
absolutely ridiculous
first of all i hate to be well first of all okay you insult which i think i
have a beautiful head
i'm standing by that i have a beautiful head i take care of it i lotion it up i
laser off anything
and it's unsightly you know i keep it fucking i keep it you know i keep it
shaved nice and smooth
all right so fuck yourself on that one then you tell me you're a huge fan of
mine so you draw me
back in this is an abusive relationship okay you say something that if i wasn't
such a strong person
it didn't have a little bit of apache blood me i would have started crying okay
but i shook that
off then you fucking draw me back in by saying i'm you're a huge fan and then
you then then your
very next it wasn't even the same sentence dot dot dot you tell me i don't know
what the fuck i'm
talking about well i have to tell you is the social justice warrior who's
trying to live his best life
you're probably right i have a ridiculous fear of sharks i do i know it is i
know it's ridiculous
all right first of all i hate the beach i hate the sand the sun the seaweed the
stupid fucking jellyfish
i hate the goddamn winter and all the dumbass people who waste their days there
the water sorry i hate the goddamn water i was like jesus you're jumping
seasons here i hate the
goddamn water and all the dumbass people waste their days there but i'm sure as
shit not afraid
of sharks all right well it doesn't sound like you go anywhere near them your
whole bit about
being attacked by a shark is no different than some cunt crying about the
dangers of helicopters
uh there there's way more helicopter crashes per year than shark attacks by the
way
okay fair enough i've never understood doing that
going from one variable to another because it isn't just as simple as that
i would say there's way more people now there isn't way more people flying
helicopters
you know what maybe that's a good one
maybe that is a good one i have no idea but all i know is the helicopter is not
trying to kill me
i kind of have to put in some work to make it kill me but i guess sharks the
same way if you have a
phobia of sharks then man up and own that shit admit it's an irrational and own
the phobia stop making
excuses you sound like a like a little bitch love the podcast and go fuck
yourself listen i don't know
what me being afraid of sharks just fucking triggered and you but i i don't
like what the
fuck was that what are you some fucking football coach from the 70s i've always
said that i'm
fucking terrified of him and there's no fucking way i'm going i'm allowed to
have a fear
all right you know what you sound like you sound like somebody needs to go home
and go hug his dad
go fuck yourself fucking cunt i fly helicopters all right i got the balls to do
that but just because
you got the balls to do that doesn't mean i go fucking cave diving
i like swimming i like to i like the same way i fly is the same way i swim i
try to minimize
the risk i try to put the odds in my favor that's what i do okay that's just
what i do there's some
people if they're gonna deep fry a turkey they're gonna do it on their deck
they're gonna do it on their
wooden deck and they're gonna just yeah you know i could fucking you know i don't
think anybody's
gonna tip it over and they take that risk and there's other people they do it
in the driveway
with the fire extinguisher there that that's how i am that's how i am okay and
uh
what is stop making excuses that all that whole thing fascinated that took me
way back in my life
you have a phobia of sharks then man up and own that i i feel like i am by
saying how much i have it
uh how afraid i am in the ocean i literally say i'm terrified of the ocean i
think i've said that
a thousand times in this pocket admit it's irrational in other words agree with
you
and own the phobia listen it's not irrational the level that i have is is
probably irrational the odds
of it happening okay yes absolutely i'll admit to that but it's not irrational
it's not something to
not be concerned of uh stop making excuses you sound like a little oh well
listen to the tough guy who
never goes to the fucking beach or goes in the goddamn water jesus christ i
wish i was jesus whatever
all right god bless you sir i agree with everything you say i will try to be
less of a bitch there we go