Name: Bill Burr - FMTV | Boyfriend Only Talks About Working Out
Uploaded: 2021-08-27T11:00:12.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - FMTV | Boyfriend Only Talks About Working Out' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-08-27. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - FMTV | Boyfriend Only Talks About Working Out' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-08-27. Transcript available.

boyfriend is all talk oh boy here we go oh here we go here we go oh jesus um
hey billy hey billy for ladies ladies i just realized my boyfriend is all talk
he talks about how funny he is all the time but the only people that laugh at
his jokes are his
friends he said he could have been on snl if he had the right surroundings as a
child what the
fuck does that even mean uh probably a worse childhood than he had i would
think i think he's
charming but i have harder laughs with strangers when i'm out doing errands oh
my god please don't
ever tell him this um when i tell him he looks unhealthy he tells me it's
because he has a beard
now and it's all in my head he was in good shape when we met but he's put on 20
pounds in the first
two years after college all right he doesn't make you laugh you don't like his
beard you think he
looks unhealthy are you just going to criticize your way out of this fucking
relationship like
what's going on she goes it's not the stupid looking beard oh she goes he put
on 20 pounds in the
in the first two years after college it's not the stupid beard sorry i actually
fucked up your
perfectly written joke there um he says he's in great shape but he's not he
gets tired playing with
my nephew after like 10 minutes dude you should be a fucking comedian you're
destroying this guy
uh and has never made any effort to work out despite the fact that he says he
wants to
and quote will someday when his schedule allows it i work a full-time job and
still make time
to do pilates four days a week which requires me to wake up at 5 a.m yeah you're
basically an astronaut
and you're you're dating somebody who watched the lunar landing that's
essentially what you're doing
here okay so anyways she goes i know i'm gonna break up with them yeah i think
all my entire podcast
fan base knows you're gonna break up with them anyways i just feel bad because
he didn't do anything
wrong it's just that we're way too different and it's becoming more apparent as
time goes by it's as
simple as that well you know something congratulations to you for realizing
that she goes i want to be honest
with him and tell him he's full of shit don't need to do that will that help
him in the future to have
heard the truth or will it make things worse no just say the first half you don't
have to say i'm
breaking up with you because you're full of shit because he's gonna be like how
am i full of shit
you're gonna be like well first of all you say you're funny and you're not okay
your fucking friends
laugh but that's just because they got the uh what are the patsy klein syndrome
what they call it
patty hearse syndrome i don't know what the fuck it is you got him held captive
you say you're in
shape you're not you say you look sickly because of your fucking beard it isn't
it's because you
gained 20 pounds this is what you're gonna do this guy you're already gonna
fucking crush the guy if
he's in love with you um i think he just you said look you know you're gonna
break i i just feel bad
because he didn't do anything wrong just tell him look you didn't do anything
wrong i just need more
and i have to go figure out what that is something there's always the easy
escape hatch you can
fucking pull um but it's that's such a huge fucking thing to know that you're
not getting what you
want and to know and to be strong enough to get out of it rather than settling
with some
fucking mushy bearded guy who doesn't make you laugh congratulations to you and
don't be mean
okay just fucking lay it out there the first half you can leave that other
shit that's the other shit you tell your fucking girlfriends or some shit all
right all right