Name: Bill Burr - FMTV | "Size" Insecurity
Uploaded: 2021-09-04T11:00:22.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - FMTV | "Size" Insecurity' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-09-04. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - FMTV | "Size" Insecurity' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-09-04. Transcript available.

all right insecurity all right let's see let's see if we can go three for three
bill getting
trashed here hey bill i'm a 20 year old college guy 20 year old guy in college
and in a relationship
with the love of my life congratulations she's perfect for me in every way and
the moment i met
her i knew i was going to make her my wife well there you go uh we have said
that we are each
other's soulmate i'm a crazy person with a lot of insecurities and one in
particular was that i was
a virgin until i met her she was not and always she was not and always said her
last relationship
was nothing but sexual it was embarrassing because i had never had sex with
anyone else
and i felt like a wimp you got a little bit of a late start you're only 20 dude
you're not
the 40 year old virgin and now you're crushing it good for you and not like a
man at all because i
hadn't even kissed a woman before and i always compare myself to her ex in
terms of him as a
boyfriend and in the bedroom even and even if i measure up all right first of
all let that shit go
all right that's all in your head that's not in her head and that's a great way
to talk yourself out of
this great relationship she always tells me i'm the best she's ever had and she
wishes she could take
back wait a second she always tells me i'm the best she ever had and that she
wishes she could take it
back but i still can't get the image out of my head and it doesn't help that i
asked and she told me
that he had a bigger dick oh god
i don't want to drive her away i love her and never want to lose her
i would really appreciate the advice
why do guys ask that question
um love the podcast your stand-up efforts for family can't wait for season four
come out to
uh i'm not gonna say where you're from thank you and go fuck yourself
um
any advice uh yeah i don't know what to do here for you buddy uh you open pandora's
box and that bigger dick flew out
and you're just gonna have to get past it
all right
that's it
you asked
she wishes she could take it back
you know
i don't know here's the thing about women though
all right
they love for different reasons
okay
okay as big as that guy's dick was
that didn't work out
all right
so that's in the fucking past
and you know
i don't know
they fall in i don't women in general fall in love for the right fucking
reasons
okay they don't fall in love with a dick
all right
they fall in love because of the chemistry you have
the stuff that you're doing for
they see that you're going to be a great father and all that type of shit
you're basically crushing it
you're destroying this other guy
other than the size of your dick
i mean he's got you beat in that area
okay
but there's a lot of times a team is more talented on paper
and then the other team because they play as a team wins
so you just got to look at yourself like that
all right
you're the underdog here
and you're going to somehow
come away with the victory
and they're going to give
they're going to make a 30 for 30
about you
i don't know
i don't know what to do
like i never
i never had a problem with that shit
to be honest with you
so i have a little difficulty like
you know
i mean she's probably also been with a guy that had a smaller dick
i mean you're somewhere in the middle
you got a regular dick
there's nothing wrong with that
there's nothing wrong with a mid-sized car
you know
there's nothing wrong with that
all right
i gotta be honest with you
that would not bother me
okay
having a bigger dick
all right
he's jackhammering away
and all that shit
the thing about guys with bigger dicks
is a lot of times
that that you know
that's all they can do
they got the big fucking dick
and they just sort of bang away
all right
but there's all other levels
that you can bring
there's all different
you know
okay he's going blake griffin
he's just dunking on people
you can have a turnaround jumper
you can fucking
you can have a good transition game
you can play good defense
you can go downtown
you know
you can up your fucking game
you know
there's role playing
there's all kinds of shit
you can do
shit that she maybe didn't do
with this other guy
but no matter what
you're just gonna have to take
that fucking loss
and this is one of the hardest things
I've ever had to do
no pun intended
to try to talk you out of the fact
that this other guy had a bigger dick
there's nothing you can fucking do about it
who gives a shit
yes he did
all right great
are you funnier
are you a better cook
she loves you
she's the love of your life
there you go
oh here's what you learned
don't ask that fucking question
don't ask a question
that you're not gonna want to hear the answer to
all right
but my advice to you is
do not sabotage
that fucking relationship
over that bullshit
and here's another thing too
do not fucking
mope about it
in front of her
because that's gonna turn her off
all right
and she'll fucking go back
to the big dick guy
all right
I
this is the thing
I wouldn't
don't even bring it up
all right
let that big dick
just roll right off your back
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.