Name: Bill Burr | Bit By A Shark v. Mauled By A Lion
Uploaded: 2021-09-08T11:00:01.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr | Bit By A Shark v. Mauled By A Lion' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-09-08. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr | Bit By A Shark v. Mauled By A Lion' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-09-08. Transcript available.

shark or lion hey there billy the freckled butthole burr i have a question for
you i listened
to your segment on sharks the other day and wants to know if you had to if you
had to choose gundy
ahead being eaten by a shark in the open ocean oh my god or be eaten by a lion
in the bush
oh dude that's the easiest question ever he goes i know either way you're going
to
you're going to get eaten however my thing my thinking is that it would be
better to get mauled
by a lion than a shark at least with the lion you don't have to you don't have
to fight drowning
as well i would like to know what your opinion is on this very important topic
love to stand up in
the podcast well thank you uh keep well and go fuck yourself a south african
fan shout out to south
africa um oh a lion all day long and i am basing that on you know sig free and
roy i think that
was a tiger whatever a big cat dude that thing grabbed him and within two
seconds he went limp
and then that was it i'm not saying i'm happy that happened it was absolutely
horrific whatever but
like you know you're playing with lions and tigers you know eventually
something's gonna happen right
so he just went fucking limp choked out immediately what i love about cats big
fucking cats is they put
they it's over they grab you you're like oh and then they just clamp down and
they choke you out
you ask any mma person they would rather get fucking choked out than knocked
out they don't want to do
you know it's just you know you go to sleep then you woke up oh i lost oh okay
i don't have any
cognitive damage you just go to sleep and you would wake up wherever the fuck
you go or you're just dead
you know if that's what happens like a squirrel you're just dead a shark is
gonna bite you first
you can't fucking see it it's gonna take a bite out of you to see what you
taste like to see if there's
any sort of threat there oh my god then it's gonna pull you under the water as
you're fighting to
breathe and stay above the water not even close and the fucking loneliness of
being out in the middle
of the fucking ocean you oh my god you can just you can take that uh that shark
thing any fucking day
you know i absolutely i would almost if you said would you rather get killed by
a lion
or just bitten by a shark but you're gonna live i know survival i would have to
choose the shark
but just going okay it's gonna happen and they drop you in the water just
waiting
fuck that you know that's why i can't stand bears as much as i love a bear the
fact that they just don't
grab their prey by the neck and put them out of their misery they just fucking
hold them down
like a big dummy you know and just start biting fucking you know i don't it's
terrible i don't
want to get mauled uh i want to get choked out that was an easy one absolutely
fucking easy