Name: Bill Burr - FMTV | Nia Reads A Plantation Tour Review
Uploaded: 2021-09-10T11:00:19.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - FMTV | Nia Reads A Plantation Tour Review' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-09-10. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - FMTV | Nia Reads A Plantation Tour Review' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-09-10. Transcript available.

oh i didn't tell this story so i was out smoking a cigar there's a little park
outside the 72nd
street stop on the upper west side and i was sitting there with a couple
friends of mine
and all of a sudden this gay dude comes walking by dressed like fucking eleanor
roosevelt
whoever herbert hoover married he looked like a first lady from the 1930s is
what i'm saying
with the fucking hat the little hat with the fucking veil over his eyes
so we were sitting there smoking cigars right and he just comes
fucking and he had like a wheelie like luggage and we're sitting there and he
just comes storming
through the middle of us and he goes hey genius your dildo's on fire it just
kept walking and my
first thought was like wow i really miss crazy people in new york and i'm such
a dummy considering
i'm a comedian i didn't get that he was making fun of my cigar like saying that
i had the big dildo in
my mouth and uh i don't know i just wish i knew in the moment i would have been
oh i love a woman
with attitude i would have said something oh you look beautiful sweetheart or
something like but that's
one of those things this is why nia i still make fun of gay people in my act
because they're like
straight people well most of them are assholes that guy's like a fucking
asshole i was smoking outside
i'm in the park there's a fucking homeless guy like two feet away from me you
know i'm paying the price
for my habit not enough for this fucking 80 year old stewardess walking by
right all of a sudden
hey genius your dildo's on fire meow ladies meow okay i'm ready now all right
so this is a review
of a plantation i don't know what plantation but it went viral because someone
posted about it on twitter
but the review says is this a real plantation it's not one like epcot center is
it this is a real
plantation what do you mean epcot center they have the plantation exhibit to
get the southerners to still
go to because epcot's getting a little old okay anyway um they gave this
plantation two stars
my husband and i were extremely disappointed in this tour we didn't come to
hear a lecture on how
white people treated slaves we came to get a history of southern plantation and
get a tour of the house
and grounds the tour guide was so radical about slave treatment we thought we
were being lectured and
bashed about the slavery my ancestors were from sicily never owned slaves and
my husband were german and
none of his ever owned slaves i am by far not a racist or against all americans
having equal rights
but this was my vacation and now we were crossing all plantation tours off our
list it was just not what we
expected i'll go back to louisiana and see some real plantations that are much
more enjoyable to tour
white girl inflection by me i love that i took a tour of a plantation this wasn't
what i expected
i went to auschwitz and it just was not what i expected i like the minimalist
vibe there i thought
it was going to be about the architecture i didn't think it was good i was
never a nazi
i never killed any jews that is like one of the funniest fucking like it's i
almost don't believe
that it's that it's true that somebody like we went to take a tour of a plant
like what other
plantations are you going to go to yeah i don't i don't know like it's it's a
plantation lady like
that that's that's what happened i was joking when she read this it's like i
took a tour of nasa
and it was just not what i expected okay i came there to look at some rockets
not to hear about
people burning up on re-entry for the advancement of humanity okay i just felt
like i was getting a
lecture like they're heroes and i was somehow not brave i'm going to go to a
fun rocket ship place
yeah i yeah i don't know what what this person expected like they were you know
they're telling
you about what happened on plantations so nia for a thousand dollars would you
have lunch with her
and she would just discuss her philosophies on on politics and race relations
for a thousand dollars
uh yeah i mean yeah if i could you know sort of you can't say anything i just
have to listen you have
to nod like like what she's saying is amazing for a thousand dollars no no nia
for twelve hundred fifty
no you get to pick the restaurant my dignity is not for sale five grand my
integrity is not for sale
sixty six hundred no it's not gonna happen everybody has their price no the 10
grand untaxed
and a peck on the cheek from opa winfrey saying you keep it up girl would you
do it no
no no eleven thousand seven hundred dollars
a pair of jimmy choos opa winfrey peck no taxes and an all-expensive paid trip
to the french riviera
monaco for 10 days no just listen to this dumb
bitch she's not gonna get smarter you just have to listen to her for an hour
and like nod in agreement
no like you're watching a fireworks show that's all you have to do
no no no twelve thousand three hundred forty five dollars and eighty eight
cents
a trip to calgary alberta
to watch a home and home game against the flames of the edmonton oilers you get
to go to edmonton for
game two and see the northern lights and all you have to do is not express an
opinion no
that's it nia i'm calling bullshit okay well you can call bullshit but
no the answer is no first of all i don't need your approval
to call bullshit okay this conversation was not what i expected
this was not what i expected oh god
all right well that's 36 minutes right there just for us checking in on you nia
i gotta tell you you
crushed it you did the near impossible you went to new york city and somehow
you know on you know
it's not like we live here right so you're on vacation there's all this great
fucking pizza out
here oh man i had some good pizza one big swing and a miss we will not mention
we won't mention
no we won't mention that but how big a swing and a miss bigger than that woman's
swing and a miss on
the plantation tour um was this the food equivalent no but um it was
for 14 000 final offer no that pizza was that was disappointing but that's okay
it's okay i went to
that place uh doing well so that's that's all that matters good for them i went
to scars i love that
place that place that had the tang that had the zip everyone's talking about
defara that's like as
that's that's the spot is defara uh i thought i thought uh l and b was a little
bit better but
they're both fucking incredible okay they're both you know what they're equally
amazing