Name: Bill Burr | Pool Party Wardrobe Malfunction
Uploaded: 2021-10-13T11:00:26.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr | Pool Party Wardrobe Malfunction' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-10-13. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr | Pool Party Wardrobe Malfunction' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-10-13. Transcript available.

girlfriend's wardrobe malfunction holy shit wardrobe malfunction
um all right billy the bambino of bimbo bashing burr wow how the hell are you i
need some advice
i will do us both a favor and try to keep this short no promises though i too
have been known
to go off my long rats sorry i'm yawning here here's my story my girlfriend i
and i decided to
host a small bbq pool slash pool party oh what could go wrong we figured oh jesus
bikinis oh no
i'm just hoping it's a titty and her clam didn't fall out you know
but you never know did she jump off the diving board and try to touch her toes
fucking spread eagle doing the david lee roth and her fucking a p lip came out
um all right
my girlfriend and i okay we figured it would be the perfect opportunity to get
everyone together again
now that most if not all of us have been vaccinated anyway the bbq is going
great i am in charge of the
my lady who is a truly gorgeous woman woman is doing the rounds mingling
everyone seems to be having a
good time what can go wrong you ask i will tell you bill oh no at one point i
walked over to my girl
to bring her a plate of food she was talking to a good buddy of mine who i've
been friends with for
over 20 years and i had to as i go to hand her the plate lo and behold her bikini
top
has left her left nipple completely unattended
i'm talking janet jackson complete wardrobe malfunction bill very noticeable
impossible to miss
i blurt out something like jesus christ hun put that away at which point she
turns away to deal with
the runaway boob visibly embarrassed yeah he probably shouldn't yell that shit
my buddy pretending that he had
not noticed at all lets out a whoa and turns to look away and cover his eyes
obviously it became
very awkward and uncomfortable but as they say the show must go on yeah now you
got to look at your
buddy like dude you fucking saw the titty there's no way a titty comes out and
a guy doesn't notice
the woman's gorgeous the party continued though i did not have the whole
incident though i did have the
whole instance stewing in the back of my mind after everyone left i spoke to my
girl about it turns out
she'd been talking to my buddy for over 10 minutes and not once did he mention
anything
being a man myself i have to think that he was
able to expertly maintain eye contact
while checking out the full moon version of a nipple slip
with his periphery
all the while uploading the image into his spank bank
oh god
this is what sucks about being a guy
i haven't told her this but i find myself
also upset at her
though i know it does not make any sense and it is probably the result of misdirected
feelings that's
exactly what it is but a piece of me feels it's her responsibility to keep her
tits covered up
well what's funny is if your balls were hanging out she'd be like how the fuck
did you not know your balls were hanging out
um to add
how could she not have noticed that her nipple was basking in the florida sun
i mean i can sense the mildest breeze when i have plumbers cracked on display
i just
choose to ignore it
um
my question to you bill is
should i confront my buddy
well how can you prove how long it was out
you don't know when it came out
how could he not
it's not like he's going to apologize and admit being a douche or
offer to show me his girl's tit
do i just drop it
i don't know bill
the whole thing is just
is not sitting well with me
any advice would be greatly appreciated
go fuck yourself
uh dude i hate to tell you this
you're just gonna have to let it go
it might affect you hanging out with the guy
um
it's just one of those unfortunate things
um
that happens when you know
you're dating a hot chick that's got a fucking racket
a bikini top on
a titty comes out
comes out it was just a titty
you know
just look at it positively
he got to see how lucky you were
i don't know what to tell you
dude sometimes you know what
you just gotta take a loss
you learn more from losing than winning
and you just have to go nuts
to sit here and plot revenge
and fucking hate that guy
you know who gives a fuck
listen
if he goes home
and jerks off
to that titty coming out
he already jerked off
to her anyway
which is kind of funny
because that means
you're living his fantasy
all right
and be honest with yourself
you're gonna sit there
and tell me you never
rubbed one out
to one of the friends
chicks that they would date
and get the fuck out of here
okay
they never bent down
to pick something out
and you didn't check out her ass
you're a guy
okay
it happens
who gives a fuck
it happens
i gotta be honest with you
like i i i would get over that
it would just be like
yeah you know
you know
fucking titty came out
what are you gonna do
all right
it's like clements
back in the day
give up a home run
give me another ball
give me another fucking ball
he didn't give a shit
okay just plowed ahead
did not deal with his emotions
ah god damn it
now i'm starting to get mad
at your friend
whoa
you might have to address the whoa
yeah he's your buddy
he should have said something
and he didn't
ah dude
see look at now
i'm thinking about it
yeah you might have to
kind of cool that relationship
for a minute
and then just wait for him
and be like
hey
what's going on
i don't know
but then he gonna
end it over a titty
i guess it all goes
like how do you feel
about this guy
you know
is most of this
about your ego
oh my woman
my titty
right
is it that
how much do you like
if this guy's like
a real friend of yours
if he's a real friend of yours
he would have fucking
said something
you can't fucking sit there
when your butt
buddy's wife's
or girlfriend's titty's
just hanging out
you gotta say something
although it was a party
he could have been boozed
he could have been
not thinking the right way
you know
it's a fucking
difficult thing man
i mean
it's a pool party
you know
somebody's gonna have
a nip slip
it just fucking happens
you know
yeah
i don't know
dude
you're gonna waste
all of that fucking energy
you know what it is
it's
it's
can't get mad at her
you can't get mad
at the situation
the thing that you can
get mad at
is the phony
whoa
and then covering his eyes
like he's a fucking gentleman
it's just like
am i to believe
that that
am i to believe
that it just happened
you know what
fuck
you gotta say something
to this guy
am i to believe
that the fucking titty
came out right
when i was there
and you didn't notice
until that fucking second
and then you turned away
just be listening dude
all right
i don't buy that
her titty came out
you knew it came out
you didn't fucking
say anything
and that bugs me
i think
yeah you know what
i think you gotta say that
jesus christ
i'm all over the map
but then how do you say it
over the phone
face to face
now you're fighting this guy
i just
you just gotta be prepared
to just have this friendship
end
on that
and then if it ends
on that
every time he sees you
he goes back to that moment
he thinks about your girl's titty
i mean this is
this is a problem
hey man
it's sunday night
i didn't want to think this hard
all right
that's it people
this is that
that is the podcast
for this week
go fuck yourselves
and i will check in on ya
on thursday
Bye.