Name: Bill Burr rants for 8 minutes straight
Uploaded: 2023-04-12T17:00:34.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr rants for 8 minutes straight' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-04-12. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr rants for 8 minutes straight' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-04-12. Transcript available.

hey what's going on it's bill burr and it's time for the thursday afternoon
just before friday
monday morning podcast you know what fuck this fucking podcast i swear to god i
my fucking
stupid ass fucking thing never fucking works for i i gotta record it on my
phone this fucking thing
the computer it says like an echo voice i can't get rid of it and i can't even
forward
the fucking shit that i did so i gotta start all over again i don't have the
fucking time to do it
i just don't i don't i swear to god this fucking technology shit how does it
make your life
easier i literally every fucking thing before you go to bed you gotta fucking
spend 700 on
fucking electricity making sure every fucking thing is charged or you can't
record you can't
fucking do anything look at this fucking shit this isn't even a podcast you're
just listening to me
losing my fucking mind about the nine millionth time and now my fucking laptop
which i only got
a year and a half ago it's already starting to slow down you know it's already
starting to fucking
slow down oh yeah it's obsolete is it you fucking apple cunts
do you think there's ever going to be a time when any sort of politician grows
some fucking balls
and the general population gets their fucking heads out of their asses and they
stop rooting for
republicans and democrats and realize that these fucking stupid ass spineless
fucking politicians
who only give a fuck about whatever golden parachute they're going to get from
the corporate cunt that's
fucking paying them to push whatever agenda they have through the fucking
machine oh i'm on a rant here
do you know somebody just told me why la la la has like the most expensive
fucking real estate
i guess we just surpassed san francisco somehow a city with no fucking water
supply is global warming
is is every fucking is is gonna destroy this place for some reason nobody i
know can afford a fucking house
out here anymore and it's they finally just said there's corporation groups out
here that are just
buying up houses for cash to then turn around and rent them so basically they'll
outbid any normal
fucking person out here so essentially the last part of the american dream
being able to own a house
is gonna go away and these politicians are just gonna sit back and let them
fucking do it because
the same fucking corporation that's buying up all of those houses is gonna
fucking line the pockets of
these fucking piece of shit politicians they're all fucking scumbags every
fucking one of them
unless you know you know you realize a politician isn't a scumbag he's called
this he's immediately
branded a socialist or a communist if he wants to do anything anything for the
people if he wants to
fucking you know take on the bankers and have them be fucking accountable if he
wants to do anything
on that fucking oh this guy's a fucking socialist and all you fucking mouth-breathing
morons believe it
i you know what i really enjoy actually the fact that they shit on communism
and they act like
capitalism is working like capitalism works that we we are we are so fucking
broke
it doesn't even like every august no one pays attention to it all of the
politicians just sit around
going like is this it is this the end of the country and at the last second
they go ah print more money
right and then everything why is it like fucking 9 50 for one slice of bread
i'll tell you why it's because that guy doesn't have on the right colored tie
ah sorry all right i'm done let's get back to bread and circus we'll talk about
how well the
boston bruins are playing i just can't fucking believe it man
i just cannot fucking believe you know i went out here i got this fucking set
up out here in my garage
everything's all fucking set up and you just think like okay i'm good i'm good
nope nope you're not
good you're not fucking good you know what you're never going to be good it's
never going to fucking
work this thing has worked 20 of the time since i've had it you know and then
for some reason i
have a charger for the the the the the hard drive part of it but i don't have
no i have one for the
keyboard but not for the mouse it's the same cord so now i got to go out and go
buy another
fucking cord right so i can fucking plug that fucking thing to make sure
everything's all
fucking charged up and then you know what happens you know what happens the
power goes out the whole
thing gets wiped clean and then i got to sit around i got to start all over
again with this thing
this thing all of this
unbelievable unbelievable yeah so that's what they're doing now corporations
are buying up houses
corporations are buying up houses so the regular joe can't buy a fucking house
and guess what
republicans don't care democrats don't care nobody fucking cares none of them
give a
fuck all they want is their house in martha's vineyard or their fucking aquifers
in the south south america
that's all they give a fuck about they're in it for themselves we had some
fucking rich
cunt out here running for fucking office and everybody thought that he was
going to be the savior
people are so dumb it's like the guy's a real estate developer he spends a
hundred million dollars of
his own money to get a job that pays 250 grand a year and everybody oh it's
because he likes la that
much jesus wake the up he's spending a hundred million so he can give his own
company
four billion in real estate jobs well you know those jobs are going to create
our jobs oh jesus christ no
they're going to grossly underpay you and then the corporation itself is going
to go out and buy houses
and outbid you in cash so how do you fight back against it you know what don't
sell your house to a
corporation how about that how about that how about you do one for the regular
guy and you take the
offer from the hard work you're not going to do it you're not going to do it
because that that's how
capitalism works fuck everybody else below me i'm getting mine that's how it
works and
it doesn't work communism doesn't none of them work none of them work because
all forms of government are
run by human beings and we're all flawed that's what it is and you know who you
can blame you can
blame god for that because that's how he makes people he takes every each and
every one of us out
of the oven too early and then we come down here and we're all up and we just
do crazy
i think he just sits back and enjoys it all right so every religion and all
your dumb songs to this invisible guy who didn't make your right to begin with
that's how up you
are you're actually singing songs to somebody who made who did a bad job on you
this is how far i take it this is how far i take my little podcast studio
not running not working the way that i want to work and maybe if i took fucking
10 minutes and slowed
down my scatterbrain i could actually learn how it worked and i could maybe you
know charge my mouse
and fucking figure it out you know and not have this psycho echo on my voice
and and i don't even know what
why doesn't it interest me i have absolutely no interest in any of that
laptops iphones all of this shit but all of the world runs on them so i have to
interact with them
and i'll tell you this dude if i see that fucking robot going down the street
one more time i just
like i i literally watched this old guy having to slow down and speed up his
gate
this homeless guy trying to get around this robot as the robot was trying to
negotiate the
uneven sidewalks
and he's already like subservient to the thing he's treating it like it's a
person
you're like well hey you know i don't want to bump into this this is somebody
else's property and
blah blah blah blah blah blah you know and when you look at those two things
you know that other person actually has empathy unlike that fucking toaster
rolling down the
fucking street but the toaster doesn't want to be part of a union and doesn't
want weekends and
holidays off so that fucking nice guy is he's going to become extinct that's
what's going to happen
maybe that's what i'll do i'll just enjoy you know these rich cunts