Name: Bill Burr on the Ice Bath Craze
Uploaded: 2023-04-17T17:00:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr on the Ice Bath Craze' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-04-17. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr on the Ice Bath Craze' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-04-17. Transcript available.

I've been continuing to work out but I had a little setback with my shoulder as
always so I've
been looking up this shit you know the ice baths everybody's talking about the
ice baths and all
of this type of shit and you know you go down the rabbit hole next thing you
know you're online
looking at the top of the line ice bath which is just basically a giant stupid
fucking tub
and they're like well you know weighs about 40 pounds when it's empty so it's
easily
easily maneuverable and put on its stand once it's full it weighs 700 pounds
and I'm just thinking to myself I I'm not that's a fucking plastic container
there's no fucking way
that that should be worth 1300 fucking dollars and then I'm gonna have this
thing and I'm gonna be
really into it for about maybe I don't know a week or two or a month and then I'm
just gonna have 700
I'm gonna have 700 fucking pounds of water sitting in my goddamn garage
turning all different sorts of colors and all of that shit so I was like fuck
this I'm not doing
that what am I gonna gonna buy an ice bath what do you do next buy a boat you
fucking moron you don't
do shit like that in life people you get to know people that own this shit find
a friend you gotta go
hot chick right hot chicks get hungry just like everybody else but they don't
want to pay for meals
so what do they do they act like they like a guy with a nice watch and next
thing you know they're out
there with the girls sort of hanging out of a loose fitting fucking shirt they're
eating like a goddamn
pig right the date ends with a little hug air kiss and a little pat pat on the
back go fuck yourself
two pats one freeze blue ball go fuck yourself I just ate you gotta go hot
chick on the ice bath
do not ask not I don't know why I'm in this Kennedy mood here do not fucking uh
don't buy one of those fucking things so then I did the next thing I was like
all right it's fucking LA
it's Hollywood you know this is the latest fucking craze you know what I mean I
get my Botox
I have my enema fucking flush up my asshole and then I go into an ice bath and
then at lunch I like to
have soup
that's one of my favorite things ever is when celebrities break down their day
for me like I was
sitting around all day going you know I wonder what Lewis Gossett Jr. does what
what time does Lewis
Gossett Jr. how does he shave his head you know how does an Oscar nominated
actor shave his head
and what if I shaved what if I bought the same shaving equipment Lewis Gossett
Jr. had
would would I then be happy would I then be going up there accepting the thing
that everybody wants
um yeah so I looked at the next best thing which is a place that has a fucking
ice bath
right and I'm sitting there going like all right so I go over there this is
better now I don't have to
buy the thing I can just go over and use the thing but then you're getting into
the the fucking gross factor
you know what I mean like who here is who here like you guys are here you ever
take a fucking yoga class
I mean you want to talk about taking your life in your hands when you walk into
that fucking studio
right after another class and they have not mopped up or anything and it's that
hot yoga it's like
you're in the fucking jungles of Vietnam right and you can catch malaria
through your bare feet
in one of those fucking classes right you just come walking in if you're like
me with
with your northern European blood and you walk into this tropical forest
where they've removed all foliage and there's just the sweat and the emaciated
people I fucking uh
I can't deal with it like there's no way to get like
I don't know I guess you uh you put then you you fucking put your mat down but
then your mat is
and it's like rubber so it's like absorbing how many fucking hours how many
classes
a fucking plant-based burger sweat you know that's done god knows what I I don't
do so I you know
I stopped going to those things so I started thinking about that ice bath thing
it's like
all right this is 700 pounds of fucking water that's a lot of fucking water
that's a lot of weight
and we always have a drought out here how often do they change in that water
you know
I mean am I going to get in that thing right after Lou Diamond Phillips I don't
think I am
I don't know why I'm just naming celebrities with three names
you know the other night I had a I had a cigar with Ephraim Zimbalist Jr um
so then I was like all right because my shoulders like really talking to me man
it's feeling inflamed so uh I finally was like wait a minute I have a bathtub
I have ice I could fill the bathtub I'm gonna
what the fuck is wrong with I have this solution so I filled the bathtub up
I didn't have to make it fucking weigh 700 pounds or whatever it was just a
bath and instead of hot
water I just sat in cold water I didn't do the ice yet and I gotta tell you man
I fucking loved it
it sucked getting in but I knew I put my leg in and I went
and I was like fuck it get in get in get in get in
I got the other leg in all right and then I just said fuck it I just
sat down right up to my gingered nipples and that's as far as I could go and I
was just going
oh I was just doing that right there's not even any ice in it
so I'm working my way up to being comfortable with it and uh but after like you
know
20 seconds I was fine and then I was automatically immediately regretting why
didn't I go all the
way up to my neck I got to do this again and then I slid down up to my neck and
I was ah
but then you just sit there and you don't fucking move
and uh I stayed in there for 10 minutes and I really enjoyed it and uh
so I was in the bathroom you know obviously of our bedroom so I say
to Nea I go Nea I go come on in here she comes in I go look this is ice cold
water
I go feel how cold this water is I've been in here for eight minutes
she's just looking at me I go feel how cold it is she just goes I can see how
cold it is
she's made a fucking dick joke when I was suffering no I actually uh laughed my
frozen balls off for
like fucking the final two minutes and she was cracking up I love making her
laugh it's my favorite
thing in the and she was actually she was laughing because I was laughing uh
she's the best and we were
actually talking about how we haven't done a staycation in a while my favorite
thing to do and
I think we're going to go out to the uh the dessert I will never call it the
desert I will always call
it the dessert in honor of Greg Giraldo your balls are sticking to your leg out
here in the dessert