Name: Bill Burr on His Generation
Uploaded: 2023-05-04T17:00:15.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr on His Generation' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-05-04. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr on His Generation' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-05-04. Transcript available.

17-year-olds, thoughts on my generation.
All right, you must be your older generation.
Yo, Bill, I'm 17 years old.
Oh, yo, your thoughts on your generation.
I think the stigma that my generation
and the one just a bit older than me being lazy
is somewhat accurate, but not a complete rule of thumb.
All right, I'm gonna be a cunt here and give you my theory.
I think because old people can go on the internet
and talk about younger generations
rather than just doing it down the barbershop
like they used to, there's a lot more chatter out there.
How could you be lazier than Generation X?
What am I?
Is that what I was?
Gen X, yeah.
It's so funny now, like I watch these things
and they act like Generation X people worked,
like our generation worked.
And like, when we were young,
they called us the slacker generation.
And then somehow the generation
that called us the slacker generation,
I think died over the last 30 years.
So now we get to rewrite our history.
Like now we were these hardworking people
that rolled up our sleeves.
I mean, some of us were.
I don't know.
Anyway, this person says,
I think the reason that kids my age are lazy
is because everything is so automatic.
My dad owns a blue collar business
and my mom is a lawyer.
So I grew up understanding the importance of both.
Oh, what?
Blue collar and white collar?
I'll be in class.
I like your dad, man.
Married up.
Good deal.
I'll be in a class or the lunchroom
and the disdain that my peers have
for any job below guy
who tells people what to do
is off the charts.
Is that right?
Well, maybe it's because you guys
also are on like social media
and everybody has to sit there
and act like they have a bunch of money
and they're killing it
and living their best life.
Anyway, having a blue collar dad,
I never looked at the janitors
or the plumbers as morons.
Someone needs to fix
the fucking toilets bill.
Exactly.
I'm not saying that making fun
of plumbing as a job
is a big deal.
Dude, if you need a plumber,
that's a fucking great job
and an unbelievable skill
to know how to do.
I mean, every fucking three months
I have to remind myself
where the main water shutoff is.
It's the easiest run outside the house
and just week, week, week, you know?
Lefty, loosey, righty, tighty, right?
I fucking have all I can do
to fucking do that
and these guys can go in there
and redo your whole house if you want.
Dude, carpenters,
plumbers,
electricians,
mechanics,
you know,
those fucking geek squad people
that can fix your computers.
Like,
I have a tremendous respect
for all of those people.
Those bootleg cell phone places
that'll fix your iPhone screen
and all of that shit.
Oh, there goes your warranty.
I go fuck yourselves,
you apple cunts.
I don't give a shit.
I love anybody that can fix
fucking anything.
I mean,
that, like,
the level of respect that I have
and the fascination
that I have with all of that,
I just think it's amazing.
You know?
And then not to mention
the sense of satisfaction you get
when you go in,
there's a problem
and you go in and you fix it.
I mean,
I get that when I,
you know,
I walk around the house
replacing all the track lighting
that fucking burned out.
You know?
I just replaced the battery
in,
in the garage door opener.
I,
I get a little lift.
I feel a little taller that day
when I do that.
I can't imagine
if I went under the fucking sink
and changed out a J-trap.
I used to know how to do that.
I don't do that shit anymore.
I used to do it
when I used to rent
to this fucking apartment.
All of that shit.
I learned how to do,
uh,
basic repairs with that shit
and the,
uh,
that plumber's tape
and all of that.
Got myself a big fucking
monkey wrench
and all of that
and I got underneath there.
I cleaned,
I used to clean it out
if,
uh,
my wife dropped something
down there
or it got like clogged up.
That's what I do.
I got under the sink.
I take out the whole J-trap.
I wouldn't snake it out,
you know,
cause I didn't know
how to use a snake.
I would literally take
the whole thing apart
and just take a screwdriver
down there
and then years later
I was just like,
or I could have just learned
how to fucking learn
how to snake the thing out.
You know what I do now?
I just call Roto-Rooter.
That's the name
and away go your troubles
down the drain.
Um,
I think all of that shit's
cap and tree,
you know,
electrician.
I mean,
to me,
you're basically a wizard.
I don't know
how the fuck you do
that stuff
without killing yourself.
Um,
anyway,
uh,
having a blue-collar dad,
I never looked down
on Janet.
Someone needs to fix
the toilet spill.
I'm not saying
making fun of plumbing
as a job
is a big deal,
but at the end of the day,
most of my friends
wouldn't even dare
to try to understand
how to do
anything of the sort.
I wonder if there's gonna be
like a plumbing shortage.
Like,
I remember my whole time
growing up,
there would be periods
where,
uh,
my mom was a nurse.
There would be like
nurse shortages.
And,
um,
because,
like,
for whatever reason,
they would just go
through periods of like,
okay,
we need to pay nurses.
All right,
we got enough.
We're not paying them shit.
And then women would be like,
well,
fuck that job.
Okay,
we need nurses.
It would go back and forth,
like,
uh,
that whole debate
about whether an egg
is good for you or not.
Um,
anyway,
one time,
I helped a girl
jump her car
in the parking lot,
and instead of thanking me,
she turned around
and laughed,
then said under her breath,
um,
why does he know
how to do this?
I wanted to cut
that twats break line
right then and there.
Oh,
right there and then
is how you say it.
She said that
after you helped her out?
You know what?
That's probably
because she feels dumb
or she was with some dude
that didn't know
how to do it.
Um,
I'll be honest with you.
I gotta remember
how to do that.
I always forget.
Do you hook it up
to the dead battery first
or the live?
I mean,
positive to positive,
I mean,
that's easy.
And then you also gotta,
uh,
ground it,
right?
You gotta clip it
on the side.
You know what?
My big thing
that I really knew
how to do
and I could fucking
do it in two seconds
was change a tire
as, like,
a comedian
on the fucking road
and you'd get a flat
on the fucking
driver's side
on the fucking highway.
Oh my God.
I had a piece of pipe
like fucking
three feet long,
four feet long
right behind my,
the bench seat
of my truck
and I remember getting,
and I had like,
in my spare tire,
I had it in my bed.
I didn't have it
underneath
where it gets all,
you know,
back east.
That whole
assembly would get
all rusted
and you couldn't
get the fucking
thing off
if you wanted to.
I had that
in the bed
of my truck
till one night
somebody fucking
stole it
but I had it
like ready to go
and I would
fucking get out
of the truck
that little fucking
pussy ass
J-bar thing
that they would
give you
that you'd get
no fucking
leverage on.
I'd put the
fucking
four foot pipe
on it
and just
bang!
Get them all off
while it was still
on the ground.
Which is what
you wanted.
You loosen it
when it's on the ground
so the fucking
thing doesn't spin
or something like that.
Then I would
jack the fucker up,
take it off,
put it in.
I'd have the fucking
lug nuts in the bed
of the truck,
put it back on,
fucking give it a yank
and I would be back in.
I could literally
change the thing.
I had it changed
in like under
fucking
like five minutes.
Like I got to the point
I didn't even have
hubcaps
on my truck
because you know
you needed like
a Phillips screwdriver
to take the fucking
things off
and I was just like
I'm not dealing
with that
on the side
of a goddamn
road where I
could get clipped
and I still remember
coming back to
rest his soul
one of those
Dick Doherty gigs
in like Drake it
or Manchester,
New Hampshire
and I got a flat tire.
it was left rear
driver's side
and dude
I pulled like
halfway off
I was in the
emergency lane
and I put two tires
on the grass
and I was still
changing that thing
and feeling the cars
going by
and you know
when that wind
hits you
the lower part
of your pant legs
down by your calves
and makes them
stick to your shin
and I was just
sitting there
going like
please
I'd never been
so fucking
scared in my life
and that was
just that
and knowing
how to change
the oil
and the oil
filter
air filter
fuel filter
I got myself
to be
I was really
good at the
outskirts
I never had
the balls
to get into
gapping
a spark plug
and the timing
belt
and all of that
type of
distributor cap
all of that
shit scared
the shit
out of me
but
I think
knowing how
to do that
stuff
is the
coolest
shit
ever
I don't know
I'm really
going down
memory lane
here
so
look
I feel good
like I said
if I change
the battery
on a goddamn
garage door
opener
or if I change
a tire
I feel like
a fucking man
I can't imagine
if you actually
know how to
plumb
be an electrician
or a carpenter
all right
but you made
the goddamn
point
why does he
even know
how to do
this
you're welcome
cunt
anyway I think
part of the
problem is that
we're told
we're all told
to just keep
our heads down
and get into
a good college
my uncle
my uncle
my uncle
explained to
me that
college
tuition
can be
unreasonably
increased
all the time
because there's
no limit
to the loan
amounts
that we
can have
he's the
one who
introduced
me to
your comedy
and podcast
oh
tell him
I said
thank you
my cousin
graduated
with
$165,000
in debt
and a degree
in sociology
I asked him
what he was
going to do
with it
when he was
a junior
in his junior
year
and he had
no clue
it was at
a holiday
gathering
over dinner
my response
in front of
everyone was
don't expect
me to support
you when you
have no job
I said it
like a parent
would
in a fake
stern voice
I was thinking
I was
thinking I was
being funny
he did not
neither did
his parents
yeah
because they're
the ones
that are on
the hook
for it
I think
it's funny
that all my
friends
do is blame
boomers
and Gen Xers
for all the
problems of the
world
then turn to
them as if
to say
how could
you steer
me wrong
man
to sum
it all up
I think
there are
many reasons
my generation
is or can
seem lazy
some of it
is their fault
some of it
isn't
that's the
truest thing
ever
and some
of the
problems
of today
are because
of boomers
and Gen Xers
and some
of it
isn't
it's more
like
where you're
at right
now
where you're
sort of
young
and you're
standing
on the
banks
of the
rushing
river
and at
some
point
you got
to jump
in
and try
and swim
and the
deal is
what the
deal is
you know
I think
everybody
young
is like
yeah
we're
going to
change
this
shit
and
I think
that's the
genius
of a
college
education
is it
gets you
so fucking
behind the
eight ball
with the
debt
that you
don't have
time to
question
the Ponzi
scheme
and you're
like fuck
it I got to
play or I'm
going to go
under
I'm going to
be one of
these people
living in a
tent city
under a
fucking
bridge
well that's
depressing
yeah
I don't
you know
as much as
I bitch
about shit
I don't
look down
on younger
people
or that
type of
shit
I do
make fun
of you
though
which is
the right
of being
an older
person
and
all you
guys can
just say
is like
well you
know
you're
going to
die
before me
and then
you win