Name: If Jim Gaffigan Was A Serial Killer
Uploaded: 2023-07-31T17:00:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'If Jim Gaffigan Was A Serial Killer' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-07-31. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'If Jim Gaffigan Was A Serial Killer' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-07-31. Transcript available.

but i think there's something about you guys who grew up out in the midwest
there's something about you know just in the winter time i always bring this up
when the
crops are cut down yeah and that overcast gray sky meets that dead earth yeah
it just does
something to you guys you guys all kind of have that serial killer vibe like
you could go definitely
you could go yeah you know come on pot kettle kettle what you're saying you don't
come across
like a serial killer no i come like i come off like a hothead who's going to
get killed in a bar
fight i'm going to hit my head off a curb i don't i don't have that rusty
farming tools in the
background vibe that you midwest people have like i would have sling blade like
that shit i would have
i would murder people in an interesting way it wouldn't be it would be kind of
it would you like
if you discovered oh jim gaffigan's been killing people it would there would be
an interesting thing
like oh my god he chokes them and then he jerks off on them or something like
well that's the
serial the serial killers are the artists they are of murders they're the they're
they're kind of the
stand-up comedians of criminals right the serial killers they are the stand-up
comedians they're
they're kind of they're unrecognized they kind of they work their way up they
work alone
right they serial killers rather i mean outside of the nazis they they don't
really work in groups
they're usually solo they they often you know like if they're you know ted bundy
he traveled
he would go on tour the best ones you don't really know their names right the
hacks usually you know
like they're always trying to like tease the police so they get their name out
there like you know it
was a hack was that btk killer right because he named himself and then he was
trying to get all
his attention well he also retired and then he came back and then he got busted
that was his ego
that was him kind of like he you know like stand up you have to consistently do
it like when people
take like 20 years off and then they come back and do us but it's always it's
like when jordan went to
the wizards right so he came back and he was bt in but he wasn't k and right
well he you know it is
you know the serial killer thing is why do we people love by the way women seem
to love murderers
like my wife i'm fascinating right like they're all against like rude behavior
but like my wife can't
get enough of that dateline show right yeah my wife watches that the amount of
times i've gone
to sleep where i just hear that it was a quiet town right things like this
weren't supposed to
happen right they were in love until or so it appeared or so it appeared yeah
no that why is
that what's you know my wife claims that she watches it because she thinks what
would i do in
that situation and like you know i mean i i mean i guess i i for a while was
watching those behind
the scenes prison things trying to come up with a plan of what i would do
before i finally came to
the obvious answer which was i would get raped repeatedly that i think we uh i
i don't know what i mean
at the end of the day i mean you can't go from fucking now is that what you
think would happen or is
that what you would want to happen i mean it's a combination of both no it's
just well what if
i call it being a realist like every guy thinks that like i have like i i spent
one night in jail
never in prison i got arrested for drinking and driving i had to sell to myself
i didn't have to
fight anybody off so like you can't go that's what always fascinates me with
these fucking idiots
who kill their spouse it's like you barely even cheated on your taxes and now
you're going to try to
get away with the most difficult thing to get away with where you're you're you're
going to be one
of the first suspects right who look to profit right