Name: Bill Burr’s Honest Thoughts on Conspiracy Theories
Uploaded: 2023-08-02T17:00:14.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr’s Honest Thoughts on Conspiracy Theories' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-08-02. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr’s Honest Thoughts on Conspiracy Theories' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-08-02. Transcript available.

how many conspiracy like do you believe they landed on the moon uh i don't know
what happened
do you believe that uh every because this is a common thing do you believe that
every rich person
has gained that success no by taking advantage of poor people no because that's
a big thing
yeah that's why the lack of empathy for people in that submersible you want to
fuck those
fucking people man well but by the way do you think what are your views of
billionaires like do you
think that i just think it depends on how you got it if you did it in an underhanded
way even if you're
a millionaire i don't respect you but if you're a billionaire if you're like
fucking tyler perry
he's a billionaire i'm mad at him because he fucking figured out medea is it
medea medea medea and how
to like get himself on the other side of the desk to eliminate people putting
hands in his pockets
like as as an artist looking at that guy i yeah look at him like wow how did
you do that
so i don't i don't look at people like i mean if you uh yeah i don't i don't i
yeah but the thing
but there's a stereotype there's a stereotype of uh conspiracy theories they
always go to the moon
thing do you think it's made out of cheese do you think we think there was a
sound stage no i i don't
i don't think well there is something you know like i kind of i did think the nba
was fixed and i was
and i was right you think there's a script and all that like that nfl script
thing like that was a
big thing on twitter like well i do think that the fact that they all call
themselves entertainment
leagues because then if somebody actually does fix a game that they can't for
some reason the
government gets involved i don't know why you can turn our fucking food supply
into poison that's fine
they don't get involved but if if you take steroids and hit too many home runs
all of a sudden
you know or or or fucking lance armstrong the department of justice gets
involved in a fucking
about a bike race in in france i think it's just all a bunch of oh look at this
over here oh who is
this guy and then meanwhile you can do all of this fucking horrific shit as a
corporation and as long
as you help funding their campaigns they do look the other way i don't think
that that's a conspiracy and
i also don't think it's it's wild that all of these sports leagues are now in
bed with gambling companies
i think that's a problem i think that's a big that was like the number that was
like the number one
rule that's pete rose that's like pete rose was like ahead of his time and he
was you know they're like
no no pete rose is gone forever and now there's a couple players that have been
betting that are like
well a couple games and pete rose i just knew the guy in the falcons did it no
there was there was uh
there's someone on the colts that that is gonna miss some games but yeah it is
weird like i yeah
because they can't punish him too bad because then they're telling fans that
this is a bad thing to do
they i mean they basically made a deal with the devil and i'm saying this as i
advertise sports
gambling on this podcast well yeah no it's and you know it's like i i like kevin
hart but like he's
you know like the there is something about those draft king things that i don't
i don't have any
problem with it do you blame kevin hart for sports personally i blame him for
uh the the mobile
wireless monopoly that exists and and for 5g giving people cancer no i don't
blame him for anything
he's just he like target he wants to be a billionaire like of all our friends
and comedian peers like
kevin wants to be a billionaire i don't know how i got on that topic but let me
explain this
here's here's where i'm worried about sports getting in bed with gambling some
of it is they need
advertisers right and they also they they like the taste of money like i don't
know how much
dalmix a year but 30 million and but how much does the league make you know
what i mean it's like
what what should his cut be versus ted sarandos or that guy who uh you know zaslov
made 400 million
i don't know it's like but the thing that worries me about the sports betting
who the fuck is zaslov
he's the guy who first time warner uh warner discovery he's the one uh that but
like you know
those guys they they any bad move they make they blame on their shareholders
but then for some
reason shareholders aren't upset when they give themselves 100 200 million
dollar bonus at the end
of the year i mean that's also like goodell that's legalized stealing he's
being paid 30 million i have
to think the owners are like how much do we make oh we made 800 million i don't
care give him 30
you know i mean i don't look i i don't i don't know how this shit works but i i
do know that it's a
business yeah it's a business and i feel like the way the nba i'm not gonna get
i've talked about this
too many times it's just and and what just pissed me off was when they actually
showed that a ref was
was fixing games they were able to frame i was one guy there was just one
really lee harvey officiator
wow no but like if you actually watch there's a documentary on the donahy guy
like i actually
think that while he was fixing games and i think he was doing with other referees
i mean you can't
just as one official start shaving points and the other guys on your coaching
officiating team aren't
aware what you're doing so at the very least i think you shouldn't you should
have investigated
those guys i also think while simultaneously he was fixing games literally i
feel like stern and
those guys were massaging certain organizations with the most stars slash the
best ratings i mean
they look at their fucking ratings well bigger markets bigger markets are going
to give more
viewers yeah so they're going to get the calls and then so i don't think they
literally said this team
is going to play this team so this team wins i think they just they they made
sure that the the highest
rating getters had the best opportunity the most grease slide to get there and
um you know i mean
that i just what i just think and what's funny is all laker fans have is what
about the time when
fucking what's his face wanted to come here and they blocked the trade it's
like all right one out of
seven hundred thousand fucking free agents that went your way they didn't let
you get it was chris paul
they wouldn't let him come there and they got all fucking up and i don't know
why that i don't and i
still don't know why they blocked that um because they they allowed all of
these other ones so for the
while it wasn't like competent i'm doing it again i'm no well my whole thing
about the gambling
thing is my 12 year old is actually pretty good at basketball and he i say he's
gambling he's pretty good at it well
that's the thing it's like he you can't watch the nba finals without being kind
of like gamble gamble gamble and
so he's like hey can we gamble on the next game i'm like no i mean granted it's
the only addiction i don't have but
like i'm like oh you you're one of those guys that i what what that i don't you
not drink and shit no i drink but
like i have a tendency to like addictive behavior that's what i have i'm not a
full-on but i'm
i'm three quarters there well you know like my whole thing with you like food's
been a thing for you
food is a big thing everything so you look great right now like you've dropped
like 30 pounds or
something now some of it's i'm wearing a coat but uh but you know what it is a
red flag when a guy's
wearing a coat in july it's july but the uh but the no like here's my whole
thing and i was trying to
explain this to my kids i'm like and by the way this is i i did this play and
and he won't care jason
patrick is this uh this friend of mine who's like who enjoys drinking he goes
he goes you don't want
to be in a position where you can't drink some people just are like i'm done i
think you were
like i'm done yeah but like some people are like they have to stop and so he's
kind of like he's
somebody who's like loves to have a beer like when we did that that broadway
play we would go out every
night and he'd be like the thing is is you have to temper it because you don't
want to get to the
point where you can't ever have it again and so that's because you know if you
have an addictive
thing so it's like you gotta no no you're i mean you do half a shot no no no i'd
say that's that's
that's i think that's the difference between someone who has a problem doesn't
and i i think
like look i think that i could you know if i didn't have it at home
but i just know that it just would it just kept always just kept getting to
that point of me being
like i gotta i gotta i gotta cut back i need to stop for a while and i just i
got sick of doing
that yeah i'm drinking i'm not drinking i'm drinking i'm not drinking then when
i just quit the last
time i was just like i just don't want to go through that first two weeks of
not drinking before
i just don't give a fuck anymore just trying to get through that like i'm doing
that with like
cigars for the umpteenth time yeah where all i need to do is just get 10 days
in and then i never need
to have another one right so i'm six days in now and now it's just starting it's
like a relationship
they just they fade away and you move on to somebody else and i feel like and
you eventually don't even
miss it like when i've been eating really healthy i mean this is 20 years ago
but like i didn't eat
doritos and you wouldn't even want to eat a dorito when you're eating healthy