Name: Bill Burr - Gas Station Incident
Uploaded: 2023-08-17T18:00:32.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Gas Station Incident' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-08-17. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Gas Station Incident' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-08-17. Transcript available.

Was I wrong?
Dear Billy Redface, I am a longtime listener and a big fan of your podcast and
comedy specialist.
Thank you.
I would like your opinion on an incident that I had last week.
Last week, I had a confrontation at a gas station.
It's a dangerous place.
Guy sprays you with gas and flicks his fucking lighter at you and that's it.
I drive a Ford Expedition and was waiting in line.
All the pumps were in use.
Dude, there's a lot of fucking fights at gas station pumps.
There's a lot.
I'm already thinking like the person that like fucking starts pumping the gas
and then walks into the convenience store and takes a fucking, you know, half
hour to come back out.
Or the person that doesn't pull all the way up and then you can't drive around
them.
A lot of fucking fights there.
All right.
All the pumps were in use.
One pump opened up and this older lady pulled in front of me and took the pump.
She got out of the car and stared at me as she walked to the pump.
Ooh, she had a walking boot on.
Needless to say, I was pissed.
Minute later, the pump next to her opened up.
I pulled my big ass Ford Expedition into this pump and made sure that I was
parked a few inches from her driver door so that she couldn't get back in.
Oh, oh, oh, oh my God.
Oh, do I fucking love that.
I mean, that's, that is fantastic.
Dare I say that?
That just made my morning, afternoon.
I'm a little late today.
Um, I started pumping the gas and eventually she walked over to me and said, I
can't get in my vehicle.
I replied with, okay, I was waiting for that pump.
She said, well, I thought you were waiting for someone inside.
You are a real gentleman.
Thank you.
Was she saying that sarcastically?
I finished pumping my, pumping gas and pulled away from the pump.
And as I pulled away, she took a picture of my license plate.
Well, what is she going to do?
You can't get a ticket for being an asshole.
Nothing has happened in my vehicle.
So I don't think she did anything with that picture.
She's just trying to scare you.
Given the fact that she was an older lady in a walking boot.
Do you think I overreacted?
I would like to hear your opinion on this incident on your podcast.
Thanks and go fuck yourself.
Well, first, the fact that you don't feel 100% in the right.
You actually kind of felt bad when you left.
Um, you know what?
I got to be honest with you.
I wasn't there.
I would have to see when she was staring at you.
I'd have to see what that look was.
Was she really staring at you?
Was she just sort of squinting?
Was she nervous that you were going to, you know,
what if your foot went off the brake and under the gas
and she's old and has a busted foot?
I mean, I don't know.
The way you painted the picture, I mean, I was all aboard on that.
Um, look, you didn't hurt her.
You just, you know, inconvenienced her the way she inconvenienced you.
I thought you did it in a brilliant way.
Uh, I'm going to give a thumbs up on that, you know?
I mean, personally, I don't really fuck with old people.
Uh, but, uh, I am not going to lie to you.
I would be calling her an old fucking cunt under my breath,
but I wouldn't say that to her.
So, whatever.
I think you did.
What you did was brilliant.
God bless you.
It's fucking hilarious.