Name: Bill Burr: My Girlfriend of 7 Years Dumped Me
Uploaded: 2023-08-30T15:00:12.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr: My Girlfriend of 7 Years Dumped Me' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-08-30. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr: My Girlfriend of 7 Years Dumped Me' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-08-30. Transcript available.

um girlfriend of seven years dumped me um hey bill my girlfriend of seven years
dumped me
two months after she moved to connecticut for graduate school she didn't use
those exact words
but she told me she told me she needed time to think because something is
missing in our
relationship and she needs time to figure out what it is well dude you've been
with
her for seven years man i mean who am i to talk i was with nia for nine years
before we got married
but um we were on the same page as we were both terrified to make that leap um
anyways i'm not
a mind reader but if some someone has been with you for seven years and they
need the time to think
about whether they still want to be with you that's not a good sign yes your
instincts are correct i
would say uh since i had this conversation with her i have been absolutely
devastated and depressed i'm
ashamed to admit this but the other night i found myself on my bedroom floor
crying in the fetal
position well that's totally normal and it's also it's a healthy thing to do
cry it out of you don't
drink it out of you or jump off a balcony those are dumb that men do all right
women get down on the
floor cry in the fetal position i think that's why they live longer if it was
socially acceptable for
us to do it so please continue doing that it's a valid human emotion that both
men and women have
that men fight yeah cry it out of you um good for you very mature thing to do
um you should not feel
ashamed at all he said i understand that time heals all wounds but i have no
idea how to how to start
the process of getting over this do what you're doing cry it out of you and
then um call your best
friend and just say listen dude i'm embarrassed to say this but i'm devastated
i'm over here crying like a
little girl yeah you i gotta get me out of the house man take me for a walk
like a dog just
can we get some fresh air anyways he said to keep my mind off her i try to stay
busy by going to the
gym and focusing on hobbies but i can't seem to shake this miserable feeling
how would you handle
this situation if you were my shoes um i would accept the fact that that it's
gonna hurt okay and that
you're not going to be able to just go to the gym and take a pottery class and
forget a woman that you
loved for seven years um what you have to do is understand that it's gonna hurt
for a while and
you have to rather than run from the pain sit in it cry your way through it and
then go to the gym
and you know the crying thing's gonna last for a little while and once you get
through that then
just try you know even during the crying time i try to do i'm gonna do
something positive today i'm
gonna do the dishes you know just do little things that are on a list you know
and then
while you're doing that just start making a list of uh how you want to come out
of this
do you want to come out of this ship this yeah literally this 20 pounds heavier
or do you want
to come out like 10 pounds lighter because you've been going to the gym you
know do you want to come
out of this hating women or hopeful that you that you you know you're with the
wrong person
and you haven't you have a whole new opportunity to meet somebody great you
know you didn't have
any kids you weren't married it's a nice clean breakup um you know you can
totally rebuild your
life where you can have the greatest life ever and then one day you're gonna
run into her she's gonna
see how happy you are and it's the moment that you're gonna want to be like
yeah you see i'm happy
look at me in my car in my family and you know what if you're truly happy you
you're not gonna have
that hey you thing to her you're gonna be like hey how are you i hope you're
happy you know and in
your head the greatest thing that ever happened is you left me because now you
dude you're older you're
wiser you're going through this thing now you're gonna really figure out what
you like i'm telling
you this will end up being the greatest thing that happened to you but the
thing is you gotta you can't
be a guy here and try to block out the pain you gotta just sit in it
you know just go through all your that you bought together that
makes you cry and all that cry put it on craigslist get it the out of there
you know get through all of that and then maybe just get rid of the that she
got you
move to a new place just start over and then when you meet broads in a bar you
just tell them what's going on with you just got out of this seven-year thing
it was devastating
but i'm totally hopeful you know i want to meet somebody great and they're
always like oh my god
that's nice they're attracted to it next thing you know you're drinking ipas
you're getting
blowjobs with women you're not in a relationship with look at that the clouds
are parted
all right all of that is in your future but you got to go through the pain
first all right
that's it if you were a car you're a barn find right now they haven't even
fucking sprayed you off and got the rat out of you you just got to deal with
that right now
but the best thing you can do is not bury this the reason why women do so well
is because they're
allowed to cry they can cry in front of their friends they can talk this out
and they can get
past it we don't we carry it and carry it and carry it and it affects other
relationships if you truly
want to get past this thing you got to go through the pain of it that's what
the that's what i learned
all the times i got dumped all right good luck to you sir go
yourselves to the rest of you i'll check in on you on thursday um that is it