Name: Bill Burr Destroys McDonalds
Uploaded: 2023-10-17T17:00:04.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr Destroys McDonalds' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-10-17. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr Destroys McDonalds' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-10-17. Transcript available.

i felt bad for mcdonald's you know first of all this whole excitement that they're
trying
to create about the fact that they're serving breakfast all day i mean i might
be out of the
loop you know i'm an older fella but nobody i knew i know is has ever bitched
that mcdonald's
doesn't serve breakfast all day they might you know when you show up at 10 31
are you still
serving breakfast no i'm sorry you know and you got a hangover and you just
want one of their
fucking sausage egg and cheese and now you gotta get like a quarter pounder you
know something about
the eggs you know you did i gotta eat some eggs in there a little bit biscuit
right i can see that
and i can see them hey from now now on we're gonna be serving uh breakfast
until 11 a.m that would have
been fine but to watch these guys just cave in to their fan base and just say
you know what okay you
know what you guys you win you win you can have breakfast all day long to watch
them do that
it's like watching a great artist just completely sell out right and just start
you know making
songs that really meant something and connected with you to just do it remember
that time when brian
adams put on the eyeliner and spiked up his fucking hair it's just like how was
how did the summer of 69
guy go from this to that well what happened that's what mcdonald's is doing
right now they got their
eyeliner on they got their hair all spiked up they might as well it's just you
know when they announced
that they're gonna do breakfast all day they might as well have had ronald mcdonald
behind two
turntables pretending to be like a dj you know have a little self-esteem mcdonald's
don't give
into these animals them if you can't roll your fat ass out of bed by 10 or 10
30 you're getting a burger
all right all right fuck you i'm gonna make eggs for your all goddamn day i'm
not
fucking burgers like 99 cents what more could we be doing for you
could we doing for you what more could we be doing for you see that that's that
fucking hiccup in my brain um i think it's a bad move you don't see wendy's
doing that wendy's
doesn't even serve breakfast they're like fuck you we make hamburgers and you
know what they're square
deal with it right mcdonald's you're the dealer you're the pusher okay
you let the junkies come to you you don't start slashing prices okay i
understand okay you're
fucking billions and billions of served the formula works what are they so
afraid of
because i'll tell you right now you know what sucks denny's let's just talk
breakfast food right here
you know denny's blows i don't know what it is about them they are like like ihop
is like the irock z
and denny's is just the regular you got a camaro but it's got a v6 in it i don't
know why they serve
the exact same the exact same they almost have the same menu they just call it
different shit right
it's like mcdonald's and mcdowell's right but there's something about ihop you
know their pancakes
they're more fluffier bacon's a little more crispier i like their toast better
you know eggs are eggs whatever you know don't ever order scrambled eggs if you
want scrambled eggs you
make them yourself okay they just nobody knows how to make scrambled eggs
nobody knows how to make oatmeal
they know how to make oatmeal but they made it like nine hours ago and they
just stick it in a giant vat
i'll give you guys a great tip on when you make scrambled eggs
all right when you scramble them you got to scramble the out of them
all right when i scramble eggs all right put two or three in the bowl
okay it's like a cooking show except you listen to it right um you're you know
how the hell i even got
on this subject how the fuck does this happen i'm telling you guys how to scramble
legs do you realize
how insulted you should be right now this is like something you tell a five-year-old
but this is a
little secret that i made scrambled eggs forever and you know what they tasted
like the scrambled eggs
at denny's and i was proud i was like these are just like the ones at denny's
but i didn't realize
that denny's absolutely sucked right so um i'm just loving all the tweets i'm
gonna get because
you know there's people out there that love denny's and thinks ihop stinks i
will tell you this denny's
table's not as sticky ihop has cornered the market i mean dude you put your
elbow on that table if you
leave it there for more than three seconds i mean somebody's got to get a putty
knife or you're not
getting it off there um so anyways the the scrambled eggs this is what you want
to do right you put two
or three in a bowl whatever you want to do all right then you take out your
fork and you start
scrambling them and what a lot of people do is they scramble them for like you
know 15 20 seconds tops
you don't want to do that dude you want to scramble them for like two minutes
you want to get a bunch of
air in there you want to scramble the out of them right i learned this from
reading an article on james
khan one time he gave you this tip so this is from him so if you think i'm a
moron i'm going from a guy
who was in godfather one and two all right and elf three of the greatest movies
of all time as far
as i'm concerned all right so anyways you got to get that air in there you got
to have those bubbles
going right over the top you know what i mean like a good milkshake that's what
the it
should look like meanwhile you got your pan your pan is on high i know you guys
christ you're gonna cook
the out of it no what you're gonna do is the second you pour it in you're gonna
be constantly moving
that right you put it in the right you got the pan you got your little whatever
you use right
your olive oil whatever the yeah i wouldn't put butter in there because you got
it on high right
whatever you spray in there your pam whatever you whatever you use to deplete
the ozone layer
you get that thing on high right and right is whatever you put in there just
starts to see
like it's gonna start smoking you pour that shit in there and it goes and then
you move
that around like a stir fry you don't stop moving that thing right and when it
looks like it's about
halfway done you pull the frying pan off the burner and you finish it that way
then you take it you
fucking dump it on and you're done that's it oh at some point you put some sea
salt in there too
whatever however you want to garnish it all right and i'm telling you they'll
be nice and fluffy
all right unlike that horse that they have down there at denny's and ihop ihop
doesn't make
good scrambled eggs either and you got to get cheese in them you got to get
cheese but that's
like ordering a steak and you got to put like a1 on it because the guy didn't
know how to cook it
you should not have to put cheese in your scrambled eggs if you know what you're
doing
all right and you know what that's one to grow on there you go how was that
took me seven eight
years of doing this podcast and i finally told you how to scramble a goddamn
egg