Name: Bill Burr's Crazy Fast Food Conspiracy Theory
Uploaded: 2023-11-07T18:00:24.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr's Crazy Fast Food Conspiracy Theory' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-11-07. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr's Crazy Fast Food Conspiracy Theory' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-11-07. Transcript available.

So later on that night, my wife came home.
She's like, what do you want to get to eat?
It was late night.
I was like, I don't know.
You want to get something bad?
We haven't eaten bad in like three weeks.
So she goes, all right.
She goes, you want to do it?
I go, do what?
She goes, you know.
I go, I'm not fucking going there.
She goes, come on.
You got to go there.
I go, I'll go to a taco truck.
She's like, nah, I don't feel like getting Mexican tonight.
So I go, I'm not going to McDonald's.
I can't.
I'm too old.
I can't do it.
Can we at least go to Wendy's where it sort of looks like real meat?
Can I do that?
And she's like, who the fuck goes to Wendy's?
It's like I do.
I relate to that little redheaded girl on the side.
Okay.
She still has a dignity as opposed to that redheaded fucking clown.
What's what?
What's the deal with redheads?
The Burger King guy, sort of a ginger.
What would you guys do if you found out?
That redheads were actually the ones that were running everything.
Right?
That we were the blue bloods.
I mean, our skin is almost transparent.
So you can definitely see our veins, especially during the winter.
That's where blue blood came from, I guess.
These pasty white people and they'd see their blue veins.
And they used to say that they had blue blood, I guess.
Because like most of these fucking idiots who don't have a medical degree, who
are speaking with authority, rather than just listening to people who know it.
It's like, do you listen to your mechanic?
You don't know what you're talking about.
You're missing five out of six lug nuts.
I wouldn't go 80 miles an hour down the fucking, ah, fake news.
Yeah, they didn't understand that it was the blood, I guess, going, ah, Jesus
Christ.
Now I can't even explain it.
I looked it up a long time ago.
It's basically, you have oxygenated blood.
And once your body uses it up, the stuff that has the CO2 in it, when it's
coming out, I guess when you exhale, it turns blue.
I'm sorry.
See, this is why you shouldn't listen to me.
This is why you should only listen to people that have medical degrees.
What is that again?
How does that work?
I don't give a fuck.
I'll forget it again.
I already looked it up.
Obviously, my brain is like, dude, you're out of your element here.
We're just going to stick this information that you just read and spewed out
back when I did it.
We're going to stick it in a little shoebox and just add it to the pile of shit
that you read but didn't quite understand.
So what would you do if redheads were the real bluebloods, right?
And the way that we kept you all dumb was we are the people behind the fast
food.
And that's why all of the mascots, the Ronald McDonald's, the Wendy's, the
fucking Ronald McDonald's.
And look at the Jack in the Box.
You're telling me that doesn't look like me?
If I shave my beard off and I stand next to the Jack in the Box guy, you're
going to tell me you see a difference?
Creating a new conspiracy theory here.
That's how we keep you all fucking dumb.
And that's why the sun doesn't like us because we're so negative.
I don't know.
There's something in there.
You know, you throw a little kid in there with glasses and there's witches.
You got yourself like a trilogy.