Name: Bill Burr Destroys Black Friday
Uploaded: 2023-11-28T17:00:34.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr Destroys Black Friday' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-11-28. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr Destroys Black Friday' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-11-28. Transcript available.

Three football games yesterday. There's a football game today on Black Friday.
Now everybody knows today's the day you go out with your wife, you go out to a
box store,
and for some reason you put your life in jeopardy, you know, over, you know,
you look at those box stores, it's just nothing but shit.
Everything in there is disposable shit. It's not worth dying.
I say this every fucking year, don't die. Don't die over this shit.
Your kid doesn't give a fuck. At the end of the day, I don't give a fuck
how much your kid wants that thing. What your kid needs more than anything is
your time.
If you give your kid your time, your kid is going to be happy.
Your kid's going to be secure and feel, provided you're not screaming at him
the whole time.
You give your kid time, your time, it's going to be fine.
And then the fact, because they didn't get that fucking toy, that BMX bike they
always wanted,
they'll be driven. And they'll go out in the business world with a fuck or be
fucked attitude,
and they'll work their way up the banking system, or maybe they'll be part of
the war machine.
But you can know that they felt loved when they were growing up. See, there you
go. That's how it works.
There's got to be a fine line between giving your kid your time and getting
them, you know,
some of the stuff. I wouldn't even say most of the stuff that they wanted and
not getting trampled
at a superstore. I mean, at this point, you know that that is a fucking option.
That you know you're going down there and shit could happen, right?
It was like going to a fucking soccer game in England back in the day. Soccer.
By the way, you know, I love how much they fucking pay attention to us.
All of those cunts around the world. The amount of shit that fucking F1 race
got.
It's just like, what is the fucking problem? There's going to be cars going 200
miles an hour
through the city of Los Angeles.
And somehow all of these people around the world, the world, the world had a
fucking problem with it.
It ended up being a great race.
You're always trashing American football. We don't give a fuck about your
goddamn sports.
Go do them.
Nitpick, nitpick, nitpick.
Rugby guys are tougher. Are they? Fantastic. Go watch them.
Have a good time. See ya.
I'll watch my sports. Thank you very much.
I will watch NASCAR.
I'll watch them drive around in a circle if you don't mind.
Thank you. Thank you very much.
You go have fun with your fucking boomerang and your feet
and whatever the fuck it is you do.
And whatever the fuck it is you do over there.
I don't give a fuck what you're doing. Have fun.
Get out there and go do a Taipan roundup
or whatever the fuck you do in the Badlands.
I don't give a fuck.
Australian rules football, right?
Looks like a bunch of chain smokers
fucking at a rave or some shit, right?
I don't give a fuck.
I don't know if that's what it looks like.
I used to watch that shit when I first got ESPN.
I used to watch Australian rules football
and I loved it.
And everybody looked like they, at the very least,
had been convicted.
They had at least one felony.
You know?
Long hair.
Sweat.
I just remember they would, like, pick somebody up.
You know, like that dumb shit people do at a wedding.
You ever see that shit?
Who does that?
Is it Jewish people?
They pick the fucking person up in the chair.
Every year, there's a whole compilation
of Jewish men toppling out of the chair
at their own goddamn wedding.
You know somebody has gotten seriously fucked up,
really banged their head,
maybe even slightly concussed,
and had to fucking shake off a concussion
because you didn't want to ruin her day.