Name: Crazy Ex-Girlfriend!
Uploaded: 2024-01-02T16:00:03.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Crazy Ex-Girlfriend!' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-01-02. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Crazy Ex-Girlfriend!' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-01-02. Transcript available.

this girl is killing me man all right dear billy big head
ah shit you guys are really accurate this week uh back nine big head i mean
what i what i'm
fucking on the ropes here somebody throwing the towel uh i am a sophomore in
high school
but i've been listening to your pause cat podcast for a year now i i need some
advice oh jesus
christ this is fucking scary i hope you need some fucking regular advice all
right i need some
advice on how to handle this girl hey nia are you out there
nia you want to you want to give this kid some advice
oh that's right you're sick okay sorry
hang on let me hit pause here hang on all right i'm back i'm back jesus christ
she's still sick
she's still sick i'm sleeping upstairs again tonight um all right uh sophomore
in high school and i
need some advice on how to handle this girl i dated her for about nine months
last year a lot of heartache
this this week and learned a lot the problem is that this girl is really
immature and i cannot have a
conversation with her without her arguing sorry i picked this up without her
arguing with me or something
over something not important oh dude you're a son who gives a shit fucking move
on to the next one
for example towards the end of my relationship with her she gave me the silent
treatment for multiple
days because i told her i didn't like australia she constantly insulted me
called me dumb and told me i
was a terrible brother are you dating your sister or she just observed your
family
what state did this come from and did crazy things like this throughout our
relationship she's one of
those girls who thinks that she she's always she oh that she always gets to be
right and i am not
and i am not about that life he says uh when she broke up with me it was this
whole scene
well dude it sounds like you dodged a bullet here
what dating is all about is meeting what you don't want and then you figure
that out and then you finally
fucking meet the right person you totally yeah you're fucking young as shit
what's the problem
here i got very close with her family and well so you're a good guy and when we
broke up her seven
year old sister sobbed jesus christ her mom even went to the extent to call me
on the phone to tell
me i was a great boyfriend and wish me wish that me and her could possibly work
things out in the future
her family adores me to this day due to the fact that i really played up the
whole nice guy thing
oh what are you really an this is where things get even worse she constantly
leads leads me on
and i fall for it yeah that's what being young is all about and at a town fair
we have we have
she hung out with me all weekend we were very flirty and she heavily led me on
but when i asked her out
she said she wasn't ready all right dude this once again if you listen to the
last one this is why
you do not stay in contact with ex-girlfriends okay she just doesn't she doesn't
want you to meet
someone else until she's met somebody or so i don't i don't know why i don't
know what the
they think i just know i just know you just you gotta you gotta you guess you
gotta walk you gotta walk
all right the same thing happened a few months later i have left her alone for
the past few months only
talking to her once every three weeks and every time she ends up being mad at
me for some dumb reason
an hour ago she was mad at me for not roasting her and called me pathetic
roasting her
i'm trying to figure out where the fuck you live you got a little fair
a town fair and then you guys also have roasts i don't know what this is all
right she apologized
all the time for her action but continues to do the same thing should i not
even talk to her
or should i forgive her because she's just immature and can't handle her
feelings
any advice would be appreciated especially you get the uh the lovely nia to
answer as well
hope the family's doing great and go drink a beer it's hilarious um
yeah i would just have a a conversation i would just say listen uh i don't
enjoy talking to you
because you always get mad and you yell at me we are broken up and i don't
think it's healthy
for us to continue talking to one another however when i see you i don't want
it to be weird so
is there a way that you you in a nice way could just off and let me get on with
my life but if i
see you you know we could just walk by you know we could raise eyebrows you
know and acknowledge that
we saw each other maybe we could high five and not saying anything you know and
then if she flips out
it gives a it gives a i mean it just doesn't you know it doesn't sound like
here's a question for you since you broke up has it ever ended well any
interaction any interaction
you've had with her okay if the answer is no then she got to stop interacting
with her but it
seems like it's such a small town i'm judging you because you went to a fair
okay so my world
you brought your prize pig down there and i don't know what the happened after
that all right um
i would say yeah i would just
you know there's i imagine plenty of other women you uh you know what's the
proper word
that is chicks you can go to school with there's really no middle world right
girls
you're not girl at that point you're a teenager i don't i'm not i'm not going
on wikipedia again i
don't know what the word is okay there's plenty of the chicks you could be
hanging out with all
right that's it and here's the thing here's a tip for you when you hang out
with them don't talk
about your old relationship or about some other woman they don't they they well
yeah
i don't want to hear it just go have a beer with one of your buddies out in the
woods however the
you do it just be like yeah you know i i don't encourage underage drinking
whatever the you guys do
that's when you vent uh what you what you have to do is every time it it starts
to scab over she calls
up or you call her and then you got an open wound again what you got to do is
you got it you got to
heal like a x-man and then the next time you see her and i guarantee if you don't
give a she's
gonna be all over you and want to hook up and this is what she have to do you
gotta not do it
and then watch how quickly that all that flirty turns into anger and then she's
gonna yell at you
and then just be keep you cool and be like this is why i don't hang out with
you
because you're crazy
something like that and i would also ask some more adults who actually actually
know the
people involved in this story including yourself okay all right good luck to
you