Name: Bill Burr - Bank Robbery Story
Uploaded: 2024-01-18T15:30:02.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Bank Robbery Story' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-01-18. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Bank Robbery Story' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-01-18. Transcript available.

all right bank robbery story dear mr burr finally a little respect on this
podcast love the podcast
this person says so back in the late 90s i was living in tampa for college and
worked at a bank
near bush gardens what a great place to go to college tampa huh fucking all the
hot chicks
walking around all the titty bars i mean you're not studying um college is just
to delay the rest of
your miserable life so go have a good fucking time unless you're going after a
dream other than that
if you just picked a fucking major go to go to college in tampa at least you'll
have those
memories um jesus that was negative sorry uh so back in the uh late 90s i was
living in tampa for
college and worked at a bank near bush gardens which you know in tampa that
might be the name
of a fucking strip club i don't like the landing strip come on down to bush
gardens
wall the wall pubes um so after opening one morning a guy came in with his t-shirt
pulled over his head think beef is doing cornholio there's a great reference i
am cornholio
i need tiki for my bunghole um he walked up to the teller next to me and yelled
give me hundreds
hundreds and fifties she just froze and said what he had a tire iron in one
he came in to rob the bank like he was going to clean up the neighborhood
he had a tire iron in one hand and kept using the other to hold open the neck
hole to see out of it
it kept closing up because he was shaking so bad oh this poor bastard i said i
think he wants your
larger bills but this dumb ass doesn't see this bulletproof glass i started
laughing
oh my god you just took but you took a gamble they didn't have anything else
the guy took the iron and hit the glass and didn't even scratch it he ran
outside with nothing still
attempting to hold the neck hole of his shirt open my manager was pissed but i
said he wasn't my
in my teller window so technically i didn't not cooperate with his with the
demands
dude you got a fucking law degree in your future man you should become a lawyer
um anyway
a detective came in with two fbi agents and they were watching the video
they called me in when they saw me laughing on the video and asked
what was said they laughed when i told them
i gotta get some fbi agents any fbi agent you want to come in just say you work
for a certain
service and i want to hear all your dumb fucking uh criminal stories um i got
transferred to a
different branch a month later and that one didn't have glass in the lobby i'm
sure a fuck you
plan by the manager absolutely they wanted you to get your mind right oh this
guy thinks he's all
bulletproof behind the glass we're gonna send him to a fucking our first bank
from 1860 that we never
fucking did a remodel on anyway ps now i'm a detective i was gonna say i knew
you had something beyond
this job in your future i think of that day every time i go to a bank robbery
come back to south florida soon
wow wow you got balls man you got balls
i mean yeah just give them the money you put the tracker in there and then you
know
go eat your brown bag lunch and be happy nothing happened to you
but thank god you didn't or else you know i'd have nothing to talk about during
this part of the podcast
jesus christ the dumb doesn't know what did you say to him i think he wants
your larger bills but this
dumb ass doesn't see the bulletproof glass well i guess once you have a t-shirt
over
your goddamn head that's probably a good i good indication he doesn't have a
gun