Name: Alligators are KILLING Machines! | Bill Burr
Uploaded: 2025-05-31T19:22:11.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Alligators are KILLING Machines! | Bill Burr' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-05-31. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Alligators are KILLING Machines! | Bill Burr' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-05-31. Transcript available.

tastes like chicken. No, it doesn't. It doesn't. It doesn't. None of those
meats taste like chicken.
They taste like chicken that, like, is this going bad? Like, when did you buy
this chicken? That's
the closest it tastes to chicken. I had alligator when I was in Jacksonville,
Florida, because what
else are you going to do? Huh? Hit on some 300-pound waitress at an Applebee's?
It's either
that or an alligator sandwich, as far as I could tell. I wasn't there a long
time. No disrespect,
Jacksonville. Oh, so I forgot the rest of that story. So then I went, and we
believed the locals
that alligator tasted like chicken, and it was fucking gross. It tasted like a
reptile.
It looked like undercooked chicken, is what I would say. Goddamn, those things
are just like,
they're just fucking killing machines. I feel like sharks are like, you know,
as far as predators go,
they're like as known as much as like the Foo Fighters. Red Hot Chili Peppers
are like fucking
oasis, right? Like people, like sharks could sell out an arena. You know what I
mean? Like when you go to
an aquarium, that's the big fucking thing. If they have sharks, people are like,
oh, fuck, it's a shark.
I'll tell you what. I've been to a bunch of aquariums, and I've never been
afraid of the sharks.
I've looked at them. I mean, other than like, wow, look at that fucking thing,
right?
But I've been to some of those alligator farms in Florida. Fuck that. The whole
fucking time you're
there, that's all you're thinking about is that thing fucking eat. Those things
do not. First of all,
they're always hungry, right? They have the munchies like, I think weed has
always been legal with the
fucking alligators. Those things, anything you throw in the water, they fucking
go in,
and they fucking eat it. Now some PETA person's going to come on and be like,
that's because they
underfeed them. So when they throw it in there, there's a feeding frenzy. That's
just for you,
the tourists. Animals are not entertainment. They have just as much rice as you
do. I understand that,
and I agree with that. However, if some fucking lunatic caught a hundred of
them and he's throwing
them full chickens, I want to see him eat them. I can get that for $16, right?
And a crazy hat that
said I fucking went there and saw him eat a chicken. I went to Al's alligator
farm and watched him eat a
full fucking chicken. Jesus fucking Christ. What is the acid in those things'
stomachs that they could
just eat fucking things? Bones and all? Yeah. Terrifying.