Name: The Women who FAKED Being Lost at Sea! | Bill Burr
Uploaded: 2025-06-14T21:09:21.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Women who FAKED Being Lost at Sea! | Bill Burr' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-06-14. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Women who FAKED Being Lost at Sea! | Bill Burr' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-06-14. Transcript available.

Funny sailing story. Hey, Billy, breadfruit. A couple years ago, this really
funny sailing story
came up where a lesbian couple and two innocent dogs, where a lesbian couple,
parentheses, and two innocent dogs, they held hostage, tried to fake a survival
story.
They held the dogs hostage from who? Other dogs? Their dog family? How do you
send a ransom note
to a dog? I don't understand this. I don't understand this story at all.
Jennifer Appel and Tasha Fuyaba
were stranded for five months after their boat's motor failed in May, and then
the sail snapped off.
The Honolulu natives also had to battle three massive storms and two shark
attacks. A couple years
ago, this really funny sailing story came up where a lesbian couple,
parentheses, and two innocent dogs
they held hostage. Were they not their dogs? Tried to fake a survival story. I
guess the plan was to
write a book about it afterward and sell the rights to Hollywood? Well, I mean,
somebody would have bought
that idea. Two lesbians go on a fucking sailing trip. It's like Tom Hanks, Cast
Away, meets the L Word
letter. With a couple of dogs. They would buy that. Long story short, they
claimed a storm took them
adrift. This is what they based everything on. And where everything,
parentheses, on the boat, allegedly
broke during the storm. Mast, communications, etc. But the storm was made up.
It wasn't in the weather
logs. It didn't happen. Why didn't they just write the story? National Weather
Service Coast Guard say
that although there were small craft advisories for some squalls in that area,
that they had no record,
no prediction, no reports of a storm of the scale that you're talking about.
How do you come to terms
with that? Well, I understand fish stories. You don't have to go out and go
fake the story. They're not in
the business. They should have just wrote it rather than faked it. But wait a
minute. Now they should
make a movie about them faking a lesbian castaway movie. There's your movie.
Now it's a comedy.
All of a sudden, we had two wonderful seamen come running up to us. It's like
that fucking Eddie
Murphy and Steve Martin movie. Bowfinger. What do you say? Awesome. Awesome.
Then they deliberately
floated around in the sea for six months with no intention to jerry-rig some
sort of solution.
I mean, what they attempted to do, this is the movie. They had inconsistent
bullshit answers for
everything. You figure six months together, they could get their story straight.
How tiger sharks
tried to eat up the boat in coordinated attacks. Oh my God. I would have a beer
with this couple,
but not two. Not two beers. They apparently had distress beacons, but never
used it. After six
months, they got rescued first by a Taiwanese fishing boat, but that was not
the story ending they wanted
and worked so hard for. So they claimed the Taiwanese guys tried to kill them.
Donald Trump. It's true.
It's true. These Taiwanese, Taiwanese fucking sailors. They're eating the lesbians
and the dogs.
So they claimed the Taiwanese guys tried to kill them and they waited for the U.S.
Navy ship instead.
They must have had food on the boat for six months because they looked as fat
and as happy as ever.
Complete clowns. Hey, I mean, there's something funny about this shit though.
The worst part is how they abandoned their stupid boat in the ocean. That is
not something you want
floating around out there for no real reason. If you hit 50 foot ghost sailboat
during bad weather or in
the dark and you do that because two idiots tried to fabricate a story, not
good. Oh yeah, there you go.
They did a Matt Lauer interview. Very funny stuff. Worth a watch. If you think
I'm making this crap up.
I mean, them just faking all of that is, that's a fucking movie right there,
isn't it?
It's at least a fucking Netflix series.
I was entertained.
Wildly entertaining progressive tale.
You call it the lion lesbians.
And then whatever reason, you make them, you make them speak in like a pirate
accent.
Arr, we're adrift, but we're still licking our fucking beavers.
Okay, God bless them. You know, it's a tough economy.
You got to get out there sometimes and, uh, fake your fucking, you know, fake
the fact that you're, uh,
I don't know, out there doing shit when you're not really doing it.
And then you make it about, uh, what you were pretending you were doing.
You got to get out there sometimes and, uh, I don't know, out there, I don't
know.