Name: Bill Burr Goes OFF on Hunters!
Uploaded: 2025-07-17T16:00:53.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr Goes OFF on Hunters!' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-07-17. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr Goes OFF on Hunters!' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-07-17. Transcript available.

hunters you know they gotta have the stupid heads of the thing it's like oh
did you kill that well yeah you had a gun it didn't you shot an unarmed deer
all right go go make your venison sandwich you don't gotta make a mockery
of the thing look what I did it's like Jesus Christ dude get a fucking opening
line learn how to hit on a woman gotta put some fucking beaver head up on the
goddamn wall the fuck is act like you've been there oh did you shoot that
varmint well that's amazing you just one shot but you have to shoot a couple of
times you get a fucking scope on it it's got one of those little red things I
mean how many much more advantage do you need you dress like grass and a shrub
of course it didn't see you walked right up to it you shot it right in the
fucking
face fantastic you know how to do that that's a great skill it is a great skill
if for some reason the supermarkets run out of food that's a fantastic fucking
skill and I respect it but you know you don't gotta put the fucking head on the
wall I respect fishermen more because they're going out to sea
right what do they have they're not out there fucking shooting the fish going
come
here cake cake they're not out there fucking dressed like water
you know they're not fucking shooting depth charges off the back of the boat
they got a fucking rod and reel old school I mean they do have a fish finder
let's be honest
you know and then so many of them go around calling people fucking snowflakes
it's like
what about all your fucking you got more shit to help you kill that fucking
thing than a
than fucking golfers you ever get going to golf course those assholes they got
a scope too
like they're gonna shoot something here's the thing too I'm not going peter
here I'm not saying
that you shouldn't shoot an arm unarmed animal if you want to go make yourself
a you know
badger uh slider whatever the fuck it is you want to do I think it's fantastic
that you know how to do
that putting deer urine behind your ear like how many more advantages do you
need with your little
stupid and collapsible tree house that you put up there and you can sit there
with your dumb
duck boots on there's seen those boots you can literally walk into a river and
your feet don't
get wet it's like what are we doing here back in the day I mean there's just
shit you had to go
through I still think like at the end of the day the bow and arrow is the way
to go it just is
it's quiet doesn't make your ears ring afterwards I don't know like if you're
gonna kill your neighbor
I mean a bow and arrow who heard it nobody you just wait every morning you know
you're just sitting
across the street you're getting his tendencies down
every morning he comes out in his robe and slippers walks all the way down to
the end of
the driveway to get the paper nobody gets the paper anymore it's gonna be hard
to kill your neighbor
back in the day you didn't have to go in your house in the person's house to
kill your neighbor
you're just waiting for him to come walking down with his alcoholic legs you
know those skinny pasty
legs and then you know from the waist up you're shaped like a fucking keg of
beer
old highball Harry coming down there him and his wife haven't had sex and
fucking since the Nixon
administration somehow they still stay together both of them bleary-eyed him
with the booze her with
her quote knitting club that she goes to guys knit for a long time don't you
honey pretty dolled up to
go knit anyway she comes down to the end of the driveway that stupid fucking
robe doesn't even go
down to his knees you know it's the old school male bathrobe you're actually
dressed like a whore
you just didn't know it right you come down and they do that awful like bend at
the waist as you
can bend your knees at the same time that awkward sort of like I can't do a
full squat to get this piece
of paper and I can't fully uh bend over to get the newspaper so I gotta do like
I gotta put the
responsibility on my knees and my lower back 50 50 okay the knees if you can
get me down to here I can
bend down the rest of the way and pick this up all right and you're across the
street going that's what
I'm gonna get him that's what I'm gonna get him I'm gonna get him right after
he stands upright
and he has to take that breath of like all right I did it I didn't face plant
knock myself out that's
when you gotta write the chest and he goes down right next to his fucking
mercury marquee you know
what's perfect what would be perfect is right as you release the arrow the
automatic sprinklers went
on so it went right right as they turn on that that's right when the fucking
arrow is cutting through the
wind that's how you used to take out a CEO back in the day and they blame it on
these goddamn kids and no
one knew that it wasn't actually it was a it was a professional hit from a
jealous CEO across the
street that coveted whatever country whatever shit brown earth-toned fucking
four-door sedan
full-size v8 American car that that man was given by his company
was given by his company's company's company's company's company's company's
company's company's company's company's company's company's company