Name: Why You Could NEVER Be A Plumber! | Bill burr
Uploaded: 2025-07-26T17:00:39.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Why You Could NEVER Be A Plumber! | Bill burr' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-07-26. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Why You Could NEVER Be A Plumber! | Bill burr' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-07-26. Transcript available.

um all right blue collar plumber dear billy baldwin uh been listening since
2016 and love
anything you are associated with thank you i recently listened to the the monday
morning
podcast for july 14th 2025 all right that would be the last one and a listener
wrote in about
plumber versus hardware and would like to chime in i worked both oh oh yeah
yeah yeah there was
a big argument where the plumber said he was blue collar and said a guy who
worked in a hardware
store was not blue collar so my argument was like all right well he doesn't
have a trade
but he's not white collar what is he dude you know carla you work in a store um
i worked with
okay so this person said i worked in both i think plumbing is more blue collar
and difficult
all right well i don't think that there would the argument was whether or not
it was more or less
blue collar i i thought the argument was i'm a plumber i'm blue collar you're
uh you work in a
hardware store you're not um blue collar at all i don't know anyway quick story
knowing we will be
replacing all the shit pipes in the underground garage we put posts all over
the apartment
complex giving days and times not to flush all right let me read that now i
know what i'm talking
about here quick story knowing we will we will be replacing all the shit pipes
in the underground
garage literally the shit pipes i thought you just meant the bad plump uh the
old pipes the shit pipes
in the underground garage we posted all over the apartment complex giving times
and days not to flush
and of course the moment we took out the main shit pipe we started hearing rumbling
we instantly started
moving away from the pipe and water comes flying out along with the super turd
that bounced off the
toolbox and hit me in my calf oh my god i was so angry until this tiny old lady
came down and apologized
and she said she couldn't hold it and had to get to an appointment and felt bad
oh my god dude why did
you tell me that story whatever the point of that story was you won plumbing is
more blue collar because
you got hit in the leg by a fucking shit from somebody from the greatest
generation i mean i think you can
be a carpenter and that doesn't happen but i wouldn't say that they're any more
blue collar than you
jesus christ can we just just stop here for a second and just you know take a
time to mentally thank
plumbers and what they have to go through oh my god i can tell you one thing
plumbers aren't doing
going home and watching scat listen i i see that all day at work i it does
nothing for me
it's like being a bouncer at a titty bar you go in there every night there's
just naked women walking
around after a while like maybe it just doesn't do anything for you anymore
well that was one of the
more bizarre stories i've ever heard i've been puked on twice i've been puked
on twice i can tell you that
one time my whole family when i was growing up we got food poisoning i was in
the process of puking
and we were living in this split entry house not split entry a a a two family
house so one of the side doors
you know to the original house before they slammed the wall in the middle of
the house
was they uh they just you'd like open the side door to get that was our back
door to the front half of
the house that we owned um you'd open it and there was like a bathroom right
when you opened it like a
half a bath toilet and a sink and then there was a kitchen and then the living
room and then the
stairs and you went up to the family room on the other side of that right so i
was puking in that
half a bathroom and my brother had to puke and he came running in and i was
already puking and the
fucking sink was right there but he you know we were young we were kids and he's
just thinking you puke in
the toilet so he just fucking puked a guy like my hands were holding the ball
as i was puking and then
he puked on my fucking head so i was done puking and he was continuing to puke
and i was just giving
him uppercuts into his stomach trying to beat the shit out of him so then my
mother and father were
laughing and you know as my mother was like washing my hair and i was like
crying going it isn't funny
and like they were just cracking up because that's what you did with your kids
back then you just
fucking laughed it was funny then another time i was a struggling comedian so i
was taking a bus
to la guardia airport and we were right there and this guy fucking stood up
with no warning and started
to walking back towards the back double doors and he just projectile vomited
hit this poor old lady in
in the right shoulder and then it ricocheted off and hit i remember my sock my
shoe and the side of my
luggage and he didn't say anything it just got off the bus i was like what the
fuck and then we stopped
and i just went into the nearest airport oh my god oh my god i had to fucking
throw everything out
all right that's that's what that story just reminded me of um but you know
what i would
rather have that happen than get hit in the ankle with the shit
this is gross i i don't do gross out humor all right
you