Name: You Are Driving An IPAD! | Bill Burr
Uploaded: 2025-08-05T17:30:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'You Are Driving An IPAD! | Bill Burr' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-08-05. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'You Are Driving An IPAD! | Bill Burr' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-08-05. Transcript available.

anyway so my wife my wife uh she has an electric car and she's basically
driving a ipad and i
swear to god i really feel like i could just grab the central center console
and start fucking
shaking it and i i literally think the whole car would come apart um it is an
astounding work of
plastic it really is all the weight is the battery i'm telling you everything
else just looks like
you could just go up and like you know how bullies used to flick you back of
your ear
in class i feel like i could get like anything hanging off the car if i just flicked
it like
that it's gone it's got so much it's so over designed like i was driving in the
car with my
kids and i tried to turn on the air conditioning i couldn't turn the air
conditioning on because i
didn't know what the password was so it wanted me to sign in as a guest to turn
the fucking air
conditioning on it's like what what are we doing here it's also probably taking
pictures of you
every five seconds like your phone does it's really amazing like how much
corporations are
just openly spying on everybody and the government isn't doing it yeah it's
just they're just the
shit that they focus on you know what i mean let's get these these these
immigrants who are
working their asses off on our farms let's let's rip their families apart but
by all means by all means
let's let's let these corporations do what they're doing and look you're
starting to see the pushback
i mean that incident there that they're trying to say was about the nfl you
know what the fuck was
going on with that thing that was that conglomerate that's buying up all the
houses
and getting just just an astounding level of greed and there was i don't buy
that story for a second
you know i i think that these these corporations have pushed people to the brink
and when you're
dealing with people that are like borderline fucking nuts you start doing that
to people and and they
don't give a shit happens all i know is they don't have any empathy for us i i
do know that and if you're
in life that way you know i don't know evidently shit happens so anyway plowing
ahead so my wife's
car my wife it has the whole fucking i'm telling you you're driving an ipad so
it has uh information
on the inside of the windshield there's a speedometer like half a click down
with my eyeball
but for some reason you know they also have it on the dashboard i'm on the wind
inside of the
windshield like i'm flying an apache helicopter right so i you know i went on
youtube and i tried
to figure it out i couldn't figure it out so i was literally driving down the
street i took my hat off
and i put it over the the camera but then the reflection my hat was on the
windshield and then
i realized i was wearing a dark colored shirt so i took my shirt off i was
driving an electric car
shirtless it doesn't even make sense like it makes sense to drive my pickup you
know this is like
total white trash redneck you know shirtless like i don't know how many people
owned this truck before
i had it but the amount of people that were shirtless in this fucking truck
driving it
saying god knows what i mean this car this thing's got a gun rack on it i mean
this this truck
is the real deal it's hurt everything
i got this truck out of georgia this truck has heard some things i like to
think whoever was
driving this truck was happy when hank aaron broke the all-time home run record
but you know you never
know so uh oh billy all over the map here so my wife figured out how to shut
that information off
and it totally changed our day and now i don't mind her car it wasn't this shit
on the dashboard
it wasn't that i had to sign in to turn on the air conditioning i think what it
really was was just
that shit on the windshield and it would drive me fucking insane and it really
had nothing to do
with the car it had to do with the lack of choice and the lack of help you know
when i was by myself
trying it just tapped in to my my sit you sit down and shut the fuck up
childhood that it just was
triggering that shit so uh i hung out with it today and it wasn't on and like
it was to the point i was
like you have to drive this car because if if i'm driving this car i'm gonna
ruin your day which is
gonna ruin my day and then you know we're all gonna talk about how bill needs
to do this and bill
needs to do that and get better at this and get better at that but no one's
gonna talk about the
fucking you know ipad that we're driving down the goddamn street that i need to
sign into
it's like like i i don't it's i just don't understand these fucking cars there's
so much shit i don't
can understand anymore um and i gotta get caught up i need to learn how to find
a menu in a hotel room
how to turn the lights on how to turn a tv on and off it's a lot of shit i used
to know how to do
what was wrong with the menu what was wrong with it fucking being out there oh
covid we don't have
it anymore you couldn't get a fucking covid off of a menu ever what is this barcode
thing that i'm
sticking my phone up to does that get into my phone and then you take all my
shit
do i sound like a flat earther right now i don't know what's going on
you
what's going on and i don't know what's going on and i don't know what's going
on and i don't know
i don't know what's going on and i don't know what's going on and i don't know
what it's going on