Name: How ANYONE Can Write a Funny Speech | Carol Leifer w/ Bill Burr
Uploaded: 2025-08-23T19:30:06.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'How ANYONE Can Write a Funny Speech | Carol Leifer w/ Bill Burr' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-08-23. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'How ANYONE Can Write a Funny Speech | Carol Leifer w/ Bill Burr' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-08-23. Transcript available.

My generation, you know, if I hadn't started so late with kids, like if you're
like 57 like me.
Yeah.
You're, you know, oldest to second oldest are probably just getting married now.
Uh-huh.
And two things, like what are some of the key points to giving these speeches
and how if you're actually hiding behind being a dick but you're actually a big-hearted
person that's going to fall apart, how do you maintain your composure so you
can say the nice things that you want to say?
Right, right.
But not make anybody feel like they're watching somebody whose dog just died.
Because that's the problem I have.
Yeah.
All right.
Here to help you.
Okay.
So the number one rule that you already mentioned is not going on too long.
Literally five minutes and under.
Because people get up there, you know.
Five minutes and under.
Yes.
Even if it's your own daughter.
Even if it's your own daughter.
Can't do six minutes.
Okay.
This is a late night set.
Exactly.
Okay.
Right.
Don't you usually get everything you want to say in a late night set in five
minutes?
Sure you do.
Okay.
I'm just relieved when it's over.
Right.
Yeah.
That's all late night was.
It went well.
I got the thumbs up.
Yeah.
But when a regular person gets up there, you got to keep it tight.
You know, you don't want to sit there.
Your phone's already updated twice.
Yep.
Let's get on with it.
Let's get on with it.
Leave them wanting more.
Yes.
And that's also a stand-up rule.
Leave them wanting more.
Another thing that people do that I think is so bizarre.
Have you seen people get up?
They start talking about the person.
You have no idea who they are to the person they're celebrating.
Right.
You just start talking and you're trying to figure out, is this his brother?
Is this his friend?
You know, it becomes like an episode of Dateline.
Right.
Like, who is this?
Right.
So, you have to say who you are to the person.
Is there anything in there about feeling like an imposter?
Like, you shouldn't be there?
Well, it's not, you know, the events that you go to or speak at.
Right.
It's a million comedians.
It is good to know who you're following because it's like any comedy club
lineup.
Right.
You don't want to follow somebody that strong.
But your regular person, you know, the thing that we also say in the book and
try to convey
to people is the bar is set very low.
Yeah.
For a person.
When people get, oh, I don't know what to do.
I'm nervous.
You're supposed to be nervous.
We go out as stand-ups.
We have butterflies.
You know, it's good.
It gives you energy.
But people are rooting for you.
And I think once people know that about giving a speech, it really can calm the
nerves.
Self-deprecating is always like, I feel like that is like, all right, so this
person, it
gives them something to root for.
Like, if you go up there and you're like, all right, I'm amazing, then there's
no way
to, you have to be amazing.
Right.
And then if you're not quite amazing, then people are like, yeah, they give you
that energy.
But if you're up there going like, all right, you know.
Yeah.
I'm a carpenter.
I don't usually do this.
Ha, ha, ha.
You know, my son.
And then if you, I also think that in those things, keeping it tight, like if
you really
want to get compliments.
Yeah.
At the end.
One of the best things about a speech is it being concise.
Yes.
Get up there and, and, and, and, and we, all, all comedians have been guilty of
staying
too long and then trying to find that, that, that next, a laugh big enough to
get off on.
Yeah.
And it's just like, ugh.
Not necessary.
No.
And then you're also digging the hole deeper for the next comedian who's got to
come up
there with this.
Right.
Yeah.
This worn out.
I also think what's funny about this is as much as it's a generous thing for
you to do,
it's also coming from a place of like, if I have to sit and watch another
person with
no clue.
Right.
One more.
And a microphone.
I can't take it.
Ugh.