Name: Bill Burr's Advice to SINGLE Men in their 40s | Bill Burr
Uploaded: 2025-09-24T18:30:10.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr's Advice to SINGLE Men in their 40s | Bill Burr' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-09-24. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr's Advice to SINGLE Men in their 40s | Bill Burr' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-09-24. Transcript available.

43 year old single guy. Hey Bill, I'm a 43 year old and trying to figure some
things out. Hey dude,
I didn't get married till I was 45. He goes, I got divorced about five years
ago and then spent a
full year contemplate, completely alone. Not even a single date. I don't think
that's a bad thing.
You know, you were married for five years. You gave yourself 12 months to
fucking, you got to
remember who you are. You know, there's a lot of fucking shit out there about
women losing
themselves in relationships and coming out and having to, you know, get back in
touch with
themselves, which is a hundred percent true, but that's a two way street. It
happens both people.
If you're in a relationship that doesn't work out, both of you guys got your
head spun around
one way or the other. So I recommend being alone like that. That's good. The
person goes on to say
after that, I wound up in a really toxic relationship that dragged on for
almost two years. All right.
Now you got, you got to start looking in the mirror there. Maybe go to therapy,
figure out what you're
doing here. He said, I've been out of that for about a year now and I haven't
been with anyone since
been trying to put the work in on myself. I go to a boxing gym about four days
a week, drop 20 pounds.
I like this seeing a counselor twice a month. There you go. Dude, I could take
some advice from you. I need
to do that. And I've got a really good job where I supervise about 25 people on
a plumbing and welding
crew. I also play and write the music in a metal band. I'm sorry, dude. Are you
living the fucking
dream right now? You got a great job. You're boxing. You drop 20 pounds. You're
talking to somebody to
work on yourself and you write music and play in a metal band. Dude, like it's
just like he said,
think Lamb of God, Pantera. And I don't know this band. Amon Amarth. I'm going
to check them out if
they're in the vein of Lamb of God and Pantera. Chris Adler, Vinnie Paul, Art
Cruz now with Lamb of
God. See, I know them all, man. But here's the thing. I've never felt more
depressed in my life.
Yeah. You know why, dude? Because you're still a human being. You need to find
love. That's all right.
That's all right. You know, it's good that you know that. He said, most days I'm
just going through the
emotions and putting on a fake persona to get through the day. But when I'm
home,
the feeling of desperation and loneliness is almost too much. I've got people
you could technically call
friends, but I never hang out with them. Well, why don't you hang? I'm terribly
introverted and deal
with pretty severe social anxiety. All right. Well, this is good. You're
talking to a counselor.
And why don't you do this? Why don't you start with just one hang a month, one
day a month?
I love that you have all of this anxiety, but you're playing in a band. I mean,
this is very typical
of, you know, people that perform. I still have a lot of social anxiety. And I
go to events and just,
you know, I want to, you know, air quote, want to get the fuck out of there.
The reality is,
I don't know how to like do it. So I get in my head and then I'm just, you know,
I'm a mess.
So I relate to that. This person goes on to say, I've been listening to your
podcast for years and
I'm looking for some advice. What would you tell a guy who's done all this work
on the outside,
but still feels like he's barely holding it together on the inside? Appreciate
your time.
Thanks for all the laughs. Go fuck yourself, dude. I think you're doing amazing
that I was going to
say to talk to a professional. It seems like you're doing that. If you want to
grow, this is just my
opinion and I'm not a professional. Obviously I have found that you have to
give yourself permission
to fail. So you have this anxiety. I would just, you know, once a month, once a
week, whatever you
can handle, like I am going, like I literally back in the day, I used to say to
myself, I am going to
go into the deli and I am going to make small talk with the person behind the
register. And by small
talk, all it literally was, was just saying, Hey, how are you? You know? And
they would say good
or whatever. And if they said, you know, if I said, Hey, how's it going? And
they said, good.
And then if they said something back, you know, yeah, I'm doing good. You, yeah,
I'm fine. I would
count that. And that would be a victory. And then like, I would just use that
to just expand. It's
the same thing. Like you got a band, right? And let's say that you're selling
tickets in the town
that you're in, but the next town over, they don't know you. So that's the next
step. Let's be known
in two towns and then three towns. And then in this County and then in this
city and then
in this state. And that's how you do it. I mean, obviously you don't have to be
that big
with your social life. So you just sort of baby step your way out of this stuff.
And, you know,
I actually think that the anxiety and all of that, a lot of times that's what
steers you in
to performing, being in a band, being a comedian, being an actor or whatever,
given tours of your city. And you're the person on the microphone. Like it's,
it's like human beings
need some sort of, um, interaction, human interaction. So, uh, it's actually a
positive
thing that you're depressed. If you weren't depressed and you were spending
this amount
of time alone, you might be a psycho. So the fact that you're depressed, this
is all, you
know, I think normal. And your, your soul telling you that this person by
yourself is not who you
are. You're actually a really social person and you're actually going to be
good at it.
It's just whatever happened to you as a kid, which you'll work out through
counseling,
you just need to push through it. And I've found with therapy that there's a
lot of shit in your
head that you think it's a mountain because it happened to you when you were a
little kid.
So your universe was really small. So these problems seem gigantic. And by the
time you're an adult,
it's, it's, it really ends up just stepping up onto, onto a curb. And I still,
to this day,
I will make a mountain out of a molehill. I get all in my head that these,
these, these ideas,
these things, I just, I make rules in my head that I can't do that. I can't do
it. I can't do it.
And I have worked really hard to push that voice down, to tell it, to shut the
fuck up.
You know, anything I could do, like if I ever think something, I would, you
know,
I read things to cancel it out loud, you know, which was a weird period in my
life because I
would be walking down the street next to people. And all of a sudden, randomly,
I would just
say out loud, no, fuck that. So you're not alone, dude. I am in a lot of ways,
uh, still where you're
at. And, and it's caused like problems in my relationship because my wife is
very social
and she sees who I really am at home. And then I go out and I, and I, I pull
back or I get negative
and I start trashing. I go to my safe space, you know, and I start trashing
wherever we go and it
ruins her good time. And then she gets mad at me and then I get mad and blah,
blah, blah. And it just
becomes this fucking nightmare. So I've really had to work on being like, take
a deep breath. You know,
no one's going to beat the fuck out of you. No one's going to hurt you. Nothing
bad's going to
happen. You're literally just going out to dinner. Like I've literally had to
do that. So, um, you
know, if I can do it, so can you, I think you're doing the right thing. You're
putting the work in
and, um, you're going to get on the other side of it. And then one day, like I'm
trying to help you,
you're going to try to help somebody else. And that's, that's how it works.
Okay. So,
you know, good luck to you. I think you can do it. And I'm really psyched that
you're playing a
metal band. I think that's cool as shit. You actually write in the music. That's
pretty
awesome. All right. There you go. That's my positive words for the week.