Name: Bill Burr's Advice If You Have A HOT Brazilian Maid | Bill Burr
Uploaded: 2025-10-28T20:14:24.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr's Advice If You Have A HOT Brazilian Maid | Bill Burr' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-10-28. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr's Advice If You Have A HOT Brazilian Maid | Bill Burr' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-10-28. Transcript available.

Hot maid issue. All right. Dear Billy Blue-Footed Booby. I don't even know what
that means.
I got a dilemma and I'm seeking your professional advice. All right. I am not a
professional.
Okay. You have a dilemma and you don't have the time or the money to talk to
professionals. So
now you're asking a comedian. Okay. So take all of this with a grain of salt. I
am a 33-year-old
American, American, living in Brazil. And I've been here for almost 10 years
now. And I love it.
I originally came to study abroad, but ended up staying and getting married to
a Brazilian girl.
Believe me, I understand all of that. Once you go down there, those are some of
the most beautiful
women in the fucking world. Absolute goddesses. That whole continent, I would
say arguably has the
most beautiful women in the fucking world. We have no intentions of moving to
the States, although
we're also not that couple that says, fuck the USA, could never live there. We
just prefer living here.
People like to politicize our choice to live in Brazil over the USA. Anything
for people to pick
a fucking side. Yeah. A hundred percent. Anyway, recently we hired a maid to
clean our apartment
twice a month. It's a common practice here, especially among couples or
families that work.
Brazilians are clean freaks. So we got this contract from a friend and I sent
her a message and she came
over to clean two weeks ago. The problem is that she is a fucking 10. She's in
her 20s, has a tight ass,
bronze skin and a beautiful smile. She is gorgeous. I work from home Mondays
and Fridays and my wife works
in an office every day of the week. That means that it makes the most sense for
the maid to come over
on Monday or Friday. Just going to come out and say, I'm not going to cheat on
my wife. That is not where
this email is going. I was going to say, I'm glad it isn't because had I known
you were going to go in
that direction, I would have all of these given a lot of details. While the
maid is super friendly
and nice, she seems respectful of my relationship. Parentheses, LOL for now.
Anyway, my issue is that
my wife doesn't know what she looks like. And I know that when she finds out,
she is not going to
approve. She isn't overly jealous, but Brazilian jealous in the sense that if
there is a hot chick
around, she gets protected of me. I think American women are like that. It is
kind of reasonable as
girls are often flirty and hot here. Dude, this sounds like a fucking porno.
This is your life. Here's another side note. I lived in Portugal for a while
and worked at a
hostel there. While I was working there, I hooked up and then dated this
Brazilian maid who cleaned the
hotel. My wife is aware of this story and we weren't together at the time. Yeah,
dude. Yeah. Yeah.
Okay. I get it. So my dilemma is this. Do I tell my wife that this new maid is
hot?
She has already been over to clean twice and I haven't said anything. I don't
know if it would
be weird if my wife finds out on her own in the future. She could be like, why
wouldn't you tell
me? Is there something you are hiding? My other issue is that I don't want to
tell my wife she is
hot and then we have to fire her. She does good work and is super friendly.
What would you do?
Tell the wife, ignore it. Thanks a million. And I love listening to you
to remind me of home. All right. This is go fuck yourself in Brazilian
Portuguese.
They toma no sue. No coo. I don't know how to say it.
What would I do? Yeah, I would. I would tell her. I would tell her. I would
just say, listen,
the new maid is great. She's absolutely killing it. But I mean, this is what
she looks like.
I don't have any. I don't want to do anything, but I'm good. I just don't want
you to be seeing,
you know, like this is this is really hard for me to say, because I don't know
how your wife is.
My wife is cool as shit. She would just look at me like, oh, man, she's a
fucking smoke show.
And that would be it. She wouldn't that wouldn't bother her. But if you if this
is something that
would bother you, that's what I would say. I would just say, listen, the new
maid's doing a great job
and all that. But like, you know, I just want to make sure. I don't know if
there's no way to bring
it up with her without her. Like, well, why are you telling me? Because then
she'll flip it and be
like, so what? She's beautiful. Why should I be concerned? Why? What are you
thinking? Here's what
I like. I don't know if you're not going to fuck her, then what's the problem?
So what I would do?
Yeah. You know what? I wouldn't say anything. And then if your wife has a
problem, there's all I'm
doing is protecting you in the argument, because I feel like if you actually
tell her you're going
to get into an argument from the way you're describing her. So what I would do,
I just
wouldn't say anything and be like, yeah, when she brings it up, be like, first
of all, I'm married
to you. Second of all, that woman's in like her fucking 20s. Oh, well, you did
this before. Yeah.
When I was single, I wasn't with you. And then I would just keep it on that.
And as long as you're
not fucking her, what is the problem? What is the fucking problem? The problem
is that you wrote in here
and you said she's a fucking smoke show. So I don't know, dude, I'm choosing to
believe you that you
have no intentions of banging her. But like I said, I mean, I'll be honest with
you. That whole story
sounds like the beginning of a porno to me. And in the porno, the wife comes
home and is upset for
half a second and then joins you. I don't think that that will happen in real
life, but I don't live in
Brazil.
Thank you.