Name: We Might Be Drunk Podcast Ep 11 with Mark Normand & Sam Morril Hot Toddy - Juice Bomb IPA
Uploaded: 2021-06-26T14:00:08.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'We Might Be Drunk Podcast Ep 11 with Mark Normand & Sam Morril Hot Toddy - Juice Bomb IPA' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-06-26. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'We Might Be Drunk Podcast Ep 11 with Mark Normand & Sam Morril Hot Toddy - Juice Bomb IPA' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-06-26. Transcript available.

We Might Be Drunk Podcast Ep 11 with Mark Normand & Sam Morril Hot Toddy - Juice Bomb IPA

One more drink, one more drink
You know in the morning for sure we gon' stink
One more round, one more round
It's 5 a.m. you pricks, the bar keep round
This is what we do, catch up for a few
We'll riff and talk some shit and then we'll sleep till two
Talk some shit and then we'll sleep till two
Hey, hey, folks, here we are
We might be drunk, it's midday on a Sunday
It's beautiful out in New York City
Man, yeah, what are you drinking? I need to know
Oh, by the way, what do you got, a high chair there?
What's that in the back? You got neck support
I got neck support because I've been in physical therapy for my neck
For so fucking long
Really?
Wasn't that expensive? Got it on Amazon
I just researched, I researched lumbar support, neck support
I'm a real fucking pussy
Well, we're getting old
But this is the plight of the tall man
Nobody talks about the negatives
You know, you get pussy, you're basketball
You know, you win the presidency
Every president has been taller, by the way, who won
My mom will say, one time I told my mom I'm depressed
And she goes, but you're tall
That's a bit, that's great
It's not a carnival ride, mom
It's still, you know, still can get sad here
No, you know, it's, I do have back problems
I'm like, I'm a tall, lanky dude
This is who it happens to, you know
So people always are like, you need a good mattress
You spend so much time sleeping
No one ever talks about a desk chair
Ah, you're right, you're right
How much time do we spend at the desk?
We're sitting, they say sitting is the new smoking
Damn
Yeah, not mine, but I heard that somewhere
Damn, that's heavy though
I know, because, you know, nine to fives
That's eight hours of their life sitting
That's horrible for you
I mean, how often, I mean, you must spend so much of the day
At a desk, I think even in a hotel room
You're sitting in that crappy chair
And I'm like, man, it's not, it's just not good for you
Well, when I write, I walk
I walk and talk in the hotel room like a psycho
Damn, so you're just dictating into a, into a phone
A hairbrush
Can you believe, who are these people?
The whole, the whole nine
Who are these people?
I'm in my underwear with a hangover and holding a hairbrush
Yeah, no, this chair is, it's saving my life, man
It still hurts, but I do, I do, I do the heating pad on my back at night
I do everything
Oh, I'm, yeah, I'm hardcore with everything
I want to make sure I just, it doesn't go
Because it goes out, you're, you can do nothing for days, so
Right, I mean, you know what this is
This is the big, you know, my lady's got huge knockers
And she's always like my back
And I can't fit in any clothing
And we all go, yeah, whatever
You big tittied whore, shut up
We get it
It's the same with the tall guy
We all want to be tall
And you're like, my back
And we're like, all right, whatever
Yeah, but you can get a height reduction
I remember the line too from Superbad
It was like the big line in the trailer
Where she's like, she had, she had a breast reduction
And she goes, that's like slapping God across the face
That was the line in the trailer
Oh, that's a good line
Great line
That one, and the other line I love from that movie is
I fingered that girl
It was like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Or whatever it was
That's such a great
Sleazy thing mixed with like a mythical, beautiful thing
That's great
Coming of age, man, super bad
So, so good
Yeah, nothing better than coming of age
They mean so much to a kid
I remember when I saw those in my age
I was like, these are the best movies ever
It's weird how the coming of age movie has just changed over the years
I grew up like, I know I was, you know, obviously I didn't see them in the
theater
But like, I grew up on 80s dude comedies
Like Revenge of the Nerds or Porky's
And it's like funny, like you rewatch Porky's
You're like, this is, to a young person right now
Imagine being like, wait, what?
Yeah
Like, I'm not just talking like the shower scene
It's like, it opens, a guy calls a Jewish guy a kike
And you're just like
Right
And he doesn't even get, I mean, they're making fun of it
He calls him a kike
He goes, it's a kike, you idiot
Yeah, that's a pretty good move
He's like, you're not even racist
You don't even know how to be racist
That was like the joke
But it was like, yeah
Yeah, was that meat?
He was like the big guy
Yeah
That's kind of a nice little nod to the Jews
Like, we're going to give you the
They could have gotten you a Woody Allen type
And they gave you the big guy
That's right
I guess meat was a Jew
Yeah, well, you figure if it's going through some producers
Maybe they did some casting
You got to get the Jack guy
Hey, at least I didn't go with stereotype
Yeah, yeah, exactly
What are you drinking, by the way?
I went all in
It's daytime, it's winter
Hot toddy
Oh my god
Yeah, the lady cooked it up
Oh my god, I love that
That looks so good
Whiskey, honey, lemon, cinnamon
Dude, that is
That is the winter drink
Especially people dining outdoors in February
Yes, exactly
Yeah, we're under a heat lamp and a fur coat
So you need a little extra warmth
Some places aren't even doing the heat lamp
I walked by John's Pizzeria the other day
One of the best pizza places in the city, no doubt
On Bleecker?
On Bleecker, yeah
And
Like, yeah, we don't do heat lamps
I was like, it's 20 degrees
And like, eh, we're good
Like, they're like so cocky about their pizza
We'll make it work
Damn
That's hard
I mean, thank God
You can do 25% now
The cellar's open
Diners are open
Me and Salakuse went to a diner the other day
It was like heaven
Oh yeah, dude
Well, I'm drinking a juice bomb IPA
I've never had this
But we haven't done a beer on the pot yet, have we?
No, I don't think so
We did the lemon truly
Like a homo
But never done that
I, uh
This is good, by the way
I'm not a huge IPA guy
It's pretty good
Here's the thing about IPA
You learn with age, I think
I don't like them either
But one is great
Yeah
I'm the same way
I'm not a big beer
I'm not like
Beer's just not my go-to
I like hard stuff
I like hard liquor
I like cocktails
I like, uh
Beer
You drink 10 beers
That's fine when you're 18
Yeah
When you're in your 30s
You're pissing all night
You're pissing all night
It's like you ate a loaf of bread
It's heavy
You're burping
I'm with you
As a kid
It was like, get a rack
Get a package
Get a case
And now I'm like
I'll have two or three, maybe
Um, yeah
Oh, sorry
No, no, what?
Beer wasn't considered
An alcoholic beverage
In Russia until 2011
Is that real?
Yeah, fun fact
Damn
Is it because they're such vodka heads?
What is it?
There's such booze bags over there
That, yeah, vodka
Is like red wine to them
They have it with dinner
They have it with lunch
You know
And so then beer was like
This is water
Damn
That's why
That's why they're so fucking tough
Like in wars
Russians never quit
And it's just
They just fucking drink
I know
I know
It's the same with like
Boxing
Or maybe more UFC
But, you know
You always put black guy
Toughest
But then Russian
Is almost up to black
In toughness
Is that
I mean, yeah
I mean, I always think of Sodor
Dan Sodor's old bit
About like
There's nothing scarier
Than a Russian accent
That was like
The classic
That was like his bit
That you couldn't follow that
He would kill so hard
That's such a great Sodor bit
Because
He's a hilarious guy
And he's a good comic
But then he puts the voices
On top of the funny brain
It's kind of like
Kyle Dunnigan
Right
Man, is he funny
Like those impressions
Are so good
But he couldn't really
Find a way
Into the comedy world
Then he got those filters on
And it was over
Well, he was working
And he wrote for a ton of shows
You mean like
That's true
As like a social media guy
Yeah, Kyle's been successful forever
But
Got one of my favorite jokes ever
Oh, really?
You know the joke he said
Where they say
Some women think he has
Too close a relationship
With his mother
But mom says
All those women
Are dirty little whores
That's great
I love it
He had the great one
About the crooners
In the 40s
Like Sinatra
And Dean Martin
They have to seem so manly
So they're like
I see the moon in your eye
Hey
Ho
Watch out
Ha
He's basically saying like
I love you
But
Ho
I'm not gay
I like ladies
I like women
I love pussy
That was the 50s
Sinatra also kind of like
Aged into being a tough guy
I know he always had like
He's always a Hoboken guy
He's always like a mob guy
But he just didn't look like
A tough guy
When he was super young
Because he was like
A string bean
And then you see him older
You're like oh he also like
Aged into his looks
You know
Oh yeah
Oh yeah
He was so skinny
He had that pronounced face
With the curly slick hair
But he was like a Timberlake
Who kind of went into
A soprano
Yeah that's true
He also
I mean
Yeah he really
He fell off for a while too
And I think from hero to eternity
Saved his career
It's weird
Like acting saved him
Don't you feel like acting
Kind of gave Timberlake a boost too
Though with like social network
It was like oh shit
He's kind of got
That too
Totally
I mean him on SNL
He was great
You're like wow
This guy's funny
You didn't want him to be funny
Because he's handsome
He can sing
But then you're like
He's good
Yeah he makes fun of himself
That's all you want
For someone who's been famous
Since they were 12
Or whatever
Like Mickey Mouse Club
You're like just laugh at yourself
And you're in
That's all you have to do
Yeah and it's also interesting
This is a weird reach maybe
But like when I was growing up
Timberlake was a punchline
Like oh Justin Timberlake
Boy band douche
And girls would always go
Yeah yeah
Fuck that guy
He's a dork
But
They didn't mean it
Because
You know like he's bagged
Jessica Biel
And Cameron Diaz
And Britney Spears
And all these you know
Top shelf clams
But yet
He was made fun of
In his youth
But women
They'll throw that out there
But they don't mean it
Yeah I think
I also
It's like
You're in a boy band
But then like
He kind of went his own way
And people started to like him again
I think when you kind of
Do your own thing
It's weird
How there's like five of you
They're all working
They're all successful
But one dude just fucking pops
Yeah
Same with like
Destiny's Child
It's not like
I doubt the other two
Are struggling
But Beyonce's
Fucking Beyonce
Yeah
Yeah good point
I think you have to hit the gas
Like I don't know
If they hit the gas
Yeah it's like
The other few
It's like the Avengers
Like you got
You got Iron Man
And then like
There's Hawkeye
Hawkeye's still okay
Yes
That's perfect
But he ain't Iron Man
Right
Right
Yeah so true
I mean it's Batman
It's Superman
But the Flash
Come on
That's all you got
Is Flash
Yeah I hear that show is good
But I'm just like
I don't believe it
It's weird
I don't know
I was never
I'm not a huge comic guy
But if I
As a kid
I was so more Marvel
Than DC
Oh see I was a DC guy
Why is that
Why do you think
Well DC just felt
I get it
Like Marvel is cool
But DC felt classic
I like the classicness of it
The cape
The blue and the red
Or the blue and the gray
And I don't know
I felt more humble
Marvel was like
Oh this guy's got
Laser beams shooting out of his eye
Like it felt too easy
Interesting
See I was like
Peter Parker was so New York
Like Spider-Man
He lived in Queens
He was a photographer
Trying to make ends meet
He you know
Had the issues with his folks
Good point
I loved the beef with
Jonah Jameson
I was such a Spider-Man guy
As a kid
But I liked
I just never gave a fuck
About Superman
Like he was too powerful
He just could do everything
So I'm like
Alright if you could stop bullets
And like I don't give a fuck
But then Batman
I was always like
Yeah Batman's cool
I mean
Those movies with Michael Keaton
And Jack Nicholson
Growing up
And like
Those were fucking great
Great
And also New York
Basically
I mean they call it Gotham
But let's be honest
And also
I'm with you on Spider-Man
But Spider-Man again
He feels classic
I like that timeless
Kind of vibe
But you know
You start bringing in
Nightcrawler
And Beast
And all t