Name: We Might Be Drunk Ep 29 - The Return of Orange Wine
Uploaded: 2021-06-28T01:00:01.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'We Might Be Drunk Ep 29 - The Return of Orange Wine' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-06-28. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'We Might Be Drunk Ep 29 - The Return of Orange Wine' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-06-28. Transcript available.

We Might Be Drunk Ep 29 - The Return of Orange Wine

we might be drunk we might be drunk as long as we are hanging out you know we
might be drunk
raise a glass let's talk shit head peeps wrecks and a bit maybe drunk we might
be drunk yeah
hey folks here we are we might be drunk looks like we've got a nice bag of hooch
on the table
i don't know what it is i'm excited how you been fatty i'm good man i'm my neck
is still a little
out but i'm you know i'm hanging in there you wanted white wine yes i wanted
red wine
compromise uh-oh one in the middle a little orange look at that bad boy that's
a good looking bottle
there look at that they say it's good at the store so we'll see what we got natty
wine baby
wow a little day drink hold on it's got like a uh pop top like a beer yeah we'll
see if it's good
oh you hear that folks see what we're doing here this is funky oh wow please do
the honor
yes it's it's the day as usual we've been doing a lot of day apps but oh yeah
bring it on that cup's
bigger so factor that in all right is that even that's probably about right
yeah oh god you know
it's i don't know if i'm becoming a raging alcoholic or what but i was like am
i looking forward to the
pod to see you or i'm like i want to drink it's like a beautiful day out that's
75 degrees
hey that smells pretty good
it's got a kick sally's here oh that is like weird
two seconds in that's like grapefruity oh he's pissed oh man that's good yeah
that's good stuff
damn this is gonna sound bad but i like it i like it a lot
it tastes kind of like when you drink orange juice and then brush your teeth or
when you brush
teeth then drink orange juice it has that kick there's a sommelier punching a
wall somewhere
yeah no but it's great it's no it is it is good man no i know what you mean it's
kind of got that
like kind of bitterness yes yes but i'm into it we're learning we're learning
new words we were
talking to our uh our christopher our rye uh rye guy a rye guy yeah and he said
do not use the word
smooth it's hack so uh aromatic floral yes oaky fruity fruity effervescent can
we say fruity i don't
think so fruity's out that's fucking good this podcast is just gonna devolve
like two weeks from
now we're just fucking we're just hammered one of us is on the floor i'm like
this is a good episode
yeah yeah oh yeah well this is great uh so much to talk had a had a good
afternoon sex romp did you
oh my god i'm in high spirits the sun is shining i'm drinking we're here we're
queer it's great um
uh we don't want any more beer no who needs it when we got this stuff but uh me
and the lady went out
to lunch the hard part about having a gal a girlfriend for a while is like
initiating because
you feel so stupid like all right you want to go in there because the art of
seduction when you're
single is like such a process the drinking the food the walk the hand holding
oh she touched my knee
i'm in you know it's such a whole thing but with a girlfriend you're like hey
you want to go in there
and knock this out real quick then you just kind of you just kiss them you
start kind of going for
right i guess but i'm not big into kissing come on and uh i just pick her up
and throw her in there
like a caveman yeah because i'm just like i don't want to do the whole rigamarole
you know
and i think she's kind of into it but uh had one of those romps you know
usually you jizz in two
seconds or she never gets off or she gets off and you don't but it was one of
those perfect ones
where we both got off you said you jizz in two seconds i'm like how do you know
my sex life
well i think that's most dudes it's hard yeah if i mean if you're doing the
condom it's one thing if
you don't doing the condom you're kind of like all right this is this ain't
gonna last i know i know
the relationship but uh yeah no it's uh it's tough man it's it's tough to for
everyone to get what
they want and yes this is gonna sound really fucked up please but i feel like
now like when we were
kids i feel like women didn't always expect to come i think you're right and
now i think and it's
like good for them you should be coming i'm with you but i'm just saying you
know i'm like oh shit
sex has changed sometimes like i'll be fucking the whole time and i'm just like
well i'm not into
this yeah but she is so i'm just you know like the position i mean you know
yeah yeah completely
completely so you go with it for her yeah because it helps her i dated a gal
once she had to get on
top and like i guess my dick was too small for her because you would have to
like wiggle to find it
she gets a running start yeah she shoots out of a cannon right right so i had
to just wait there
while she's like you know doing all these movements and i was like all right it's
like she looked like
an idiot but she did what she had to do to to get off i guess and uh yeah i'm
all for it i feel
like as comics if you don't get her off you're you're bombing yeah no you gotta
you gotta you gotta
get them off yeah yeah so we got the vibrator next to the bed just really oh
yeah because i don't want
to leave her hanging what's your bit about that again oh about how like she'll
use it in front of
me and like she's like moaning and i'm just sitting there and i'm like i feel
obsolete i feel like the
employee at cvs and she's using the self-checkout oh that's strong thank you
thank you that's a good
bit man thanks yeah did it last night but uh yeah but great romp she i had the
legs up she's on her
back going for it and then uh she got off and then i was like thank god and i
got off right after it is
funny that's sex a lot when you get older it's just like it's just like thank
god she came yes yes
exactly because now i can yeah yeah that's true you're right it's very i don't
want to say mechanical
but you you you you you're efficient yeah you're almost like a point guard you're
just trying to
get you're just trying to get her open you're just trying to get like all right
thank god i got her
the ball yeah exactly my work here is done yeah yeah so everybody scored no
traveling uh double dribble
off her chin but all right there we go she had a good time and then she can
just get back to work
you know she works from home so oh man she finished that zoom call that feels
like a like a power move
that you left on you see tubins back on cnn i saw that and that gal brought it
up immediately oh i know
well you have to i yeah but she's like so i just want to make sure and he's
like yes that's correct
she's like okay i had to get that out it was it was less like the elephant in
the room and more like
you've been a very bad boy yes exactly like we all know what this is what are
you crazy you got
monica lewinski on you're not like let me check the dress okay you're good i do
i do this gonna sound
weird but i kind of feel bad for the guy i totally feel bad for the guy what
are you kidding i mean it
wasn't like he did it as like a power move he did it it's like fuck i'm an old
man who doesn't know
technology and was what was he rubbing it out or was he in the underwear what
was it i think he was
jerking off okay so he didn't know it was on oh yeah no i or he thought is i
mean i would hope he
just thought the call was over and not that he thought i mean maybe this guy's
got a really busy
schedule and he's got to rub one out while they're like he's like like you know
it's dark right right
he's between calls yeah yeah yeah but i don't know i don't think he did
anything devious and yeah and
we gotta start or we gotta stop getting mad at people for doing shit we all do
we all do that we all
jerk off front of our computer or men do anyway it's like i know he up but he
didn't mean to do
that you know it's like when a guy slips and says a bad word you know it's like
a guy's like the chink
in the armor it was like you're going to jail yeah but that guy who got fired
for that on cnn like
that or espn who did the chicken yeah thing about jeremy lynn like that that's
a that's a phrase
it's a complete and espn published it i know and he's the only you're only mad
once you guys all got
in trouble you know what's interesting is uh good point toobin if anything it's
the pandemic's fault
because that's that chair became his work chair good point that's the chair you
used to jack the
chair is the evil thing not him right because your body associates that chair
with jerking it and working
it yes so you have to it's gonna it's gonna get the the lines are gonna get
crossed every now and
then you know yeah it was weird to see him on there but also like man i gotta
admit i'm a fan of the
guy's writing like i love i mean the patty hurst book's phenomenal he wrote the
oj book what yeah
he's written some of the best books i think i love tubing man yeah i mean i
didn't even know that he
got fired from the new yorker cnn kept him but for them good for them i would
have been great though
if he just started jerking off on air and they're like yeah we should go we
gotta fire yeah
well i mean the new yorker what's a more new york thing than jerking off in
public
new yorker should have kept him if he started catcalling on the zoom call they
should have
promoted him i'll tell you that much yeah exactly oh man well good for tubie i'm
glad he's still
still kicking uh and that's just your legacy now that sucks it's humiliating it's
humiliating he's
got to go to every family reunion every pta meeting uh every you know church
thing uh date tubes yeah we
all know every time he turns around yeah exactly that's that's who you are now
it's like you know
so i yeah i get whatever i mean but i mean i can't wait to meet the guy because
i'm gonna be like hey
quit jerking me around you know you gotta you're gonna shake his hand yeah well
look i'm shaking
your hand i know you're jerked off you know it's like that old joke i used to
have about a guy who
goes i think the homophobic guy's like i'm not shaking a gay man's hand you
know me dicks he's
touched like you don't think a woman is blowing a guy or had a dick in her
vagina so that's all
out oh that's a good point so yeah we i think we had a lot of we had more gay
jokes when we started
out because i felt like that there was more intolerance so it was more of an
interesting
topic so true yeah kind of shifted now to trans people yeah and i've got a i
got a ton of trans
stuff now i used to have a gay bit a guy said gay sex isn't natural but it's
not sex for the purpose
of reproduction i was like no sex i've ever had was for the purpose of
reproduction great bit yeah you
fuck the couch yeah yeah it's against nature and i say i fuck couch cushions
you know so i'm in no
position to judge anyone what they're doing yeah man we both used to have a lot
of gay jokes i had a
lot of gay yeah we were we were attacking the the bigotry in a way but uh that
was a long one but we
kept it funny you got to keep well you can't those comics that go up there and
just pander you're just
like enough new york is getting rough for these shows i got to tell you like
yeah i don't know you
felt like i mean salicus is here with us now and he he uh he watched me eat a
fat one in one show but
then it's funny we always shat on the taurus like these taurus ruin the shows
that you need a mix of
the taurus and the new yorkers because when it's all new yorkers at these
seller shows yeah they're not
great no they're oh and on and it's about perception i can't be seen laughing
at that joke yeah i can't be
seen like they're a fucking politician and they just got busted i know but
tapping toes in the
men's room under the urinal i think that's what the internet is done though it's
like oh that's my
it goes back to my point and look we don't want to get dive into this shit but
it goes back to my
point of uh oh shit i forgot my point hold on damn it the natural wine it's
good wine man what was
my point earlier about the uh oh we're getting mad and and judging people on
shit we do we all have
fucked up thoughts we all have twisted weird that's what comedy is great for is
calling that
shit out and you go i i 