Name: We Might Be Drunk Ep 34: A Bar is Born
Uploaded: 2021-08-02T01:00:04.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'We Might Be Drunk Ep 34: A Bar is Born' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-08-02. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'We Might Be Drunk Ep 34: A Bar is Born' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-08-02. Transcript available.

We Might Be Drunk Ep 34: A Bar is Born

might be drunk we might be drunk as long as we are hanging out you know we
might be drunk
raise a glass let's talk shit head peeps wrecks and a bit maybe drunk we might
be drunk yeah
holy hell here we are we're in the bar folks this is it the booze den the den
of sin the
i hate man cave anything with man man cave is annoying yeah anything man in
front like you going
on a little man date right no i'm getting dinner with a friend exactly man i
hate all the man stuff
manatee you name it uh but yeah so here we are matt built us a bar it's insane
we're gonna put fan art
on the wall notice the polly walnuts soprano thing this is crazy it's crazy we
got rodney records we
nights uh this racket makes me think of uh when they're playing tennis in annie
hall for some
reason oh yeah it just feels very new york that's true i like it yeah this
whole thing's a racket
and uh we're figuring it out we got a bartender over here what's going on dan
you're 612 you got a great head of hair you got an apron on what's shaking you
look like one of the
inglorious bastards oh yeah yeah you look bad i don't know maybe like a mix of
like eli roth and
uh any of the other ones like a like you got a badass vibe is my point take it
i got the side
shaved but i got it faded so i don't look too much like a nazi you know perfect
we'll call you the
beer jew instead of the bear there we go the beer jew i love it there we go he
looked huge in that eli
roth is like 5 10 but they filmed him he looked so manly in the chest hair i
don't know if this is
true but i i heard somewhere that it was supposed to be a bigger role and it
was supposed to be sandler
but he dropped out to do funny people because apatow's but he's great and funny
people he is
but well that's a whole move about him but yeah i feel like sandler's not tough
i like him but but
he but no but 90s sandler was just like fucking shit up i feel like that's true
happy gilmore he's
the spaz oh good point good point get in your hole yeah that's true he could go
angry i also heard that
uh they were gonna make bob barker one of the nazis and he used to shit out of
sandler but
they scrapped the whole thing after that right right you're not pure white
bitch
oh yeah did you hear tarantino on on any of the podcasts i want listen to
everyone i'm a huge
fan listen to everything he's the best he had some great points i gotta tell
you yeah we're talking
directors and screenwriter i watched this documentary called millius it's about
john
millius he wrote apocalypse now he wrote red dawn you know the scene in jaws
where they go it's a
donald's eyes yeah he wrote that whoa the industry hated him he hated hollywood
but he was such a
genius screenwriter that two things and i when i saw this i was like i gotta
tell sammy about this
they hated him in the uh in the room and he would go he would go pitch a show
and he's like they hate
me they hate me pitch a movie and they're like no you're a genius just pitch so
he pitched this movie
big detailed long story they go i don't know we we hate it he goes well not
everybody likes macbeth
he pitched a mcbeth and they turned it down so he just proved to them another
story he wrote a script
they go it's too edgy it's too dark you got to clean it up so they had a guy
cleaning up like a
little nerd guy and they said whatever pages you change make those pages blue
they turned their
script in with all blue pages it was the same script and they go we love it wow
so it just
just hated him they hated him damn but they thought because the other guy wrote
it and they changed it
that this will be great now but that's like did you ever hear the val kilmer
story about how he tried
to get uh the doors oliver stone i don't know if it's true it's one of those
like old hollywood
tales right where apparently the the rumor is that he's like please give me
this part i know i can
play jim morrison yeah if you don't believe me i'm gonna send three clips of or
two clips of
jim morrison one of me if you can tell them apart i'll stop bothering you uh-huh
and he just sent
three clips of jim morrison ah i've heard that that's that's pretty cool good
for val he's got
cancer is he all right he's got the thing dude he's such a badass i love dude i
loved val kilmer love
heat love top secret we love you kiss bang bang yes he's great i was talking to
uh a friend once and
what i've heard is that he like he'll just because he was in uh fuck he was in
some movie top gun
no no no no no he's great in top gun but anyway he texts the guy a comedian i
can't say his name
who he didn't know that well but he's like hey can i sleep at your place for
five for five days
my place is under construction can i just stay at your place and the guy's like
i barely know this guy
this is pretty weird and he just has like val kilmer walking around his
apartment in underwear
wow val kilmer's just walking around my place this is the weirdest thing ever
he's like he's a great
guy yeah it's just it's val kilmer it's weird that's the cool thing about the
old days you could
just walk around on the guy that would be on tick tock now and all this reels
no this wasn't that long
ago oh okay i think the guy he stayed with just wasn't an asshole right exactly
exactly sorry i'm all
i'm all cuffed up here i'm sorry man i can't believe first off you're engaged
oh geez yeah i forgot
i can't believe you didn't mention that you were gonna pop the question yeah he's
a hot guy
no i just uh i don't know i don't want to bother anybody it's how is it you
think confiding in a
friend is a bother that's something you need to bring up in therapy probably
yeah because i text list and
i was like mark is engaged and he goes what ah i was like you i would hope you
told one of us you
were gonna do it yeah i don't know what i was thinking i just i just was so
focused on nailing
it and by the way i flubbed the hole and guy i choked really well it's so
intimate yeah i got intimacy
issues so i got down on one knee and i was like i love you and she's like yeah
and uh i said you know
will you marry me and all that you know it was great she cried will you marry
me yeah yeah so
i i'd speak for a living i'm on stage every night and i i was on one knee and i
just choked damn it's
so heavy it's a heavy moment yeah it is a heavy moment yeah and it's different
you see the movies
you see all this shit but uh you know in the in the moment it's it's different
and we had a great
moment i did it and there was two old people on the beach sunbathing two like
fat 80 year olds and
after i did it she's hugging me we're crying and she goes the old people go oh
that's nice it was a
nice little that's all right rom-com moment there you do any special that night
oh yeah we were in
martha's vineyard we we told the family we it was all perfect nice yeah very
romantic did your family
react like were they excited you know they gave me a high five and a shoulder
punch it was good it was
perfect they were cool they're just happy i'm doing something uh you know adult
what a weird reaction to
marriage yeah there we go all right say it again i think this calls for a drink
event yes hello mark
can we introduce dan yeah yeah the beer jew dan is here he's a cocktail coccologist
what is it
mixologist yeah i'm a cocktail architect you know liquor engineer and all those
things oh
well we got our own rye on the way so uh we're ready for fat cat for sure yeah
all right what do you got
here this is an amaretto and bourbon sour oh wow damn today this is high end oh
boy this is the recipe i'm
working on so uh you guys get to try it before it comes out oh damn last week
we had white claws so we're
really stepping it up here you know i'll make white claws i don't care man yeah
all right what is this
like you're like are you always trying to outdo yourself like with recipes like
are you just working
shit out all the time oh constantly i mean like we're constantly making recipes
and like new drinks and
everything and right now i'm working on like uh actually right now i'm trying
to run a full recipe
sheet of uh bodega bartending so like next to every liquor store there's a bodega
right yeah and what
do you do when you're pre-gaming you get like a bottle of booze and some shitty
mixer and you go and
take either like really sad quick shots you pet a cat yeah yeah you pet a cat
or you know like you
or you can mix it together but uh for me like i'm doing uh recipes where you
can make like elevated
drinks like a nice whiskey sour like this with only things you find at your bodega
and at your average
liquor store i like it the poor man's liquor exactly yeah yeah to the point
where like you don't even
need a shaker you got hot and sour soup last night use that tin poke shake it
up poke holes in it
that's your strainer right holy hell like a life hack like exactly hack for
life all right uh all
right man very exciting all right what is the real height six seven six seven
yeah are you six seven
yeah oh my god i used to work at a carnival oh man look at they got swords in
there holy
shit
hey come on
drinking on antibiotics folks what other pod is doing that this is not bragging
right
it's like the chris rock joke i never see my kids what do you want a cookie
that's pretty good man i like drinks where like see i like the taste of alcohol
but it's nice to
have a drink that's that smooth hell yeah thank you and the circular ball of
ice is a nice touch
there you like balls near your mouth don't you there we go see i knew it thank
you no i like the balls
of ice they're really cool man man new new studio you got fancy new drinks
there you go you got that
right keep it classy now right this goes moving on up feels very out of place i
mean we love having you
here we love the studio we got salicus's fat ass on the on the blower here but
uh this this is not i'm
not used to this this does salakai's does he kind of looks like the uncle that
falls asleep after
thanksgiving right now isn't it that's true recliner yes he does a man who has
his chair you know
those when like my grandpa he was like that they were like no one's sitting
grandpa's chair yeah it's not
like that special chair like to him it is that's trazier the dad with the chair
yeah my grandpa
had the chair too that is so weird that just kind of happens my grandfather had
an ice maker in his
house and i remember thinking as a kid like this is the height of luxury he's
got an ice shaker like a
maker he would scoop it good times i love it man well this is exciting so you're
you're going to be
married i can't believe you're going to be married i've known you for so it's
it is adult it's funny to say
it's funny to call marriage adult yeah but it is there are no kids getting
married it is adult
totally and i will say it's a load off you know you're just like all right we
did have a good night
yeah exactly we we got we got that going she's got a ring yeah by the way the
ring is a is a nightmare
to do you gotta figure that out get the sizing what she wants i hit up her
sister thank god wow
that was a whole behind the scenes thing but you think like oh i'll give her a
ring but you gotta get
the right ring what if she hates the ring it's it's a big one and then she's
like where's the
wedding gonna be what's what food i'm like i thought i was done oh my god yeah
so buckle up fatty
damn you gotta you're gonna have to give us a far out day so we're not uh we're
not working well
we're doing it in new orleans and we're gonna do it like on a weekday so try to
get some comics but
i understand it's a destination destination wedding how do you decide new orleans
i mean she picked it
really she lives in boston boston's ugly and boring you know fun town is a is a
wild place for a wedding
it's a party town you go there for celebration for booze for weddings for funerals
you know
i was i was just in nashville man i gotta tell you like i'd never been to nashville
like
so fun broadway it's like bourbon street cancun that's crazy yeah it's a honky
tonk bo