Name: We Might Be Drunk Ep 35: Paper Plane
Uploaded: 2021-08-09T01:00:16.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'We Might Be Drunk Ep 35: Paper Plane' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-08-09. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'We Might Be Drunk Ep 35: Paper Plane' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-08-09. Transcript available.

We Might Be Drunk Ep 35: Paper Plane

We might be drunk. We might be drunk. As long as we are hanging out, you know
we might be drunk.
Raise a glass, let's talk shit. Pet peeves, wrecks, and a bit. Maybe drunk. We
might be drunk. Yeah.
Ha! Here we are, folks. We might be drunk.
Here, we got the new studio. We're back. We hopefully fixed the lighting. Fat
Dan is here, the beer Jew.
We're drinking. What are we drinking this week, man? I'm excited.
Today, you're drinking Bovardier, which is like a Negroni with whiskey, and
Mark's got a paper plane coming up.
I've never heard of that. What is that? I used to throw those at teachers.
It's like an almost classic cocktail, which is whiskey, Aperol, and lemon, and
a little Amaro.
Nice for the summer, but still brown.
All right. Wow. I've never heard of either. I can't wait. I'm nervous. Again, I
feel like this.
You've had a Bovardier?
I don't think so.
Really?
No, no. I knew her. I was a black chick I knew, but I never had one. But I'm
excited. I'm excited.
Speaking of black, we got Ewing up in the studio. That's kind of nice.
Big Pat.
My fave. That's big. I love that one.
Is that to scale?
Yeah, he's seven feet.
What? Is he seven even?
Yeah.
Holy hell. That's wild. He's not from here.
Jamaica.
What? He's Jamaican?
But he went to... I think he grew up in Massachusetts and went to Georgetown.
Damn.
Played for Georgetown because they had John Thompson, who was one of the only
black coaches at an elite school for basketball back then.
Wow. Seven even. And he's good. Wouldn't that suck to be that tall and suck?
Yeah. What if you're like seven foot and you just like work at Barnes and Noble?
I know.
That would suck.
And every Tom, Dick, and anal goes, hey, you play ball? And he's like, nah, I'm
a book guy.
I guess you could reach the high books.
That's true.
No ladder.
That's true. No ladder. That's true.
That's something.
Yeah. You know, I know so little about basketball, but from what I gather, it's
the big guys starting in order are Wilt Chamberlain, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.
Are you going all time?
Yeah.
Like, oh, okay. Over time. Yeah. In order, you got it right so far.
Okay. Okay. Nobody before Wilt.
No big men before Wilt?
Yeah.
Oh, I mean, Bill Russell played before.
Oh, Bill Russell. I've heard of him.
Of like the greats.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay. Bill Russell, Wilt, Kareem.
Yeah.
Ewing.
Ewing?
Yeah, Ewing.
Isaiah?
Isaiah Thomas was a point guard. He was short.
But I'm saying, like, legends.
Oh, yeah. I mean, Akeem was the year before Ewing.
Michael Jordan was, I don't know if he was, I think he was the year before Ewing
as well.
Ah, damn. All right. We got Larry, throw Larry Bird in.
Larry Bird. You got, you missed magic.
Magic. Yeah, the AIDS. And then, then, then it just gets, it doubles down. It's
like Kobe and
Curry and LeBron and Durant. And then, yeah, you lose it.
I need this drink right now.
What's going on?
Oh, I've just been in Long Island all weekend.
Long Island will kill you, man.
They're animals.
It's Alabama. It really is. It's northeast Alabama.
You get, you get like 90% great people. And then there's like, there's just a
few tables where you're like, this is insane.
Yeah, it's crazy. And it always adds up. You're like, you're the cliche and
here it is. It's a stereotype and it is for a reason.
I had Salacuse with me and he brings like a young, uh, like intern to also
photograph.
Oh, wow.
Shoot some stuff. And this kid's like 18 from Chicago and he couldn't believe
the voices in Long Island.
Uh-huh.
He just heard people being like, yeah, so I say this. And he's like, I thought
this was like in movies.
Right.
I thought this was like a joke.
Yeah, everybody thinks you're going to see that in Brooklyn. Like, no, no, that's
Long Island.
That's Long Island.
Forget about it. No, Brooklyn's like, hello, I make my own tea or whatever, you
know.
But there it's like, you know, what the fuck? Hey, yo, get out of my space.
You're not going to hear the word artisanal in, uh, Belmore, New York.
Right, right.
Salacuse is following me around. He's like trying to get a path because he
wants to do like a Goodfellas type thing.
You know, when he's walking through the kitchen.
Yes.
To shake hands. He wanted that for the shot in the, in the comedy club.
And the owner's like a real, you know, Italian.
Goomba.
Use your words.
Diego, yeah. Guido, yeah.
You just go off the deep end here.
Yeah, wop.
Thank you.
Oh, man, look at that. What the hell's this shit? Get it out of here.
Cheers.
Cheers, my God.
Hey, let me do a toast this week.
Please, I love a toast.
Rodney voice.
Ah, I can't wait.
Every man has his tale of woe. Unfortunately, in life, there's more woe than
tale, all right?
Ah, still good.
All right, let's see.
Nice.
Boy, good toast.
That's really good.
You know what I appreciate about you?
I, I, I don't really get this as much when I make a cocktail, but I get the
aroma with you.
Wow.
Like, like, I guess it's the, cause you've got the orange in there, so I get
the, the smell.
This is pungent as a motherfucker.
Yeah, it is.
A political pungent.
This is, uh, delightful.
It's almost like sour, and man, you are a hell of a cockologist.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Here, here.
This is good, man.
I mean, can I, can I hear what's in it?
So, the paper plane is three quarters whiskey, three quarters Aperol, three
quarters Amaro.
We used Amaro and Nino today, which is the best one, I think.
Amaro Stoudemire.
There we go.
There we go.
Right.
And, uh, three quarters Lemon.
Wow.
If you have two paper planes and then have a paper building, it comes crashing
down.
Yeah, I'm going to go down, like, the South Tower later if I have too many of
these.
Oh, it's going to be healthy again, but Long Island, man.
Oh, dude, so, so Salacuse is following me.
He's filming, like, through the kitchen, and, and the guy running it is like,
so, what are you doing here?
And he goes, oh, I'm trying to, like, you know, follow him all the way to the
stage.
And he goes, you, my friend, that's a, that's a good, uh, film idea.
He just keeps doing it.
He's like, you're a Scorsese over here, you know?
Man, it's so cool doing these filming things at clubs, because the shit we go
through and the shit we see, like, everybody thinks it's all about the show and
the jokes and the act, but there's so much more behind the scenes.
The green room, or lack of green room, the kitchen, the owners, the host, the
town, there's so much there.
Oh, there's so much, and, you know, uh, we're in the green room.
The green room in Salakuse is like, you know, everyone thinks, like, the green
room is, like, this place where you're doing work, where you're just doing Adam
Sandler impressions.
I'm just in the green room, like, so hot.
Want to touch the hiney?
We're just doing voices and being idiots, because we're just stressed.
I'm like, oh, fuck.
I know, I, early show was too good Saturday that I'm like, like, all the shows
were good, but you know when the show is too good in Long Island or you're in a
rowdy city?
Yep.
And you're like, I'm going to get, I'm going to get heckled hard.
Of course.
Like, Matt's like, they were so well behaved.
And I was like, just wait.
I know.
The late show was, and, like, I posted a clip of this already.
The late show on Saturday was just as crazy.
This one woman on Thursday, like, hitting me with every insult, like, like,
dumb it, like, no one even knows who you are.
Really?
And I'm just like, it's my show.
Wow.
This is my show.
What a coos.
No one, she's like, no one here even knows you.
And they're like, no, they're, I'm like, I love that when the heckler's insult
is like, you're not funny.
I'm like, I've been doing well this entire time.
I know, I'm killing.
You're the only idiot not laughing.
Everyone's murdering.
But that's when it's like, you're just dead.
Yeah, you're dead inside.
You're dumb.
You just want to fight.
You want to win.
You're clueless.
You're angry at something.
She was angry.
Yeah.
You can't tell if they're just an asshole or a terrible drunk sometimes.
I know, I know.
I've confronted some of those people after and they like break down.
They're like, I'm a roofer.
I'm on opioids.
I was molested.
Yeah, exactly.
There's always something behind it.
You ever do that on Twitter?
Like you'll just favorite something and they're like, I'm sorry.
I called you a hack.
I didn't mean it.
I hate my mom.
My dad's gay.
Whatever it is.
That's all it took.
Yeah, exactly.
One little star.
Yeah, they just want like a little bit of a hug.
It's like in Goodwill Hunting.
It's not your fault.
Fuck you, Sean.
Don't fuck with me, Sean.
Dude, that seems so good.
Oh, so good.
So, you know, Matt Damon got some shit.
Yeah, I heard.
Because he said he doesn't say the F slur anymore, which like, you know, which
like
out of Boston, stopping that at 50.
Not horrible, I guess.
I don't know.
But he's getting shit for it.
And it's like, he admitted it.
It's like, it's not like someone, it's not like a got you moment.
Right.
He said in an interview, like, oh yeah, I said it till recently.
My daughter scolded me and now I don't say it.
And then people were like, you piece of shit.
I know.
He busted himself.
That's how bad we want that gotcha moment.
You know, we're like, oh, we're foaming at the mouth.
But it's a good thing.
But you'd rather the gotcha than good.
Yeah.
That's where we're at.
And that's bad.
That is a bad place.
A guy at 50 at a Boston stops drinking Dunkin'.
That would surprise me.
This doesn't shock me.
Yes.
That's good.
Who had that joke about a Boston guy comes to New York?
They're like, hey, they got a musical about us.
Wicked.
I can't remember who that was, but somebody had that.
But yeah.
Yeah.
Matt Damon.
Also, here's my thing with the slurs and the stuff.
You can still say it.
Just say it with your friends because, I mean.
I know one of you is wearing a wire.
I don't trust that shit.
Well, that's true, too.
That's scary shit.
That's like the new wire thing.
It's not like, I know one of you motherfuckers works for salon.com.
There's a rat in our group.
Right.
Exactly.
Exactly.
Like, you know, when you're around your mom, you don't go, oh, it's fucking
this chick
in the ass.
You know, you go, hey, mom, how are you?
What's shaking?
You look great.
But when you're with your friends, you go, I'm fucking up in the ass.
And I think it's the same with slurs.
There's levels.
But yeah, I think it's probably for the best, though, to cut that out because
then it might
slip in the.
That's true.
So just cut it out.
It's kind of like when you're drinking and you're like, hey, mom, the turkey's
great.
I was fucking this girl.
Ah, shit.
Damn it.
Oh, fuck.
Sorry, mom.
Jew, something, F-slur.
I don't know.
They both got stuffed.
That was my gobble.
That was a horrible gobble.
Ah, the wild turkey.
I'll tell you, wild turkey, wild turkey's all right.
Oh, it's great.
And nothing hits you faster than wild turkey.
I don't know what it is.
I guess there's more proof in there or something.
Yeah, wild turkey 101 is 50%.
Oh, Jesus.
Well, there you go.
I got this for free.
So it'll hit you.
Yeah, yeah, always.
You got it.
How'd you get it for free?
Campari care package.
What?
Hell yeah, dude.
Damn, shout out to Campari.
Campari, send us some more shit at Gotham Studios because we're into your stuff.
Hell yeah.
Oh, man.
Well, you're talking, uh...
But it was, you know, you said the Saturday first show was great.
Saturday late show, you know, is going to be a bitch.
Yeah.
It's kind of like in the Nam movies, Vietnam, when they're like, kind of like
going through
the swamp.
They're like, hey, this is pretty good.
And that's right when they get attacked.
Right.
When you're like, it's going great.
No bullets.
Seems clear.
There's some guy in a rice patty.
Bullets coming at you.
And the guy who dies, it's kind of like your opening act.
Like, oh, fuck.
I wasn't ready for him.
That's it.
That's perfect.
That's so true.
You got to hold him.
He's dying in your arms.
Yeah.
Oh, man.
Yeah, man.
Philly was, I'm sure.
I mean, look, the weekend in Lon