Name: We Might Be Drunk Ep 37: Martini Time
Uploaded: 2021-08-23T01:00:08.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'We Might Be Drunk Ep 37: Martini Time' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-08-23. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'We Might Be Drunk Ep 37: Martini Time' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-08-23. Transcript available.

We Might Be Drunk Ep 37: Martini Time

we might be drunk we might be drunk as long as we are hanging out you know we
might be drunk
raise a glass let's talk shit head peeps wrecks and a bit maybe drunk we might
be drunk yeah
yo what's up hey hey we might be drunk you got that right we're on our way here
with this uh
it's martini day hell yeah i mean we're going all in danny baby the beard jew
is already uh clinking
some cubes around and the then that grandpa's cough medicine over there and if
you remember
last week he said drink eat bread with butter yes which we both forgot yes uh
so we've been
throwing down pretzels so we don't die here pretzel is one of my least favorite
food what i hate i
anything on a plane i've hate i hate a biscoff cookie i hate a pretzel i hate i
can eat a
peanut but those are gone you hate the biscoff cookie i hate it the biscoff
cookie is is a
delight uh it's so hard you take one bite you're you dip it in your coffee wow
you get the airplane
coffee oh i do oh that's bad that's bad coffee with that shitty creamer too
nothing depresses
me more than a hotel creamer the powder no well that's that's bottom of the
barrel that's like
sars but it's oh it's anthrax yeah it stinks but the little they're like for
some reason you don't
need to refrigerate it yeah the coffee mate the little cup pull the little labia
off of that thing
it's so and it bubbles up it's it's it's chemicals like the labia i dig my
tongue in just so it doesn't
overflow yeah uh i love that by the way when you get the tongue in the hole fun
fact whoa coming at
you hot oh my god look at that that looks good all right so this is vodka martinis
because mark uh
mark fucked up yeah i forgot the kettle one it's sitting on my coffee table i
got a big jug of it
i keep it on the bar cart it's my prize possession and i left it at home like a
douche and so
danny boy ran out and grabbed it he's a good barkeep this is all right well
cheers man this is a great uh
i love a martini it's classic i like this glass better than the way better i
mean look it's classic
i have some of them at home and you know what i did i got like it's like extra
big so you just don't
fill it all the way up smart like the you have to hate it like you're like fuck
why am i am i a jewel
thief why am i walking on my toes i know it's it's less stable than a miami
condo that thing goes down
with a breeze so tell us what we got here there apron so that is just a classic
super dirty filthy uh
vodka martini oh my god that's filthy good and mark i agree with you i like the
coupe glasses a lot
better hell yeah is this just olive juice just olive juice and vodka why is it
so much better than when
i make it because i made it ah it is damn good i mean the filthier the better
this is so good it is
good this is like i like my vodka martinis like like sea water or if i'm an
italian like water
yes totally and in a dirty martini there should be no vermouth at all i hate
when they put dry
vermouth in a dirty martini it should be either dry or dirty i think so what is
the vermouth what is
the point yeah no that's bisexual right there pick a hole pick a hole what is
vermouth what is the
point of it dry vermouth it just softens it up a little bit oh it doesn't have
that well if you do
a vodka martinis dry vermouth with it right this is that can be good i like
absolutely but i don't
think that there should be dry vermouth in a dirty martini oh that's when
people order like a little
dirty that's like a finger in the butt not too dirty it's not you're not
getting pegged right but
it's it's dirty it's a hint it's a hint pinky pinky and the stink yeah this is
good man this is damn good
and i like it there this is like uh like louisiana water after that oil spill
it is gross
but it's good is this okay so this is are you an olive guy yeah are you a
pickle guy yeah you like
them both oh yeah i kind of want to try those onions and stuff back there too
while we're doing
this but this is we get all these you guys send us all this great stuff at gotham
studios and i love
it uh i love an old gay and uh we got pickled red onion and pickled pineapple
but what's the name of that brand on there beer jew got old bay no but i think
somebody sent us those
at some company three dogs pickles three dogs there it is shout out to three
dogs
love a three dog three dog night what do you got what's that one i got all
kinds of stuff here oh boy
we got uh spicy sesame and garlic i mean we gotta all try this right damn this
is like a
paula dean show we're gonna start saying the n-word and i keep eating this
pickled uh
pickled delights that man you haven't heard from she was canceled big cancel
and you know what's
funny about paula dean is all my black friends and like black twitter is like i
like that bitch's
chicken anytime fuck her she makes a beat she can say the n-word while she's uh
roasting up some
gravy or whatever the hell well yeah but hey damn paula dean yeah yeah yeah she
really went down i know and
she was a big titan in the cooking empire yeah damn she was like the southern
lady you had bobby flay you
had emerald he was probably the hot guy who just fucks oh that's his whole
thing where you're just
like this dude's just he'll have guests on beat bobby flay he's like she's a
young actress and we're
like we can read between the lines bobby we know how she got this part i'd love
i would love to watch
a sex tape of him plowing uh giada de la renta who's that is that her name what's
that who i'm
talking about is that it she's a cute italian broad with a little schnoz yeah
so hot how about uh
man batali went down pretty bad yeah but that guy was everywhere those crocs
are empty yeah i hate to
live a day in those shoes it's a bald ponytail how do you open these you got it
it's a ball jar this so
i have to like flip this up or something uh yeah just give it a little under
the nails there i don't
have nails i bite my nails i'll tell you i told my psychiatrist i was thinking
i'm having suicidal
thoughts now he told me to pay in advance my mom's a big foodie coos and she uh
she used to pickle
everything when i was a kid it was a nightmare i love pick what why are you
anti-pickling well i i you
know i like eating it but i didn't have to own a like jar stuff i had to clean
the jars and help her
like pick the garden yes there we go you got it yeah oh that's the pineapple
oh man smells like an old cooter this sounds this smells good
oh that is fire dude yeah that is really good
all right all right this is turning into uh all right sorry i just saw it there
and we're like
we're having this thing yeah it was the food network doing chop i gotta tell
you something
i watch val on your recommendation god damn oh what a tearjerker it's uh also
my term for a bad
hand job it's incredible oh my touching yeah i love them it's weird it's crazy
when they do that
montage like they do all the movies early on and they do that montage of movies
done you're like man
he's in a lot of bad movies i know i know and he's good that's the set that's
the fucked up thing
it's like let me sit and then he's saying like you can't complain because he's
rich
all right but then also the part where he loans his dad all this money and i
know that was like
brutal i know like and he was in all that debt because he and then he tried to
make the twain
thing i don't want to give anything away you got to see it it's on amazon i
heard the twain
thing's great it looked great it looked great i remember doing the road and
being like mark twain
wow val kilmer yeah so i was faced with the stress factor which i love he's
such an actor you
know he was in that like shitty little green room like how quaint this is
wonderful
this is this must be how they do no and i love the stress factory calm down vinny
if you're listening
oh yeah but uh you know uh yeah so many incredible things i mean there's not to
give too much away
but there's a part he's got a video camera he's just documenting everything
yeah so it's a play
you're talking about with kevin bacon and sean penn yes and there's a part
where he takes the camera
out and kevin bacon's like whoa is that a video camera cool i know that's that
shows how long ago
it was like the early 80s and they look like kids they're probably like 1920 21
sean penn still a
badass so you know it's it's so crazy scary they all pull their pants down you
want to be like did
he ask for their consent to throw this up i know a good point but that that was
just kind of how it
was when you were like a young boy you just did you whip your balls out or
whatever i know and like
i don't know is that toxic or if you were a new york governor either way but i
remember i went to
catholic school and guys would come up to your desk take the balls out of the
zipper and just put
them on the corner of your desk and you'd be like all right all right all right
it was just pretty
standard that garlic's fucking good too oh man you're gonna be stinking up a
storm over here i am
i am all right i gotta do it i'm gonna go in for a kiss later too i'll tell you
hey bring it on
i tell you i told my old man i want to go ice skating on the lake he said wait
till it gets warmer
uncle cuomo on me here oh you want me to get in on this get in go get there
that'll wake you up
yeah that was great so good great wreck you got to watch to die for watch that
i will you're gonna
love it man val makes you realize i don't know about your my parents didn't
videotape one
millisecond of my childhood and i think that means i'm in good shape you know
anytime there's a lot of
video footage of a kid he gets he gets kidnapped the ods he gets in a car
accident something happens
that's interesting right the pen when there's too much footage you're like that
something happened
yeah definitely or you become an actor i guess yeah true but i mean that's i
mean his fucking brother
dies you're like you knew something was coming when he's like he's like i hate
you can just i've seen
too many documentaries i know when someone's like he was always more creative
than i was you're like
fuck something happened to him he's a goner whenever he gets a compliment too
early yep oh this is
another one on intervention whenever they go he lit up a room you're like oh he's
on heroin
anytime you light up a room your life is ruined you lit up a pipe uh no it's
brutal uh i mean it's
i watch so many of those true crime shows man oh yeah i watch them all i love
them i know the one i
loved recently was murder at middle beach oh that was heavy hbo brings out the
bangers for that shit
netflix has some really good ones too but it's a grab bag it's like one out of
ten eight hbo is probably
like eight out of ten yeah yeah or seven i mean i'll watch them all man the jinx
is still my number
one you can't beat a true crime where there's like a there's a smoking gun i
mean it's i know
in the the the confession is in real time i mean that guy must be jerking
himself that guy came around
a lot andrew farragetti jurecki yeah he's a man he directed bumping mics with
that's right
that's right he also did capturing the freedman's i don't know silly billy
silly billy his dad with
the pedophile he was like the new york clown it's great it's incredible all
right shout out to all
the women who my girl gives me shit for watching entourage and then she watches
you know the pedophile
killed nine girls in a hotel room with a garden hoe and you're like all right
entourage sends a bad
message what does this send exactly exactly they just bro hug this guy fucking
strangles i know
get off my case they're actors but jessica elba's not an object yes she is she's
an actress
uh she's still walking this little girl got gaped in a in a park and you're
like this is this is
entertainment i mean some of the footage and they're not to give too much away
but uh when
val kilmer's videotaping marlon brando he's like a fucking blob on a hammock
this is incredible
and he it's his hero and he won't answer him it's kind of like how i feel with
a lot of com