Name: We Might Be Drunk Ep 39: Back From The Dead
Uploaded: 2021-09-06T01:00:08.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'We Might Be Drunk Ep 39: Back From The Dead' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-09-06. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'We Might Be Drunk Ep 39: Back From The Dead' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-09-06. Transcript available.

We Might Be Drunk Ep 39: Back From The Dead

we might be drunk we might be drunk as long as we are hanging out you know we
might be drunk
raise a glass let's talk shit head peeps wrecks and a bit maybe drunk we might
be drunk yeah
welcome to we might be drunk we're back baby i'll tell you hey hey good to be
back lots to talk
about sun is shining it's eight million degrees in manhattan good to see you
fatty good to see you
sally oh yeah yes good to have you back we missed you for a week but uh what
are you making for us
sloppy jalopy today we're making corp survivors number two and uh it's like a
hangover drink it's
a corp survivor it's like way way old from the 1870s it was right in the 1930s
uh at the savoy hotel in
london and the guy who wrote it down in the 1930s said uh you know it's a great
it's all booze but
you can't taste it wow so it's a great and it'll make you feel nice and chipper
but he said if you
have four of these back to back it will unrevive your corpse so it'll kill you
it's funny because
back then they didn't have coca-cola they didn't have uh you know welches and
mountain dew and all
that they had to just make shit what out of like mushed grapes and they didn't
have fanta you know
what i mean that's your first thought of the 1800s they didn't have fanta they
also didn't have like
real doctors that's true that's worse yeah yeah that's true that is worse but i'm
just saying like
to be a mixologist back then you had to really use the basics for sure but that's
probably why those
are the classics like the old drinks are the best for a reason because you
needed them that's true
yeah isn't it weird back in the day like they said kids would drink because
water was unhealthy
because it could be pond water or have uh shit in it or whatever but so they
would all drink beer
as like a drink it's hilarious you see a three-year-old you're like put that
water down
have a beer like a man right right it's got to be safe have a cocktail yeah i
remember that i think
some of that was from the prohibition doc too i think the ken burns what uh
where were you this weekend
uh arlington texas oh boy yeah not bragging it was rough i mean really well it's
basically like
dallas fort worth and arlington's like the taint right in the middle and there's
nothing there
except for the cowboy stadium that's the only thing keeping that town on the
map
yeah i love the michael j fox or the muhammad ali i uh yeah i was in uh royal
oak michigan great club
comedy castle good time got my boy anthony devito with me that's killer some of
those shows
were great and then some you're like that's a big venue so yeah it goes back
and back yeah and they
drink classic yeah classic club got delayed five hours on the way back yeah
five hour delay oh hell
this looks oh man jesus christ wow chill guys this looks like when you've been
saving up a nut for
like three weeks those poor hotel towels or in your case your hand cheers wait
corpse revival
reviver reviver got it oh with the little skull can't go wrong there
wow wow that i could picture tasting this hungover and this would this would
help so much yeah it's like
an elixir more than anything well give it give us the ingredients so it's uh it's
gin london dry gin
uh lalais blanc which is like a french aperitif like a sweet wine kind of like
a muscato
um uh cointreau and lemon all three quarters once again i thought there was absinthe
in this there is
that there's an absinthe spritz like uh like a rinse so like i have this little
perfume bottle
and i just like dab it over if you want you want to give it a try here what a
pro got the perfume
bottle full of spritz give me a spritz i can't say no to absinthe oh yeah put a
little queef on top
wow that has got an aroma what's that it's like licoricey right almost yeah
warm wood that's like the
wormwood good doc errol morris that's right and i think a netflix show yeah
that's no it was on
netflix the the doc oh i thought that was a sitcom not errol morris dude you
know errol morris that
guy rules documentary director is he a thin blue line or yes masterpiece yeah
they say it's one of the
best docs of all time i think i think it is yeah it's like almost like one of
those netflix docs before
they now they have to do like 10 episodes to like just keep you on the app but
back then
they're like no it's a movie yeah we're not using fat why is uh errol gone isn't
that weird that some
name just go away like you never meet a duncan you never meet an errol there's
a few others i can't
think of what's some other names you don't hear anymore gladys yeah yeah ethel
gertrude yes
they just kind of fizzle off like at some point people are gonna go oh tiffany
no one's called
tiffany but rosemary rosemary's a cool name good name good baby good spice too
oh yeah that's right
rosemary chicken all right i uh do we get delayed five hours at delta uh michigan
detroit airport
detroit airport it's a hub it's a hub but whatever that means i know it's just
it's got a decent sky
club i guess we're in the club five you're in the club now i'm in the club baby
i'll tell you
i'm in the club i'm nervous about around you now i gotta shape up i didn't know
you were a club guy
now if you get canceled you lose club access too can i tell you that what no i'm
kidding
i don't want to lose that club no uh dude five hour delay though no apology
then you get on board
and they do the whole uh we thank you for being a uh adult uh flying and like
anyone's turned to him
like oh that was very nice yeah thanks for saying that i also hate we're gonna
make up for it in the
air they say that a lot do it all the time do it all the time make up for it
all the time that's a
seinfeld joke is it really yes oh my god so sorry welcome to the 80s good stuff
though good to have
you but it's a good point it's like why you just oh you know what it is they i
asked this question
to a pilot it burns more fuel if you go faster so they don't want to just be
burning fuel all day
long fun fact you know it's also all these announcements now where they have to
act like
it's like they're loud as hell too i know it's like they're getting louder it's
like when you're
watching tv show and all of a sudden the commercials are really loud what the
hell is that shit i almost
put that as my peeve that's so funny really yeah oh my god i hate that shit
happens a lot when
you're watching i don't know whatever porn yeah she's like suck me suck me blue
chew it's brought
to you by a god wait she's saying suck me suck me yeah i don't know what he's
doing it uh anyway uh
yeah shit i might reveal too much in that one sally that's good what is your go-to
genre can we ask
or is that usually i keep it classic i like a milf too it's tough but now they're
just our age
it's a bummer just like it used to be like i'm banging my best friend's mom now
it's just like
i guess this would just be like a chick right right good point yeah i like mom
teaches daughter
oh mom yeah educational element exactly generation to generation yep incest all
the greats it's like a
recipe you're passing it down but instead of a strudel it's a it's a suck job
yes i like it yeah you know
what's weird is uh you hear about these women taking blowjob classes really
yeah i thought that
was a myth no that's out there that was an old school that was andy dick
remember that was an old
school but is that real i think it's real and they practice on what a carrot
carrot a cucumber a
zucchini you name it uh this is online plan if it's a black guy whatever online
blowjob courses
so you can get your degree online online jeez take that wow that's uh my sean
murphy's got a great
bit about these like it's so nice of women men would never do this there's no
man eating out class
you know men are like i'm great i'm great it's such a great point about how
women are just nicer
well what do you practice on if you're a guy just like slice open a grapefruit
and start licking what
do you do yeah i guess a taco or a kleenex box i don't know that's a good
question yeah that's true
that's tougher women have more options the penis it's easier to find a an
outward an external you
know shape yeah than inward i'm learning that women aren't that into the internals
like i think i'd go
85 percent vibrator for women over dildo uh yeah that would be my stimulation
that's yeah that's my
guess we need a lady in here but if i had it was if i was a betting man well
the problem is we got
fooled with all this soft core porn as kids whether it's just they're just just
ramming the women's
like oh my god and you're like that's not yes scream like that that's true and
then the first time a
girl's like slow down you're like oh i never thought about slowing down you
know yeah i thought of
attacking you like a jackhammer i didn't realize there was finesse involved
here exactly exactly i
had a lady once i used to hook up with this gal who worked at goldman sex yeah
or norman sex
i'll tell you she's all right this girl yeah goldman vex but uh i was going
down on her and she was
like you should tease me first and i was like what do you mean like wouldn't
you just want the guy to
go right to the panic button the man in the boat and she was like no no fuck
with me a little bit
lick a little over here a little over there and i was like what are you crazy
but it blew my mind but
it was a it was a nice note good no it's also funny that you associate eating
pussy with a panic button
well that's the name of the clit i thought oh really that's like a euphemism is
it never heard it
again we need a lady in here matt have you heard you uh panic button jeez i don't
think that's a
thing man well tell that to the chat rooms i was in back in the 90s back when i'm
smashing her
anxiety uh button what i like to do is uh no uh you've heard man in the boat
man the boat i have
yes okay okay oh is that for the clit yeah that makes sense i've never heard it
looks like a boat
it's a guy in there yeah interesting uh or in the words of david tell the clit
it wears a hood like
a little racist that's a good yeah dude uh sorry delta flight oh it's awful it's
like the amount of
the amount of announcements this could be a peeve the amount of announcements
they make now and they're
all like by the way shout out to delta though for still serving alcohol yes a
lot of airlines i think
american doesn't do it no but delta does the announcement where they're like uh
do not bring
your own alcohol on board who's doing i know it's there's no one there's no one
in 10d with a
fucking old english all right like that's what they take away your booze if
here's the thing if if you
buy booze you got it at the airport so settle down yeah good point good point i
mean carlin did that
whole thing about if anyone else packed your bags he's like yeah you know what
back my bag carrot top
he's like this is such stupid it's like a comic who you're like none of this
you got vcr jokes you got
oj jokes you got to update that shit yeah no smoking we all know you can't
smoke who is smoking on the
plane i'll tell you though i was just on the subway there's a little kid uh on
a scooter and vaping on the
train no he's scooting back and forth on the train vaping it's like first off
scooter and vape pick one dip
no one let the combo is overbearing right but i see a lot of the cigarette
smokes on the train now
people just don't give a fuck what yeah just cigarette on the platform well
there's let the
traffic i don't know if you've noticed i mean i'm sure you have going to the
airport every week the
traffic's gotten worse yes less people are on the train but then less people on
the train so people
are like fuck this i'm doing whatever i want oh interesting yeah you're
probably right yeah
that's fascinating i never thought about that i haven't seen the smoking guy oh
i hate that guy
that's ballsy remember uh i opened for bill burr we got shit face at a mexican
restaurant
first time really hanging out with him he goes you want a cigar of course i'm
gonna say yes
and we just walked to the subway