Name: We Might Be Drunk Ep 43: Juiced Up
Uploaded: 2021-10-04T01:00:08.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'We Might Be Drunk Ep 43: Juiced Up' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-10-04. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'We Might Be Drunk Ep 43: Juiced Up' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-10-04. Transcript available.

We Might Be Drunk Ep 43: Juiced Up

we might be drunk we might be drunk as long as we are hanging out you know we
might be drunk
raise a glass let's talk shit pet peeves wrecks and a bit maybe drunk we might
be drunk
all right i'll tell you good to be here folks you're all right you're all right
all right
ready and go wow that was good that was good all right yeah hey all right we'll
keep it in hey we're
back baby we might be drunk episode i don't know 30 something probably who the
hell can keep track
we're drunk 36 34 32 42 yes like salacusa's age 1942 good producer really seems
to care yeah all right
well look we're back we're better than ever we're we're being healthy this week
look at this we got
wheatgrass shots we got smoothies we might be gay is this mine yeah no wait i
got the the red recovery
or whatever which i wanted a green one yeah flip it flip it the old um what is
it princess bride oh good
save that could have been ugly that was a wallace sean my dinner with andre one
of the greatest
snoozers of all right i used to love that movie oh i got crap for my told i
told you that i didn't like
i told my mom i didn't like you both loved it i loved it i was a film student
pretentious
content i told everybody i loved it but it is i couldn't watch it again let's
do it let's do a wheatgrass shot
hell yeah we gotta cleanse the system here what's it toast to
oh that's a good question i mean i love the weather in new york it's autumn
can't beat it 70 degrees outside and the sun is shining you know what's funny
this is going to be
harder to take than tequila oh it smells like crap this is hell we shoot
alcohol it's funny i see i see
people complain when they take a whiskey shot and i'm like yeah i don't want to
see my face after i take
this wheatgrass right yeah this is this is gonna be shooting another direction
oh yeah i'd rather drink jizz
that's not bad actually that wasn't bad i'm surprised it smells worse than it
is that's true
it's kind of like lawn trimmings oh man that was tough now does that actually
help is that
really doing anything nobody knows what do we know yeah i don't know if it
helps you see these
l.a people taking these every day and i'm like what do you know is that
anything your state's on fire
you know all homeless states on fire the whole thing that l.a homeless scene is
rough too because
it's like a lot you could tell a lot there's good-looking homeless people so
you could tell
a lot of them had bigger dreams oh that's true you see a hobo looks like hugh
jackman you're like
shit you should have been a contender right yeah because it used to be oh that's
a good-looking
actor i mean a good-looking waiter he's probably an actor now it's a good-looking
hobo this is pretty good i think we're gonna feel good after this i hope so
this is like the
opposite of a cocktail it's like it's it's not that good going down but i think
the other end
yeah we're good right now the beer jew is somewhere in new york going i feel a
weird pain in my chest
i feel like we're cheating on him with this shit well yeah man i'm i'm hurting
still but i'm getting
there the neck the back the neck's killing me but i'm getting there man what
are you what are you
gonna be like at 80 it ain't gonna be pretty i'm gonna be pushing you around in
a wheelchair
i'm gonna be i'm gonna be one of those guys who's like bent in half you ever
see those
the city literally broke them yes yes exactly like a right angle brutal
there you go yeah but that's got to start somewhere like have you seen bernie
sanders
posture oh man it's all shoulders it's just he's like a scarecrow yeah it's
just like you just see
all that anxiety he has you know he's like an anxious guy yeah you know it's
like all here all up there
he's got a hump that guy i mean that's just years of activism just weighing on
him like oh civil rights and
anti-semitism and uh you know rich people the hunchback of burlington
look at him he's not oh yeah oh man it's just no neck and his skin has turned
pink he looks like
a baby gerbil oh yeah there's some benjamin budden vibes going on what about my
ass yeah he does he's
got a real bridge troll thing cooking there he's like it's one of the he's the
eighth dwarf jewie he
scares you with he scares you with complaints because these allergies are
killing me oh my god
uh a future to believe in what what is he doing now i always wonder like yang
what's yang up to
all these guys oh he's still a senator oh is he yeah oh all right that's
something yeah he's still he's
still around what do they make just had a heart attack what they make a few
hundred k probably but
he's also rich from books oh yeah that was the whole thing that he has extra
that he has like a summer
home and you're like he's 80 right you know that's true he needs once you're
over 75 just let him have
it yeah that's true you know what they say after 75k a year you don't get
happier you ever heard that
i believe it yeah i believe it too well look at rodney dangerfield man still
miserable he was a
miserable guy i don't think i don't think money and fame bring you happiness no
because then you
there's always something if that's what you're chasing mm-hmm it's not
something that that
satisfies you yeah they say never buy your dream car because then you have
nothing to shoot for
it's just a metaphor even though i bought mine suck it people i can't drive so
oh yeah that works for
me so you'll be really miserable or i'll be really happy or happy or happy yeah
it's all a choice i just
need a dream car and to continue to never be able to drive and i'll stay happy
there you go yeah there
you go i'll give you a ride yeah that's true yeah they you got to find your own
happiness you got to
do it yourself it's all up here folks yeah that's what they say that's what
they say man yeah what uh
what's what's in your smoothie here what are you what are you sipping on here
oh i got i easily i got
some beets that's brain food they say yes beets and peppermint supposed to be
good for the brain
peppermint yeah i didn't know that yeah yeah beets by dre carrot i think some
radish and maybe uh
celery i don't know feel like celery is good for you i think it is it's the
only food where you eat
it and you burn calories because it's so has so little food like fat or
calories that actually
chewing it burns more than it is so why are we eating it uh taste good nope
nutrients you throw
some peanut butter on there it's pretty good ants on a log yeah a little raisin
action oh yeah peanut
butter is versatile man oh it's my favorite you can put it anywhere i get the
thing from uh amazon it's
like this big it's like a drum really oh yeah because i don't want to keep
buying it i keep buying it
every week i'm a junkie that's your advice peanut butter you never gotten the
almond butter craze i tried it
it doesn't hit the spot crunchy or creamy creamy what i know i get this every
time get this
every time what are you crunch ah you guys are a bunch of bernie bros with your
crunch crunch
what would you rather have who doesn't want crunch why would i want more
obstacles in my life i want
to just slurp it in is this is this in the olympics i don't need to be chewing
all day
all day what what about these uh natural peanut butters what a nightmare that
is where you got to
mix the oil in like well that's right at work that's work i'll give you that
work what am i amish
i'm fucking shaking it i'm churning butter here exactly i'm mixing things every
day get out of town
i just want to scoop it i can't believe you're creamy over my see my girlfriend
got creamy the other
day yeah and i was like i didn't say anything but i was kind of like what the
hell and i was like and then one
day i just i brought up i was like are you a creamy person and she and she goes
no i'm crunchy it's
just i only had creamy and i was like all right interesting i'm creamy over
nothing okay but i'm
crunchy if i've got the option i think i'm prison uh creamy oh yeah i got you
and i got you the only
thing there i'll take it but i prefer the term smooth if you call it creamy it
sounds a little
sexual yeah crunchy versus smooth sexual who would you rather hang out with a
guy who's crunchy or a
guy who's smooth did the sex act ruin the boston cream pie what is a boston
cream pie it's like a
what it was look but look it up it's like a it's like a cream pie i know the
cream pie i don't know
the boston cream pie that's where you get chocolate on top oh so the shit
involved oh like the boston
cream donut you ever do that oh yeah that's a good donut great donut there's a
boston but wait what's
the sex act it's got to be the cream pie is just you come inside someone their
ass and then it comes
out i believe but what makes it a boston yeah because that's just a green
father
like a clean cleveland steamer it doesn't come from cleveland i know but a
steamer isn't an act
a cream pie is no i know but it's got cleveland but there's no steamer alone a
cream pie can be alone
is what i'm saying i think the boston cream pie is when you cream inside a
woman and then uh go
chase your dreams like will hunting it's not your fault i gotta see about an
ass
what is the uh i went along i went longer for that joke and he went to go find
that girl
great role by the way by robin by robin williams oh yeah killed it as the
serious uh psychiatrist yeah i
just saw matt damon in an interview say that their whole idea was like i think
they heard reservoir dogs
tarantino got 500k of funding once they got harvey keitel attached so that when
he and ben affleck
were writing it they were like we just need to get one actor attached and we
can get this made so they
they cast such a wide net with that character like it could have been a woman
we voted so like if
meryl streep was interested it could work we could have been a black guy we
could have had that like
southey tension oh yeah we're like if denzel was interested and then they got
you know robin williams
wow killed it won the oscar right won the oscar i believe he did i think he did
i think i know they
won for writing i don't know if he won for that i think he won i think he won
look it up that year
i think it was 97. they were so that was a hot year hot year well i think uh
was that uh la conf
i think that might have been the next year but um or maybe or is that love oh
titanic yes you're
right titanic boogie nights wow as good as it gets oh that was a fun year
movies really fell off a
cliff they really did the 90s man they were on a tear it was like saving
private ryan forrest gump
pulp fiction and he got that role he said he got that role because robin williams
introduced him to
spielberg wait who uh-huh oh oh david mad damon of spielberg so he was like uh
oh he like he had
gained weight i guess because he was really skinny for some movie he'd done and
he's like oh i saw you
in that i really liked you but like and so the guy needs to be heavier and then
adam he was like oh
he's heavier wow i think it was courage under five yes that's what it was you're
good that's what put
him on the map because he got really thin they were right here about 1997 best
supporting actor
goodwill hunting hell yeah this is good dude i never do this we gotta like it
you did green and
green yeah the green shot and the green drink it's all green green new deal
what did you get you got
the orange pizzazz and it's got like a recovery yeah it's a lot of carrot yeah
a lot of ginger a lot of
ginger uh-huh ginger you don't like it it just burns i don't know why it's good
is that good i mean i
think so depends what the name was all right i'll tell you was it worth it
there it was there's a clip
yeah i was i was a smoothie every other day guy for a while really they're so
expensive in new
york they're like 20 bucks now yeah roy wood's got that great bit about uh
peach tranquility he goes
the tranquility is like five dollars just give me the peach man i like how you
did a little rodney on
that too you guys want to hear my prior i'll tell you the cups uh boy roy wood
