Name: We Might Be Drunk Ep 47: You Got A Friend In Us
Uploaded: 2021-11-01T01:00:05.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'We Might Be Drunk Ep 47: You Got A Friend In Us' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-11-01. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'We Might Be Drunk Ep 47: You Got A Friend In Us' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-11-01. Transcript available.

We Might Be Drunk Ep 47: You Got A Friend In Us

we might be drunk we might be drunk as long as we are hanging out you know we
might be drunk
raise a glass let's talk shit pet peeves wrecks and a bit maybe drunk we might
be drunk yeah
happy halloween here we are we might be drunk we might be pedophiles we might
be too old for
costumes uh but we're doing it i love halloween one of my favorite holidays
sorry christians the
pagans are taking over you look great you look i love the buzz light year to
infinity i'm a buzzed
light year uh-huh once we get those drinks in us and i got a woody when i see
kids knocking at my
door that's a full-size snicker oh dude how about those people when you trick-or-treat
and they give
you the full size that was like that was that was a biggie power move that's
some guy being like hell
yeah i do pretty well yeah i'm in a different tax bracket than old uh you know
circus peanut lady over
there circus peanut we have them they might they might be the worst candy
imagine the worst i didn't
even know they're on the table i would have yanked oh terrible that is horrible
what about the uh the
the razor blade and the apple is that real no come on who's spending time doing
that i think snopes
uh investigated that and found out that it was the dad who did it to his son
what to prove a point
how do you like that so it's only one case of it and it was an inside job there
you go kind of like
911 man oh yeah that's uh that's crazy man that's uh you know what else here's
another one when you
trick-or-treat you ever have these people that leave out the bowl yes and they're
like take one and
you're like yeah right that's why you just got fucking burned yeah by woody and
buzz that's why communism
doesn't work because people you can't trust them they're selfish i just took
the fucking bowl when
i did that you took the whole bowl well i didn't take the candy the candy was
always gone but i took
the wooden bowl home were you martha stewart what the hell are you doing i
gotta get something out
of this lady i'm joking i didn't take this is uh whoppers are underrated whoppers
aren't bad
whoppers i like a malted milk ball dude i don't mind a little what is malt and
there's malt liquor yeah
then there's malt uh with a milkshake a malt yeah and there's whopper malt i
don't know
malt it's walmart yeah single malt you're right we can make it three minutes
without you farting
it's the costume by the way here can i give you a peeve out of the gate oh geez
because i had to get
we got some tums here because i got some heartburn oh boy yeah real real fun
time with the tums here we
got all this candy you're bringing the the antacids jesus everything everything
that
fucking uh cvs is locked up now because these looters you literally i have to
hit a button
because i want some gas x now which is ridiculous i love locking up everything
i love the guy ranting
in the woody outfit ah they're locking up these looters i'll tell you give me
my lasso i'm gonna get
these guys i like them i like a whopper i like a whopper too i knock on wood i've
never had heartburn
i don't know what that is never no whoa bear jew coming at ya this is smoky he
can't see
shit he's like ray charles out here with the with the cocktails oh can we get a
picture of matt too who
is dressed as walter from big lebowski get our producer this is killer he
nailed it you nailed
a screenshot that is a great costume well done that's a costume where you get a
lot of like
thumbs up yes on the street that is perfect so this is a black manhattan yeah
wow damn miraculous kiss
how do you like that black manhattan huh it's like it's like the 80s in manhattan
look at this
that's when it was scary yeah wow it's like my ex this thing is really smoking
it's like a radio raheem
so what what do we got here do tell oh my god that's fucking crazy right it's
like charcoal-y
yeah yeah so uh what makes it black is the activated charcoal so you can use
that to like
color drinks and it's also actually pretty good as like a detox thing huh i've
been meaning to get
healthier you can detox while you're in talks so that's what they give uh
people to od right they
make them drink charcoal and they yak i've heard you ever heard that uh yeah
probably i mean oh no
charcoal stops you from uh from it coats the lining of your stomach and it
stops you from absorbing
whatever toxins are coming in next doesn't make you yak so this is actually
kind of healthy
it's stopping the bourbon but uh yeah you can hear the bubble get your ear on
that thing
yeah you'll hear it bubbling it's like risk crispy treats for alcoholics yeah
yeah it's gonna dissolve
in a few minutes you'll be fine just don't eat the ice and that's it what if i
do eat the ice what
will happen to me uh you'll get frostbite on the inside of your body are you
serious we're rolling
the dice on our health for a cool looking cocktail what the hell man then your
obituary photo is you as a
little cowboy you're giving the eulogy weeks later like why is he still wearing
the buzz light your
costume i wanted to show my camaraderie
this is good yeah it is good manhattan is my favorite cocktail really i think
it's number one
it's up there for sure i like a negroni i like a martini but i think you can't
beat a great bourbon
cocktail you know i know it's true and it is a real cocktail like i like a bourbon
neat i like
a scotch on the rocks but that's not really a cocktail that's just a drink this
is good dude
hmm look at it we got korean candies wow squid game this is fried chicken what
the hell what the
hell are they doing over there man i heard there's some slavery oh that's china
oh is this chinese
actually i'm sorry uh-oh where'd you get this from the korean grocery right
japanese oh god damn that
was that was rough well what can you do damn what can japanese have fried
chicken candy remember that
old chapelle joke what was it i'm korean do i look chinese to you yeah
motherfucker you do
that's his joke yeah but we all laughed so did the audience in the half of america
should we try the
fried chicken i'm curious yeah please you gotta open everything because i got
uh oven mitts on basically
here i love the red that's not bad the red sash there i didn't know you were in
the crypts there we
go oh that's interesting yeah it's not that good you want to try it not for me
what do you rank uh if
we're going halloween candies what do you like like a heath bar heath is okay
you know me i don't like
crunch i don't like hard butterfinger too hard heath is a little hard but let's
go top five what's this
looks uh asian again all the asian stuff we're not going to know they have all
kinds of kooky flavors
what is that smells horrible horrible might be pussy then hold on whoo that's
some kind of shrimp
thing you don't want that shrimp candy you just bought a bunch of colorful
packaging matt i don't
know if this is actually chocolate or anything but i'm really going crazy with
the candy here yeah
kids it's halloween you want some mackerel
good fish choice rainbow trout okay pride blow a line dude yeah what's that
bath salts
oh that's a good manhattan that's good dude yeah but where are you ranking
these candies like i
three musketeers to me is kind of trash it's a little basic as the kids say
there's nothing to
it it's just nougat and chocolate so they're not taking any risks but i'm going
number one for me
is reese's wow really number one the chocolate peanut butter the interracial
the coming together
it's a perfect ratio of each and i think the little ones are better than the
big ones
i haven't seen it while but score bar score that's kind of like a heath isn't
it kind of thinner but
it's more it's toffee toffee but hard crunchy hate the hard he hates this hate
hard if i was gay i'd
be a flaccid lover snickers i would put two you could be a straight flaccid
lover why do you have to be
gay for that one what do you mean like of a woman yeah oh okay okay well i'm a
man so yeah i would
say uh if i was gay but oh you would be into it okay yeah i get it now i'm
sorry how about what do we
stand i think these are kind of underrated the hershey's cookies and cream i
don't love it oh i'm a fan
that's like when they do double down or the the you know what's that it's it's
too much it's too it's
a speed ball we we got heroin we got coke we can't have both matt pull up the
uh can you pull up the
hershey's i think it's like the golden it's like it's like the hershey's it's
like golden nugget or
something it's really good it's not golden nugget it's like pretzel golden pretzel
or something look
up interesting they're really good it's like it's like a kiss type thing it's
like when a chick says
i'm gonna blow you and put ice in my mouth you know it's already good okay but
i'm gonna blow you
up with a finger in the butt things can be improved upon that's true that's
true okay okay i'll give
you that that thing yeah what is it called hershey's gold pretzel blossom that's
not it whoa
that's not it good show from the 90s no it's not it um whoa
oh that blossom yeah he's a blossom you caught my reference oh i this must be a
dipped pretzels
this has got a bug in it man the the japanese are very reckless with their
snacks it's like it's like
you can't have uh pleasure without pain in their culture or something right
because it's like
you're right it's like you get this but then it's like what you got to be very
careful you get down to
the bottom yeah yeah it's like squid game right yeah yeah i guess we are a lot
that's not it that's
also it's not peanut butter it's like pretzel uh that's it that's it in the
middle this thing here
oh never heard of the gold those are fucking good dude never heard have you
ever been to the hershey
factory in pennsylvania no it's kind of fun devito and i went there years ago
and we played the harrisburg
uh comedy zone oh yeah right swear to god there were murders happening that
night in that hotel
without question i believe it i'm googling la quinta across the street like
someday
is anything good happening to la quinta not one good thing how hitler was born
in a little kinta
one good thing has come out of a kinta and every once in a while you'll see a
city where there's
like a pricey one and you're like you're not fooling me yeah what are you doing
here yeah
what is la quinta what does that mean i don't know can't be good i think it's
not 15 the 15 or
something i don't know what is the five the five yeah is it like a motor say
right what oh yeah
quinceanera the fifth the fifth it's the fifth worst hotel in america no it's
worse than that yeah
you plead the fifth after you there there it is i need to fit the gin after uh
sleeping there
man this is and you got a little death uh oh yeah the skull yeah nice touch
there very good you
you know where'd you get the theme we're gonna go theme and you even got your
little smoky uh
drinks on the bar there well done witch's potions yeah so you're going number
one
reese's number one for me matt what do you guys weigh in on number one
snickers has got to be in the mix it's a classic too i think snickers is a
classic twix
twix i i might go twix one one underrated hundred grand by the way underground
is a great candy
under grand eh yeah you never see them nobody ever eats them because they're
too rich 100
grand is good that's why they come in two bites per packet oh that's right they're
very rich they're
very good 100 grand is good yeah same how about i'm gonna go number one this
might if we're going
candy or we going chocolate let's go chocolate because i'm a big candy i'm a
big rolo guy uh rolo
rolo might be my number one we're talking about caramel here rolo is a fucking
underrated treat it's
a delight rolo is a circular candy with a caramel inside yes all right yeah
that is pretty damn good
yeah the shape of it matters too yeah it looks like a butt plug it does yeah or
like a slug a bullet
it tastes good though man do we have rolos in this big uh uh time to fire peters
we had rolls but rachel
ate them oh that fucking whor