Name: We Might Be Drunk Ep 50: Hot Toddy’s w/ Tom Thakkar
Uploaded: 2021-11-22T02:00:16.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'We Might Be Drunk Ep 50: Hot Toddy’s w/ Tom Thakkar' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-11-22. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'We Might Be Drunk Ep 50: Hot Toddy’s w/ Tom Thakkar' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-11-22. Transcript available.

We Might Be Drunk Ep 50: Hot Toddy’s w/ Tom Thakkar

we might be drunk we might be drunk as long as we are hanging out you know we
might be drunk
raise a glass let's talk shit pep peeps rex and a bit maybe drunk we might be
drunk
yeah hello welcome to we might be drunk yeah gobble gobble look at i got my
grandma's uh
arm fat going look at this this is a full-on turkey baby it's great we had a
native american but sam
gave him smallpox so he's not here but hey man we got our buddy tom takar hey
what's up there is
comic also a pilgrim like yeah and both learn air max i think we got screwed on
this deal i think you
got the nice one you like that looks much more comfortable yeah it is pretty
comfortable it's
velvet here feel that that's nice i mean this is some some prime turkey i knew
you were a little
i i felt a little resentful that i got to be uh woody and you were buzz oh yeah
i wanted to be
woody but i feel like i'm redeemed i'm back i mean i could wear this to bed it's
nice this is very
nice is this amazon matt uh he's not listening all right i bet it's amazon and
we got the bear jew back
i don't even know what we're drinking what are we doing here don't forget tommy
over there oh you
gotta hook me up brother we're doing it since it's thanksgiving it's getting a
little colder
we're doing uh a hot apple cider spice hot toddy yeah hot apple oh my lord
toddy hey look at that hey to america so clear up the uti let's do it
i'm shocked you didn't use a little wild turkey dude that is incredible that's
so good oh my god
what makes it what's giving it that little pop oh we got the uh local high
honey in there right
and we heat it up with some uh cinnamon sticks and star anise that's what it is
a little bit of orange
and a little lemon oh that's delightful i need this caramel apple cider too oh
my god i mean you've
heard of such a thing i'm gonna drink this when i'm sick like it actually does
help it actually
does help you're feeling under the weather it'll clear you up do you think one
helps that's like
alcoholic talk right there it's every time i do something like that i'm like i
have a problem
i'll do it i'll be like guys switch to hot toddies will be good when i had
covid i was doing
shit like that what oh only the last couple days i couldn't i couldn't do it
how long did you have
covered for i had i didn't have the long i had uh i had the regular covid but i
had it for like
it was like nine days of it being brutal and i kept being like oh it's great i'll
be like on
vacation i like had booze ready to go you're gonna be on vacation because i had
to take all my spots
off and i was like oh this is great this will be great i'll watch i watched madmen
yeah i watched
a bunch of shit it was great top to bottom i finished it i it took me 10 years
to watch mad
men such a good it's so good but it's so slow it's that's why you wanted to
drink yeah yeah that show
makes me want to drink dude it was brutal i was watching them drink all the
time i was like that
looks so fun but i couldn't do it i physically couldn't do it i don't know how
they do it yeah
they were doing that on work days it'd be like 11 30 and they would just clink
two glasses together
and make a deal yeah but you know what those were that it made you want to work
yeah because you're
like i got a meeting you're like but we'll have fucking oysters and martinis i
know it was a better
time not knowing when shit was bad like they didn't know cigarettes were bad
they didn't know booze
was bad you know you ate a burger it was all normal must have known it was you
you woke up
feeling horrible i don't think you wake up from a hangover at 45 from vodka and
you're like that
was that was probably true but the smoking they didn't know i think they
thought it was like good
for you yeah they were like yeah you gotta you need a cigarette like in the
hospital you're like
they're giving it to kids come on have a little now you know the vibrator was
invented because a woman
uh it was for like female hysteria is that right give it a goog oh this guy's
not even on the cans
look that up matt vibrator was invented for women with hysteria because
apparently they first doctors
would do it manually nice and then after really they got carpal tunnel after
doctor used to be a great
gig i don't know is that that fun just fingering an 80 year old like it depends
on the patient i guess
what's her name gladys fuck yeah you go to the hospital it's not usually a
bunch of babes in the
bed yeah good point good point i don't know i had an orthodontist when i was a
kid and all the nurses
were like 11s and he was like some old guy with white hair but i guess he got
to pick the nurses yeah true
that's weird to pick a nerd if that's it's not like being a waitress like they
kind of have to bring
it yeah yeah it's weird to go by looks yeah that's a good point you need them
to be good at what they're
doing a little bit uh yeah read this what is this joseph granville patented an
electro mechanical
vibrator in the early 1880s to relieve muscle aches and doctors soon realized
it might be used
on other parts of the body the innovation treatment but treatment for hysteria
wow there you go same deal
with fleshlights yes this man's hysterical you ever used one i i bought one
when i was i bought one you
bought one i bought when i was blackout drunk which is not true because i
remember doing it
but i used to that used to be a bit of mine but this is true after my i i got
engaged when i was like 21.
it fell apart i went to i moved back to my hometown i became i started drinking
all the time and my house
was like a five-minute walk from the bar and along that walk was a porn store
of course it was called
college books because students would go there buy porn and they didn't want
their parents credit card
it's smart but i i bought an eight dollar uh like fake vagina and yeah they
told me to buy lube and i
was broke at the time and i was like your upsells or whatever i got it back to
my place and it was
disgusting and so i tried and it burns on your cock trying to fuck it it was
painful it looked like one
of those like tubes it's like got the gel in it or whatever that you win at
like the carnival or
whatever and i didn't i couldn't do it and then i rolled it up into a towel and
forgot about it and
then when me and my buddy were moving it was in my dresser and it the drawer
fell out i was moving with
his dad yeah and it fell out and it felt the towel fell on the ground on the
driveway and the
fucking thing unrolled and the fake vagina just rolled down into the into the
into the driveway
and he just didn't say anything but yeah it was only real vaginas can make such
a graceful exit
right wow yeah i mean i'm guilty of fucking everything in the house as a kid
really like the couch
the bed foods all kinds of shit anything that like was like look like a hole
that was it like oh that's
cool like even like in fences yeah you're like oh i bet might get stick it in
there exactly paper towel
holder that was a big one paper paper paper holder seems like it'll be great
too because you could
just put like a napkin at the end of it it's like clean up and you throw it
away but it's just too bad
they should make paper towel holders like the the thing like softer yeah i know
right yeah bounty get
on that shit yeah you're the quilted quicker picker upper act like it you know
i remember watching
scared straight when i was younger and there was one guy like i can make the
best
pussy you ever felt paper towel roll wet paper towels a couple of this a little
that like some jelly
this and that he's like you will never need a woman again you're like you've
been in here 30 years
you're just gay it's all right
this is good and it gives you something to do with the role because you got to
just throw that away
it's over yeah this is like it's good for the environment it's green that's
true yeah
there you go the guy who makes the vagina that's pretty rough yeah yeah yeah
because you're like
what is what are you using like what is your test like yeah what is your
research yeah you don't have
people being like you're not trying it on mice right you're the you're the lab
you think you'd go gay
how long would it take in prison to do the shower sex not like put on you i
know some guys will pin
you up against you i think i would just jerk off like i would just try to find
like a nook and you
say that but after seven years what did i what crime did i commit here i will
say grand theft auto
grand theft auto so you're in there for a good 15. how long would i mean it's
nothing it's not like i'm
anti-gay i just don't think i don't think i'd do it i don't know but you ever
in a class in college
you're like oh there's no hot girls in this class then you by the third week
you're like well you know
sure she's on a rascal but she's got nice eyes and then he just started it just
starts weaning you
down what casino did you go to college in i think in between the thumbprint and
getting booked yeah
i'd go gay right right immediately i mean look who knows yeah you don't know
but i think i would
just like hope to get magazines oh yeah yeah you know they said cigarettes were
the number one currency
in jail and now it's ramen noodle what yeah why is that why is that i don't
know i guess you'd rather
eat than smoke yeah but you'd think it would be a better food or something at
least because
isn't that like the shittiest well you're not getting uh you know cheddar bay
biscuits in there
people will do the uh the seasoning and just eat them raw nice to do that yeah
in a squid game they're
doing that and that there's have you seen squid game they're eating the guy's
just eating the ramen
dry like a snack with the thing it's like people love that it's terrible yeah i'd
give it a shot
yeah yeah i'm a big cup of noodles fan this is fantastic yeah i'm i'm gonna
warn you i might fly
through these i got more than enough nice i gotta say out of the gate i gotta
say that i love you
wearing a carmella soprano shirt yeah yeah it's my it's my buddies uh this band
wild pink check them
out oh nice yeah they is that their logo carmella they just put that on their
shirt and i was like that
is brilliant because i liked the music and then i was like oh but i love that
shirt
tommy you don't even need to yeah yeah there we go still the best show oh it's
so good mad men
and sopranos this is this is a we might be drunk episode and we're talking
about those two shows
yeah that's true oh good somebody made a drinking game out of our show so it's
a rodney impression
i fart i burp you uh something watching a movie with my girlfriend i was like
what's all i do i'm
tired from the road i just watch movies mark gives hobo advice a lot of a lot
of mark talks about
banging someone on a scooter that's uh so many of them actually turned into
like it's like steel toilet
paper and you can get free copper off the railroad tracks mark's still stealing
despite making a ton of
money mark's doing great on the road it's a hobby it's like it's like kanye
stealing the only fans
thing like it wait what did he do kanye steals only fans off of reddit he said
he like he doesn't
pay for only fans it's like you got to act poor to stay rich hey mark's on the
tip yeah but also you
you don't kanye's got billions i think right he does billions i mean the he
doesn't need he can
he can pay for only fans i think he just probably doesn't respect porn no he's
right that's what
it is yeah yeah for sure i mean i i've never paid i'm a dramamine guy at the
airport because it helps
me sleep on the plane it's like eighteen dollars for motion sickness i know but
it's so drowsy
inducing yeah yeah yeah but you don't get you don't get like a hangover from it
or anything so i pop a
couple dramine on a plane but they're like eighteen dollars for a little tube
it's crazy because it's the
hudson news so they upsell everything upcharge and uh i've never paid for one i've
you just swipe it from
the airport every time you swipe dude every time i thought about 