Name: We Might Be Drunk Ep 51: The Musical
Uploaded: 2021-11-29T02:00:08.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'We Might Be Drunk Ep 51: The Musical' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-11-29. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'We Might Be Drunk Ep 51: The Musical' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-11-29. Transcript available.

We Might Be Drunk Ep 51: The Musical

we might be drunk we might be drunk as long as we are hanging out you know we
might be drunk
raise a glass let's talk shit have peeps wrecks and a bit maybe drunk we might
be drunk yeah
ah here we are we might be drunk we're back we're off the road we're in manhattan
it's
holiday season what are we drinking today uh we got some gin and tonics oh all
right the bear jew
transitioned fully not really a cold weather drink but what the hell what the
hell it's nice in here
you know what these thank you internal affairs it's great what's great about
these is you have them
while you're waiting for the family you know when the food's cooking you throw
a few of these in
yeah and you can handle your aunt i love a gin and tonic oh yeah i i prefer
like the soda i don't
the sugar just you don't think of tonic as having sugar i know but it's got
sugar i just don't like
the sugar just you just feel gross yeah you don't poison i can do it's the
sugar you don't taste it
either isn't that weird when there's sugar in something and you don't taste sugary
yeah so it's
it's a waste yeah yeah what i'm getting the calories and none of the sweet yeah
it's like when you find
out you're like fig newtons you're like they're not even that healthy i know
remember snack wells oh
pull up snack wells oh you got the malamars i'm pulling up malamars don't get
me started on uh
devil's food bullshit all that shit um was it snack wells malamars here's my
issue with malamars
there's too much going on picolane you got you got the you got the marshmallow
the graham cracker
crust and the is that graham cracker what is it it's just a cookie cookie crust
cookie crust cookie
crust they're good it's it's not my go-to i'm a simple man i didn't realize
until just this moment
but that's a s'more no s'more is a comedian she's a black lady comedian
remember geraldos roast joke
connor goes when it comes to comedy shows we could use some less oh that was
great once the caroline
did you she was great yeah she seems cool super cool i mean she's been through
the ringer yeah all
those older black comics are like seasoned yeah and you know much like well
those black shows when
you're coming up or like sorry i go my old bae uh no those black shows i
remember like mike lawrence
and i used to go to like mocha's lounge oh yeah i went to a few of those with
uh smoky smoky yeah he
was cool super cool super funny and like you see these guys up in these harlem
rooms and you're like
you guys are all amazing but you'll never make it you know you're all like 64
you're smoking on stage
you're killing you got a cane you got diabetes you're calling the lady in the
front row a hoe
murdering and they're all brilliant and hilarious but they're just stuck in harlem
sad it's a fun room
though and i remember watching lawrence just do like uh comic book references
that they're just
like what we don't fucking watch this that motherfucker's an aquaman but then
you know i
i had i remember i had one i i remember i had one joke killing there that was
just like phil i mean
it gave you confidence you're like it's a different type of crowd oh yeah you
know it's coliseum it's
either this or this you know there's not much in the middle either crushed or
they booed you they smell
fear you're dead oh yeah and you got to try not to do the token white guy
because that's that's what
your brain's like just get out just do the token white guy it's easy they'll
love it but you gotta
be you yeah first time i went full token really yeah i was scared and they
played some like two chains
to bring me up and i was like two chains why not one and they're like this this
motherfucker corny you
know just uh i had to play ball you know corny is like the highest praise from
a black crowd no
what's the highest bad no no highest play praise is you crazy or you're stupid
stupid all insults
you're like you moron you're like all right cut it out we love you no no you're
stupid that's stupid
while they're laughing is good oh he's stupid yeah that's good or uh yeah what
else is good uh crazy's
good crazy's good yeah he don't play i don't know what was the martin lorence
special you so crazy
that's right that's right yeah yeah oh and that n-word's crazy yeah yeah that's
tough uh asking for
the record i know i know i don't want to uh i have some records at home i want
to put up and i can't
put a bicentennial n-word on my wall oh i got that that's on my wall really
yeah right next to cosby
and then woody allen i got an epstein record up there he did a christmas album
i forgot jelaine's
greatest hits my favorite the 12 kids of christmas all right um yeah man i i
don't i mean we can try
them i'm not i love i've never had one i maybe i'll be wrong i haven't had them
forever because i'm
i'm a simple man i like like a lorna dune i want a shortbread cookie with my
coffee lorna dune what's
that sounds like a writer shortbread cookie yeah yeah who's lorna dune have you
read lorna dune's
review on the uh symphony it sounds like a like a women's uh mystery uh writer
yeah yeah the lorna dune
what is a lorna dune it's that little thing oh yeah those are good cookies man
i don't know just
that box looks like my grandma's house i wouldn't walk right past that grandma's
box no that's a lot
dustier but uh oh hey thank you wow these are beautiful yeah uh i thought it
looks like a uh
toss macaroon yes which sounds like a racial slur by the way a couple of macaroons
a little bit about
uh how every chinese restaurant the the names just sound like a slur yes you
goddamn golden noodles
all the other ones uh let's see panda king panda king was the big one yeah that
that was like my big
first big bit in new york that's good it is good oh that was wrong the shell
the candy shell i'll give
it to the big man to admit it it's a big man okay a big man really seems to kid
everybody drink
this is pretty good it's just it's just very rich like first few bites are good
but like how many of
these can you really i guess that's good they're only available like november
to january you can't
get them it's like the mcrib of of candy is that is that true yeah yeah they
shut it down i don't
know why they shut it down i don't know it's like too rich maybe it's a
marketing thing they know you'll
buy it more if it's special yeah yeah what they got me yeah they got you these
are great you know
what's great about there's a lot going on but they make it work they got they
keep it in line now the
secret is to freeze them oh boy yeah that's a real treat all right yeah that
sounds good yeah
freezing candy like charleston chew frozen pretty good i think i brought that
up before but i don't
like hard food so i'm not into the freezing yeah you don't freeze ever no i don't
freeze no freeze i'm
anti-freeze hey how about the fridge we do the fridge i'll do fridge but
freezer just makes things
hard i can't have a crouton i can't have a biscoff yeah and it's candy to me
that's a perfect candy i'm
not gonna ruin it with making it hard yeah i wonder i wonder if the people who
are in charge i'm sure
they don't care but maybe there's like some you know malamar purists out there
who are like you
don't freeze it right that's not how you consume the malamar yes now there is a
bar called frozen you
ever had one of those no no it's called a zero oh we brought this up oh sorry
sorry zero is meant to be
frozen because like zero degrees oh how about those uh ice cream candy bars
like you get like a twix or
snickers ice cream bar or choco taco those are so good that you feel guilty
eating them you know yeah
i've never i've never gotten one of those not high i don't think that's like
that is like a high
person's that's what you crave that's so the twix the twix ice cream bars oh i
don't know snickers is
hard to beat but oh shit i had a point damn it oh tom paul f tompkins used to
have this great bit
he's like what's better cake or pie and everybody's yelling cake pie pie goes
cake is better because it
has frosting and when you eat frosting you feel shame that's how good it is it
was it was a it was a
great bit i remember that bit it was like a long bit long bit he could really
milk yeah he was good
gross so good uh his first album impersonal give that a whirl yeah he could
really milk like a
prostitute as well what uh yeah malamars these are pretty good matt i gotta
give it to you and
i feel like i wouldn't have like 10 of these which is nice like i have oreos i
mean the whole box
oh yeah oreos are fucking good and now they have too many flavors though they're
getting carried away
i do like that double stuff though double stuff is is i mean that's you know
what we like you gave
it to us yes exactly exactly i like the blonde one though too i like the
another blonde yeah i like
the maybe it's not called the blonde maybe it's called the the honky i don't
know what it's called
but i prefer the interracial the original black and white it's pretty good but
dude i like the uh
and something about an oreo that's pretty classic yeah i agree now let me ask
you this tomorrow is
hanukkah over the first day it is it's hanukkah it's day six oh we're already
on day six yeah wow
it flew by uh do you do stuff do you get a gift every day do you give a gift
what what are we doing
do you i don't know everything everything's gotten weird you know it's like how
many things are we
gonna do i mean it's a lot of things i want to get my my folks something but
yeah i mean
i don't my my i remember attelle used to have a bit about like how my family
was cheap you know
they'd be like you know night one you get a bike handlebars you know yeah and
then builds to a bike
builds to a bike but like yeah i mean it was like everyone says like hanukkah's
better because not
everyone there's a few jews i don't think everyone's saying hanukkah's better
that came out a few proud
boys disagree a few proud boys like actually hanukkah's pretty cool they got us
there no you get
you get eight crazy nights so that's the whole thing but then it's like the
truth is you they kind of
it's usually one cool thing and a bunch of like guys like on night one hanukkah
chocolates
and you're just like all right socks that you love as an adult but as a kid you're
just like
i mean as an adult socks or you guys one of those socks i got you right yeah as
an adult it's fine
but as a kid as a kid it's brutal it's like vegetables you appreciate it as an
adult well said
the sock is the vegetable of gifts yeah you don't get it till later yeah that's
good
yeah i don't know shiver is the vegetable of people oh man yes whatever
happened to her i don't think
it ended well ah they pulled the plug yeah oh good well you know she went
peacefully i don't
i don't know i think that looks rough was there i think there's like a nine-year
fight between her
parents and her husband the husband said pull the plug parents said no oh it's
also a great yeah it's
a great symbol for that this country can't agree on anything i know i know that
was kyle rittenhouse
of its day that's what it was and then what's up with kevorkian remember that
guy oh dr death
dr death that guy was the king i mean is it wrong what do you think let's i
mean i went to him with
strep and he said i should kill myself but i thought that was rough you're like
i got a zit
he's like do it put the gun down doctor jesus i use yeah i mean he people
wanted to die and he
helped him i don't know some could say he's a hero yeah pacino played him in a
movie oh yeah i'm
killing people oh yeah she was a
the patient's face you broke my heart i knew it was you uh so sam is a new york
jew how do you spell
hanukkah what's the proper i go i go with the h the classic okay people do the
ch who does that israelis
do ch american jews do h i don't even know the difference i don't know the
difference either but
i will tell you i go h like why are we confusing people here yeah i don't know
i don't know i only
celebrate juneteenth so mark's a kwanzaa man yes the celebration of lights no
idea what kwan