Name: We Might Be Drunk Ep 56: Teremana & Soda
Uploaded: 2022-01-03T02:00:01.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'We Might Be Drunk Ep 56: Teremana & Soda' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-01-03. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'We Might Be Drunk Ep 56: Teremana & Soda' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-01-03. Transcript available.

We Might Be Drunk Ep 56: Teremana & Soda

we might be drunk we might be drunk as long as we are hanging out you know we
might be drunk
raise a glass let's talk shit pep peeps wrecks and a bit maybe drunk we might
be drunk yeah
yo happy new year we love you guys thank you for listening uh dude happy new
year hey happy new
2022 here we are came out of nowhere oh god this is crazy i know we lost so
much time with the
pandem and i hate losing time we're both scared of death you know so we're
opening well i'm just
saying it's it's a looming fear just waiting there it is the sickle just coming
down on us
yeah so we create it's coming that's our answer to death is creating yeah i
think about that a lot
that guy you do so many late night sets i was like oh that dude's scared of
death oh he wants a catalog
yes i want a canon what is a canon you ever heard canon yeah sure the canon
yeah the the is the body
what is it what's the difference in a canon a catalog is there i guess catalog
is what you sell coats out
of you know or a west elm catalog you don't have a west elm canon is there a
difference what do we got
a general law rule principle criterion which a collate but also a collection of
sacred yeah it's i think it's both
oh the canon's a little more sacred
biblical canon all right all right good to know we're doing a little we don't
have the beer jew this week
we're doing a little taramana and soda it's a new year we want to start light
mm-hmm tequila soda though you can't go wrong with a little fruit in there it's
nice we're out of lime
i wish we had one i want i want a lime a lime goes a long way like you ever do
a shot of tequila and
you hit that lime and you go i'm completely cured isn't that crazy well they
use it for dead bodies
do they in the war they'd use limes lime juice is that am i wrong you're
thinking of lime l-y-m-e
that's a different lime that's how they bury people lime disease lime and limes
are very different
do they not use yeah i'm a real fucking idiot for saying that right now well i
i've only seen it
in like here's another one mustard gas real mustard that's dijon baby i thought
they used lime to kill
smells though am i that fucking dumb that i just said that is there lime and
smelling salt what's in a
smelling salt but wait oh we're still on the lime thing does limes kill smells
oh wait
a minute controlling odors from pets and livestock i don't know about the dead
bodies though
huh i might have overstepped here i think it's you're thinking of lime they
always pour that on
the graves um yeah but lime does it does something it is something about like
that tequila shot where
you're like oh my god i know it's it helps you it's nothing works all the time
except limes and
chapstick chapstick works man you put that shit on your life it's a minute yeah
but it's like coke
it wears off coming back for more it's like it's like you feel like a degenerate
gambler asking for
a loan that's right that's what chapstick is chapstick is short money you know
it'll get you by but it
ain't lasting you're better off investing that's why i never use it i don't own
one chapstick my girl
all day is just you don't own one no i don't want it i got one right here you
see you're gonna rely on it
uh what i got another oh you got burt's bees and chapstick by the way i handed
to burt's bees for
coming in on that monopoly and trying to make its own way because they they
came in chapstick had the
market cornered it's like kleenex when you talk about tissues and you're like
kleenex you're like
that's a brand that's a brand band-aid that's another one they're good that's a
name for that
give that a goog what's the name of that term where you have the brand and they
take over sharpie is
another one give me a sharpie i think highlighter might be one too but i might
be overstepping
there's a name for that term oh 41 but what's it called yeah xerox taser google
gen there google's a big one big one i'm gonna google that wow they fucking
that's crazy no one
says i'm gonna yahoo that genericization i'm gonna ask jeeves that yeah you got
that right
generic generation i might say i might be saying that wrong genericization that
looks right all
right what about um and do you have any uh new year's resolutions mark i never
do them never i feel
like if you got a thing just do it because if you have to talk about it and at
a party here's my
resolution you're not really gonna do it fair enough you're all talk but this
is a podcast true
good point nothing that you want to change uh all right here's one all right i
uh when the when
the covet hit the gym my gym closed and i just stopped i used to go to the gym
twice a week it
was like part of my life the the rec center yeah same really yeah yeah the rec
center is the best
deal in new york yeah it's like 80 bucks a year you get the ping pong you get
the shower you get the
basketball you get the weight room the swimming pool the swimming is what i
would do i mean it's
you and a bunch of geriatrics but fuck it you also feel like a badass in there
geriatrics in better
shape than me i i there used to always be i used to a bit about this but there
used to always be a
woman on a noodle and you just have to swim around her and you're like this is
the dumbest setup for
through your exercise there's so many asian dudes there the asians love it swim
yeah they swim and they
hit pong yeah asians dominated they're like black of nba asian pong yeah oh i've
seen forrest gump
so what about uh so you just stopped going to the gym don't you why don't you
just get a regular gym
membership well i got i got fond i got i got a i grew a a love for the rec i
helped the old guy you
know some old guy in dress socks is like and i'll go let me help you there siegfried
or whatever his
name is it's always some guy like merman or something it's always some old guy
duncan you
know so i go hey let me help you and he goes thanks sonny let me buy you an egg
cream or whatever
mark saved bernie sanders at the rec center yeah yeah yeah still don't have
health care
but that should be a resolution oh that's pretty good can we i think that
should be the resolution
that mark has to get health insurance we'll take it out of the patreon
i don't think i need i i haven't been to the hospital since 88 it's not just
the hospital
it's like it's it's more of a just in case you should get it mark you're making
a lot of money
it's really it's it should be one of the it should be like an agent or a
manager it's that's the thing
you just have but don't you feel like if you don't go to the hospital you
wasted that month
i mean do you not go to the doctor for anything you've told me you've had
shoulder stuff i mean
what do you do you just pay out of pocket i know a guy i know a guy this is how
he's gonna mark i've
got prostate cancer you should see a doctor i've got a guy he meets me in an
alley he gives me a shot
meet me in this chipotle bathroom i'll look at your prostate he knows the code
this guy's a pro
uh yeah all right maybe you're right get health care because when you go
without insurance hey they
look at you sideways sure you go hey what's your insurance like i don't have it
i go jesus christ
and then it's like four grand yeah dude that's like what health insurance costs
for the year you
should do you should get it yeah am i wrong here maybe i'm holding out look at
that is also saying
you should get it i keep hearing the health there's on the way it's coming it's
coming free health care
i don't think it's coming all right all right if obamacare didn't push it
through to free nothing
is gonna push it through i mean that's we're it's not gonna be free i mean
american health care
fucking blows but you gotta get it yeah it's really horrible but i'm not doing
a great sales pitch
here it's the worst i sound like i'm talking about game of thrones it's
terrible you gotta watch
right right well the thing about obamacare is i signed up and then they had one
one hiccup with
the password and i just said fuck it i'm done you might be because you did that
netflix special you
might be eligible for sag oh you can look into that i gotta pay those dues oh
yeah me too oh jeez i'll
just pay them when i get a part in something yeah they remind you those unions
remind you i know
unions man they're not fucking around they're not fucking around and then you
forget to pay it then
five years later they're like oh you owe uh 10 grand you're like jesus christ i
have a gym in my
building i don't it's a small one but i don't use it a lot what oh you
occasionally but i'll tell you
this i got a trainer because of my neck so i was like i don't use her a ton but
i use her to kind
of get back into it and it's a whole thing in my building it's a lot of old
people and they're kind
of like you're not allowed to use a trainer so i've been scolded a couple times
whoa first off i'm
gonna say this about my building i get woken up every day by construction some
old asshole is getting
uh you know renovations going on in there yep you know it's not enough there it's
this shit this is a
peeve of mine and look i'm gonna i'm gonna start with saying this is a real
first world
complaint but guess what we're living in the first world baby you got that
right i can go hell yeah
here's what happens i'm in there with a trainer and two separate old guys walk
over to me and go
we don't care personally but you're not supposed to have a trainer what but we
don't care so mom's
the word but you just so you know because you're young or because they're in
the building just because
they don't some weird thing where buildings are you're not supposed to have
trainers and what the
fuck how exclusive is that i can't bring a gal in to work out with uh she's
literally guiding me
because i'm in she doesn't want me to get re-injured so it's like that's
literally why
she's there and we're very quiet but they were like it is a peeve of mine
people go i don't care
personally but this is a rule i'm like well listen nerd i didn't read the handbook
here that's why i
don't know the fucking rules i'm breaking the rules i'm not even knowing them i
hate these nerds and
they're all on the board hey we're on the board and the board says the co-op
board co-op board is a
menace you're if you're on a co-op board you're a fucking nerd you're worse
than the clan
yes it's a whole different kind of group it's exclusive to new york only new york
where they're
like we have to approve you yes yes fuck get over yourself i know we have a
board in my building in
there a nightmare because we we had to rent out the roof for stuff because the
roof is common space so
like hey we're gonna have a barbecue and like oh all right well we're gonna
charge you this month
it's got to be over by 11 i'm like what is this russia we're having a barbecue
get out of here
it's open air no one is up here it's really crazy it's like that's a new york
thing yeah and the
nicer the building the country of the board yeah anyone who's involved with
that shit it's like
oh just get over yourself i know get a life go do something go help go to a
soup kitchen what are
you hassling the people who live here for yeah well they were they were
definitely annoyed with me they
were definitely like we don't mind i'm like i think you mind that's a big peeve
yeah i'm okay with it
but just so you know the rules that's get out of here get out of here i know
exactly what you're
doing it's passive aggressive it's phony it's bad yeah you should do that hey i
don't mind your
toupee but i heard some people talking about it you know like where does it end
yeah so what does
the trainer do is she she's just kind of guiding me to like strengthening my my
neck again because i
you know i've you know i have a herniated disc but i mean do you do pull downs
or yeah whatever
we can but she's just making sure my neck is in the proper position because i
could re-injure it
easily does she hold it does she give you a brace i'm worried she's getting a
free ride here how
much you paying this gal that'