Name: We Might Be Drunk Ep 59: Gin Gimlets
Uploaded: 2022-01-24T02:00:05.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'We Might Be Drunk Ep 59: Gin Gimlets' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-01-24. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'We Might Be Drunk Ep 59: Gin Gimlets' from We Might Be Drunk Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-01-24. Transcript available.

We Might Be Drunk Ep 59: Gin Gimlets

we might be drunk we might be drunk as long as we are hanging out you know we
might be drunk
raise a glass let's talk shit pet peeves wrecks and a bit maybe drunk we might
be drunk yeah
hey hey folks here we are we might be drunk gonna be back in studio it's a new
year a new
queer and we're here how the hell are you i want a beer yeah trying to keep the
rhyme going we got
the beer jew i'm good man yeah how you doing good good i'm feeling fresh i showered
uh it's not that
cold today i'm back it's nice out it's nice i bought a new shirt look at that
that's all right
what do you think too tight it's a little tight ah i knew it i mean it's just
maybe it works what do
you think i think he's getting fatter all right that i can change that i can
change but i bought
this shirt in des moines so i can't return it yeah damn it's a little tight
fuck where'd you
where'd you go i went to the mall there's nothing to do which store in the mall
though uh express for
men had a 60 off sale i knew there was a catch i would never go to express for
men mark wants to
be a jew so badly he only shops at discounts that's that's true yeah i mean i
stole it but uh you know
what's funny i believe him yeah it's a joke for the bob but i could see him
doing it i stole one and
bought one did you really yeah you stole a shirt yeah how did you steal it how'd
you get it out of
the store i wore i put it on rip the tags off there was no uh sensor by the way
ripping the tags off
shows like you intentionally did it like there's premium you think you did it
by accident i'm saying
you can no longer walk out and be like oh i forgot well i remember the tags oh
i forgot i was wearing
i forgot i ripped the tags off well i wouldn't let them see the tags no if they
catch you you can no
longer say oh it was an accident sure sure but i if they caught me i would it
would go beep beep beep
i go oh shit sorry it is funny that mark like he's getting a little better
because he's only stealing
from sales yes that's you could tell he's like working out he's not stealing
from like banana
republic he's stealing from express from n 60 off it's progress thank you 100
off five figure disc
but my biggest my biggest accomplishment was i did conan one night i needed a
nice shirt went to the
mall in la put a shirt on wore it on conan with the buzzer on it wow i went
around conan going can
anybody crack this code and get this thing off of there and they're like what
are you doing no we have
we have uh classy celebrities on the show usually we don't steal their clothes
exactly but did it with
the sensor on you were you were reckless yeah to to steal the day of a late
night like if he gets
arrested they have to get a different guest that's a good point i didn't think
about that what would
you get a slap on the wrist like it's okay the first guest is winona ryder
nothing will go wrong here
you don't go to jail for that do you i don't know one shirt probably not
probably not but it's not
grand theft auto here i did kill a prostitute but that's true what are we
drinking beer jew
today we're drinking uh gin gimlets as mark requested wow oh we're gonna soften
them up a
little bit with a little bit of saint germain and that's it just sweeten them
up a little bit sometimes
you sweeten them up with so it's saint germain gin and lime juice yeah
basically that's all a gimlet is
but gimlet really is just gin or vodka and lime juice and that's it but i'm
gonna soften up for
you guys just this one time oh boy thanks boy with that shirt who's uh who's
running the surf shop
you know who he looks like he looks like spider-man if he was on the jersey
shore
yeah i don't think i got enough uh you know it's killing time and that's it so
that movie is that's
like i love how people are like it's saved cinema but it's like only for
superhero movies yeah it's not
like people are running to the movie to see belfast you know or uh mcbeth yeah
i saw it there you go
but i want to see belfast spider-man is uh tom holland now it's all three of
them this time
what yeah they did like a thing where all three of them are in it jeez i can't
keep up there's
too many there's a universe a metaverse hey cheers anal hey hey cheers never
had a gimlet this is what
i used to order when i was underage because i thought they wouldn't card me so
i say can i have
a gin gimlet they'd be like well surely he's over 40 right like 17. oh boy that's
tasty it's like uh
like a white man's margarita this is a margarita fruit this is a margarita for
people who own slaves
there you go that's pretty much on the mark yeah this is good is this an old
lady drink is that what
you're saying gimlets gimlets are almost exclusively an old white lady with
pearls drink is that right for
sure absolutely they want an ice cold gimlet up and if you put anything except
gin and lime in there
they're gonna yell at you and probably find the manager so they should call
this a a karen on the
rocks aha we'll go to the carlisle after this and we'll hopefully get picked up
by a strong man yes
that's i'm gonna baron a gentleman caller yeah there you go my wife's baron all
right baron davis
all right baron vaughn he's on everything that guy he's on shows now he's on
like every tv show
frankie and shirley what is it called grace and frankie grace and frankie yeah
yeah lily tomlin
still going i love i love lily tomlin yeah she's great i grew up with lily tomlin
that big uh
rocking chair uh laughing all right i never watched it it was big it was the
reruns played when i was a
kid but jane fonda still fuckable would you oh yeah what are you kidding i want
to break her
in half it'd be so easy i don't think that'll take you yeah you breathe on her
a little hard
you're like oh shit i mean i can't i feel like if you undo her blouse her whole
body falls apart
but uh she's still hanging in i mean she's got to be what 600 how old is she
let's see
gotta be 80. i bet more really i mean she was literally in vietnam so let's see
what yeah she was in vietnam what do you mean in vietnam she went there and
advocated for the enemy
do you remember this whoa hanoi jane nothing oh oh oh the movie no she went to
vietnam and went to the
other side and said uh americans should stop bombing you people and she was
sitting there on a what are
those things called those big anti-aircraft guns yeah let me just bring it up
for you damn i like it
they were probably like you people what the hell there she is damn wow i knew
she was an activist i
didn't know this there she's in vietnam on the other side saying stop the war
how do you like that
wow i like she didn't live this down for like two decades really like the 80s
into the jazzercise
stuff she didn't really live it down she married ted turner right that's right
damn i like how she
does it she's not just tweeting she's like i'll go there and i'll sit on a
plane yeah yeah the new
jane fond is just gonna be like i retweeted something exactly that's it hey man
uh
great lily tomlin movie steve martin all of me you ever see that one i don't
know yeah it's a good
flick lily tomlin is great she's great so funny been funny for years friends
with prior yeah he was
in love with her is that right yeah but she was she was gay big les is gay yeah
wait how old uh fonda we
never got it born in 37 i can't do the math sounds like 85 wow i don't know
anyone want to do math
there beer jew 84 jane fonda is 84 so we found mark's high number there you go
84 that's you
know i would do it you would oh yeah i'd bring her a metamucil and a nice nice
plowing
yeah we'd have dinner at 4 p.m and uh make love you get you get out for your
spots in time
yeah and she'd probably have a gimlet man these are pretty these do go down
pretty easy they're too
easy these old ladies are on to something it's like jay bond what it's going
down easy
ted turner huh he's uh the superstation yeah yeah tbs tbs yeah good for him
is he still alive no way right i think so i think he also owned the braves yeah
he did wow he's a big
republican isn't he oh yeah that was the whole thing i think so what the hell
she's all fighting
the vietnam war then she says he's still alive more than 38. wow he's hanging
in there he was hitting
that older woman well they're the same age right she was more than 37. there
you go oh
everyone talks about power move dating younger i think a real power move is
dating older
interesting who's done that uh i don't know davidson he has a few times kate uh
what's her name
beckinsale yeah doesn't get much hotter than that good for him pull her up just
uh just to get the
needle moving it's not the only thing moving she's 48 48 i'll tell you i mean
40 is the new 30 or
whatever they say but uh it's true well you just like well for her yeah true i
love him i i've had
that thought well i'm like man i hope i age like you know some of these actors
and you're like
they look different at my age yeah you know you see like clooney now you're
like well maybe i'll age
like that you're like look at clooney at 35 yeah he looks fucking good he's
amazing full head of hair
in shape good skin nice suit on we never see clooney in like a bathrobe no
although he'd probably have a
nice bathrobe he'd probably look good in that too yeah how do you guys feel
about a bathrobe yeah do you do
you guys own a bathrobe i don't but all the things you've stolen it's never
been a bathrobe no i guess
you're right i never put it on it's not me really well i'll throw it on in a
hotel or something but i
you put one on you just i used to have that old joke a bathrobe is the weirdest
piece of clothing
because it's either a mental patient or hugh hefner yeah you know there's not
much in the middle
yeah that's true you know it's it's kingpin and they're wearing it for
different reasons yeah
yeah hugh hefner's just like i'm gonna every three hours right that's why he's
wearing the
do you wear one i have one i don't really wear it you see i got it during the
pandemic during the
pandemic you start buying you don't really need oh yeah but you're just like
yeah i've never been
on etsy like i'll give it a shot oh you had that nice one yeah it looks cool
looks great it's like a
that's like a hefner smoker's jacket totally it's badass but see my dad wore
this shitty blue
and it looked like an old towel and it scarred me because he crossed his legs
it was like basic
instinct it was like no underwear huge balls hairy it was wild you're like wayne
knight you're sweating
but for a different reason yeah yeah he had black socks up to here with the
with the balls out
was basic instinct a good movie i think it was pretty good for a thriller yeah
i just remember jack
off to it as a child so i don't remember if it was like good or not but i
remember like it wasn't
just sharon stone it was gene triple horn too yeah oh that's right look at you
bringing in the uh the
b squad well you got to remember if you have a history yeah oh triple was my
jewish slur
that's right now i remember triple i really am mark's jewish friend that lets
him get away with this
shit yeah like i'm like i wonder why mark wants to do a podcast with me then he
says that i'm like ah
all right no no i'm around the jewish thing actually held me back
what's that guys what's the uh the anti-defamation league the the when you make
a jewish joke they come
after you and they came after che for a while he did a jewish joke but they're
gonna come after
you for letting me i don't think they'll even touch me i remember chase joke i
didn't find it offensive
i didn't either yeah although we're not the right people but also it's like we
kind of are
right what was the joke i don't even it was something about israel but it was
kind of like
you know what stereotype joke yeah who gives a shit it's like one of the things
you're like
like maybe we're not the right people to talk to offensive jokes because we don't
get offended that
easily but also like then maybe we are the right people because that's what we
do interesting like
we are decent 